CULTURAL KITSCH FROM AROUND THE WORLD

[HairOfTheDog]

CHINA: Strippers for the Dead



Public nudity and open displays of sexuality in China are taboo, but sometimes the ends justify the means.

The Chinese believe that the bigger attendance at the funeral and the louder the procession, the better the deceased's afterlife will be.

But, with growing numbers of Chinese moving from rural villages to more urban areas, it's not as easy for families in the countryside to gather a respectable funeral crowd.

So, since the mid 80s, rural families have taken to hiring strippers to perform at loved ones' funerals and gravesides in order to draw bigger crowds and attract mourners from neighboring villages. And, it works like a charm!

BUT............leave it to big brother to quash a clever solution to a growing problem. Chinas's government has announced it will be cracking down on the practice, potentially putting plenty of afterlives in peril. Effin' Commies.

http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2015/...strippers/

[Clang McFly]

Good for the Chinese government. If I'm not alive to enjoy the strippers, noone else should get to enjoy them.

[HairOfTheDog]

Good for the Chinese government. If I'm not alive to enjoy the strippers, noone else should get to enjoy them.

Yeah, but you want a bitchin' afterlife, don't you?

Be careful you don't cut off your nose to spite your face. The more people watching and cheering on those strippers while you lie stone cold dead in your coffin, the better chance you'll be enjoying heavenly crab rangoon served to you by lovely nubile nymphs once your bones are planted ten feet under.

Long live strippers for the dead! They're kinda like earth angels.

[Clang McFly]

Good for the Chinese government. If I'm not alive to enjoy the strippers, noone else should get to enjoy them.

Yeah, but you want a bitchin' afterlife, don't you?

Be careful you don't cut off your nose to spite your face. The more people watching and cheering on those strippers while you lie stone cold dead in your coffin, the better chance you'll be enjoying heavenly crab rangoon served to you by lovely nubile nymphs once your bones are planted ten feet under.

Long live strippers for the dead! They're kinda like earth angels.

No bitchin' afterlife.There's no sex or boners in Heaven. Crack open your Bible once in awhile!

Strippers are for the living!

[HairOfTheDog]

Coined Kitsch


^USA: Consider yourself in luck if you have a sudden craving for Imperial River Beluga Caviar wandering around Beverly Hills, Los Angeles — as long as it hits before 2 AM. A few machines in the neighborhood’s malls will sell you an ounce of the roe for a cool $500. They also have escargot, truffles, and even a $4 mother of pearl spoon.


^ Japan: When you go to purchase used panties and porn mags from a vending machine, you can also pick up a Tenga “device” and “special” DVD for self-pleasure.


^ China: Don't have crabs? Want some? This vending machine sells live “fresh” crabs. The machine maintains an internal temperature of 41F to keep the crabs in a hibernation state without killing them. If you receive a dead crab from the vending machine, the company says it will compensate you with three live ones.

[Duchess]

There is fantastic shoe shopping in Heaven so I know damn well there is sex & boners too!

[HairOfTheDog]

No bitchin' afterlife.There's no sex or boners in Heaven. Crack open your Bible once in awhile!

Strippers are for the living!

No boners in heaven?!?! Well, then, what's to say you're not in heaven now?

I have read the Bible for Dummies. So, this I know: even if you consider watching striptease to be a sin (I don't) and you avoid it while you're alive, the Bible gives you no assurance whatsoever that you'll end up in Heaven. That's true no matter how righteous you live your life. You'll just sleep in your grave until Jesus, maybe, returns and raises you to immortal life.

If Jesus indeed decides to drop back in on earth some day, the Bible says that the "wicked" will be raised to life in a separate resurrection—the resurrection of condemnation.

Jesus said, “Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.” (John 5:28, 29, NKJV).

None of which matters, however, because Strippers for Death are for the Chinese and you are a Buddhist in our OP scenario. So, the more mourners enjoying the strippers at Chinaman Clang's Fun-filled Funeral Fiesta, the better chance your spirit will be reincarnated in the body of a Chinese rap mogul crawling with babes and eating crab rangoon to your heart's content.

Strippers for Life and Death.................... and beyond!

[Maggot]

Live lobsters that you grab with a claw machine!



Live lobsters - Japan

This machine takes arcade games to a new level. Customers catch their own dinner by using directional buttons to position a giant mechanical claw above the lobster of their choice, skittering about in an empty glass box beneath.

[Clang McFly]

There is fantastic shoe shopping in Heaven so I know damn well there is sex & boners too!

You may be right. I'm in horny heaven and getting a mental boner thinking about the swimsuits, blazer, blouse, panties, skirt, and nair I ordered today(from Walmart).

(And also terrified if my family finds out what I ordered before I can intercept the package(s) due to arrive Wedsday. I'll be alright as long as it arrives after my brother leaves for work/returns from work and as long as it arrives after my dad gets his meals on wheels)

[Cutz]

There is fantastic shoe shopping in Heaven so I know damn well there is sex & boners too!

Once Rigor Mortis sets in... everything is stiff.

[Duchess]

I'm in horny heaven and getting a mental boner thinking about the swimsuits, blazer, blouse, panties, skirt, and nair I ordered today(from Walmart).

Swimsuits & nair, huh. Gotta keep that bikini line tidy.

Have fun, buddy!

[sally]

There is fantastic shoe shopping in Heaven so I know damn well there is sex & boners too!

You may be right. I'm in horny heaven and getting a mental boner thinking about the swimsuits, blazer, blouse, panties, skirt, and nair I ordered today(from Walmart).

(And also terrified if my family finds out what I ordered before I can intercept the package(s) due to arrive Wedsday. I'll be alright as long as it arrives after my brother leaves for work/returns from work and as long as it arrives after my dad gets his meals on wheels)

Here's an idea, you fat shit. Next time just drive to Walmart and buy the cheap, Oriental crap there and bring it to your room in bags when your dad and brother aren't around.

[sally]

Also if you're worried about people seeing you shopping for girlie clothes, don't be. You know who shops and works at Walmart, Clang? Fucking losers. No one should give a shit what they think. Plus you could be shopping for your obese wife for all anyone knows.