God must love me a whole lot . . . .

[Carsman]

. . . . . . cause He just keeps moving me up and down all day long, and back and forth to the bathroom all night long.


And God Looked Down...
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.
And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.


Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older


#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow!

[username]

Heh-heh. Having lost the new set of keys I just had made about 2 months ago (that cost me, I dunno $300+), I had to purchase yet another set. This time, I also found the loudest volume key finder gizmo I could find on the inter webs. I've used it 2-3 times already. Both times they were in the garage. Setting anything down in my garage is like putting it right in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Or a black hole. Pfft! Gone...

[Carsman]

You're still just a youngster, wait, it only gets worse later on!

[sally]

My son loses his keys constantly among other things like his drivers license, wallet, my fucking credit card, his homework... And he's only 17. Every time he loses the key it's another 300 bucks like User said. This is the last key he gets, when he loses this one he's going to be walking.

He takes after me, I lose all my shit too. Especially when I was pregnant with him. I guess it's common because they have a term for it called pregnancy brain. I once lost a 100 bill and my keys at the same time at the grocery store. I was in the check out line almost in tears.