Just when you thought you've heard it all

[sally]

Sad about the poor dog, but the part where she buried herself to hide from the cops cracked me up.

http://stuppid.com/woman-biting-pitbulls-testicles/

[Duchess]

Sad about the poor dog

I didn't read it because you said that ^^^^^^. Is it a story about a horrible death an animal suffered?

[sally]

The dog made a full recovery. Just read it, it's insane. I didn't even think it was real at first.

I don't know how to post the link so it shows up without having to click on it.

[Duchess]

Crazy old bat. Jesus.

Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused.

“Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like a wild Indian and when I tried to subdue Audrey, she knocked me out with an old tricycle.”

Realizing the police had been called and knowing she had time to hide (it is a 45 minute drive to her house), Mrs. Ranch cut off a length of garden hose, dug a hole and had her son help bury her. She used the garden hose as a breathing apparatus.

Officers from the Boone County Sheriff’s Office arrived, unburied Ranch and arrested her without incident.

Ranch explained her actions to police: “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.”

The dog underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Ranch is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty.

[sally]

I can just picture her buried under the dirt breathing through a hose sticking up out of the ground

[Duchess]

She bit the balls off a pitbull. Jesus God.

[sally]

It was out in the middle of nowhere in West Virginia too, like something you'd see in a horror movie. I'd hate to make a wrong turn and end up at her house.

[HairOfTheDog]

It's always the pretty sweet looking ones in flowered frocks that you have to worry about.

[FAHQTOO]

It's always the pretty sweet looking ones in flowered frocks that you have to worry about.

She's one hot momma.

[Jimbone]

There is no way this can be real. No. Way.

[sally]

Well if someone made it up it's pretty funny. She knocked out the neighbor with an old tricycle .

[ramseycat]

Wow.

[Duchess]

I've been telling people this story. The look on some of their faces is priceless.

[Jimbone]

"So, how was your shift today?"

"Well, I arrested this 62 year old women who bit the balls off of a pit bull, clobbered her neighbor with a tricycle, and then buried herself alive in her yard."

"Oh, so just a normal day in West Virginia then?"

[sally]

It cracks me up every time I think about it.

Cop: So where is Ms. Ranch now?

Neighbor: She's buried over there under the tree.

Cop: What?

Neighbor: Welp after she bit off Pedro's balls she nigger rigged the garden hose as a breathing apparatus and buried herself.

Cop: Ms. Ranch, can you hear me? I know you're under there, I can see your foot.

[HairOfTheDog]

Pig Arrested

The mental picture of this one going down cracks me up too.

Debbie DeRiemaecker was doing yard work last Thursday evening at her home in Macomb County’s Shelby Township near Detroit when out of nowhere a pig came barreling toward her.

The pig chased her into the front yard before apparently getting distracted by a decorative ball.

DeRiemaecker wasn't sure what to do. So, she called 911 and explained the situation.

Cops arrived at the scene and used a pole to corral and apprehend the pig; it did not resist arrest and no injuries were incurred.


^ Busted -- rogue pig on the way to the pen

While the cops were deciding what to do next, the pig's owner called the police station.

While the pig was well-behaved in the cruiser, the officers told its owner, it appeared to want the last laugh and shit all over the back seat.



The owner cleaned the police car before springing his pet pig and taking it home.

http://nypost.com/2015/06/02/stray-pig-m...olice-car/
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/smiling-pig-...te-a-mess/

[Duchess]

I like this story so much! Thank you!

I'm lovin' the look on his face, it makes me laugh out loud.

[HairOfTheDog]

I'm lovin' the look on his face, it makes me laugh out loud.

He's cute and wily -- that photo makes me smile big, especially in the context of the story.

[Cutz]

She actually could have died using a garden hose as a breathing tube.

[Maggot]

I want to see the back of the cruiser after she was in it.