RE: the 2016 trivial drivel thread

[Blindgreed1]

My chest x-ray came back normal, phew. Now I'm going to ask if he can order an x-ray of my jaw just to make sure there are no masses there. He's an ENT doctor and I go to him for everything because I like him way better than my primary doctor. He probably thinks I'm insane.

No, he knows you are but your money is green.

[sally]

He doesn't charge me that much though, 50 bucks for an office visit which I think is very reasonable. I brought my son in there one time after he broke his nose and he said that it was already set and nothing you can do about it other than surgery and he didn't even charge me at all. That cocksucking primary doctor I have charges me $200 bucks to talk to me for 5 minutes.

[Donovan]

Anybody who snorts anything off another person's ass is someone who does not take their drug habit seriously. Let that girl sneeze or fart one time, and that guy is looking at the world's most expensive toot cloud. Plus, coke numbs the shit out of anything it touches in addition to making you really horny when ingested. So essentially that dude is pouring large quantities of nerve-deadening agents all over an area very close to something he's gonna want to keep very sensitive in a little bit. Any of that powder rolls down her crack and her pussy gonna look like it just got its wisdom teeth removed, and be about as responsive.

Young people just don't think shit through.

[Donovan]

Oh yeah, glad you're not dead Sally.

[F.U.]

Anybody who snorts anything off another person's ass is someone who does not take their drug habit seriously. Let that girl sneeze or fart one time, and that guy is looking at the world's most expensive toot cloud. Plus, coke numbs the shit out of anything it touches in addition to making you really horny when ingested. So essentially that dude is pouring large quantities of nerve-deadening agents all over an area very close to something he's gonna want to keep very sensitive in a little bit. Any of that powder rolls down her crack and her pussy gonna look like it just got its wisdom teeth removed, and be about as responsive.

Young people just don't think shit through.

Nope, thought it through. 2 women no problems. One for the banging and one for the blowing. Problem solved.
You gotta think outsida the box man. Pun intended.

[Donovan]

So two women, but only one gets coke because the other one has it all over her ass? I dunno what cokehead chicks YOU hang out with, but if I ever tried to present a scenario where one of my chicks gets coke and gets laid, and the other one gets a numb asscheek and a stinging vagina, I might lose a testicle. At the very least.

[F.U.]

You know Dono, you sure know how to ruin a fantasy. I bet you are a hoot at a strip club. Fuckin fun hater.

[Donovan]

LOL you don't wanna know my opinion of strip clubs.

[BigMark]

I'm always amazed at what a girl will do for a dollar.

[Donovan]

I'm always amazed what some guys will do to feel wanted.

[F.U.]

You do know that going to a strip bar isn't all about the girls, right? Its fun to hang out and bullshit at one , just like you da a regular bar and in some cases its less expensive.

The strip bar that is close to my house is a BYOB bar. $10 cover charge and that's it. So its actually saving me money by going there instead of a regular bar. Titty bar 10 bucks at the door and 20 bucks for a 30 pack of beer. So $30 total. My bar, no cover charge, but $2.75 a beer x 30 beers , total $82.50 . So that means I can throw 52 bucks at the girls and still break even. That's means I get to see 104 NIPPLES for free !

[sally]

Strip bars have a peculiar odor, like a mix of stale beer, stale cigars and rancid pussy. I'm going to make a candle called "strip club" and try to sell it to Yankee Candles.

[Donovan]

You do know that going to a strip bar isn't all about the girls, right? Its fun to hang out and bullshit at one , just like you da a regular bar and in some cases its less expensive.

The strip bar that is close to my house is a BYOB bar. $10 cover charge and that's it. So its actually saving me money by going there instead of a regular bar. Titty bar 10 bucks at the door and 20 bucks for a 30 pack of beer. So $30 total. My bar, no cover charge, but $2.75 a beer x 30 beers , total $82.50 . So that means I can throw 52 bucks at the girls and still break even. That's means I get to see 104 NIPPLES for free !

Maybe in your neighborhood, but up here the costs of going to a titty bar are frequently more expensive when you factor in covers, tips, and the ultra expensive drinks. Under certain conditions, tittie bars that offer full or nearly full nudity can't even serve alcohol, so we get the privilege of overpriced juice.

Here's my problem with titty bars in a nutshell.
1. I have multiple family members from several generations who worked the stage. That means whenever I go to a titty bar I automatically see someone's sister, niece, daughter, mother up there. Instant boner kill.
2. All those relatives told stories, which means I know going in these girls are playing me to get a dollar or twenty off me and are genuinely jaded and mercenary. It destroys the fantasy of actually thinking some hot young nekkid girl actually really does want to grind my denims all evening.
3.I Fucking hate drunks. Seriously. The most obnoxious collective group of humans on the planet. And all of them tend to go hang out in titty bars where they can bullshit. Between them and the pathetic bastards sitting up by the stage dispensing dollars like glazed over automatons, the whole scene is depressing as fuck.
4. There's this thing called the internet where for forty bucks a month I can see unlimited nipples. Fucking nipplepalooza. Of every type and tenor. And all those millions of titties will give me exactly as much action as the couple dozen on stage will. Plus, I'm allowed to take off my pants and jack it. Err, jacket.

So there you have it.
You can keep the titty bars.

Strip bars have a peculiar odor, like a mix of stale beer, stale cigars and rancid pussy. I'm going to make a candle called "strip club" and try to sell it to Yankee Candles.

And desperation. That's the odor you can't identify. Like a mix of old sweat, salty tears and cheetohs.

[Midwest Spy]

Marky Mark- Donnie D is on the backup, drug free so put the crack up.

Wahlberg boys did okay for themselves.

[sally]

My husband doesn't like titty bars or even bars in general, he's never been that guy that I have to worry about going to the strip bar with his buddies. He'd rather be home with me and his kids. It's not that he doesn't like looking at women, he just doesn't like it in that atmosphere I guess. I know he looks at porn in private, but as far as looking at other women he's not real obnoxious about it and has zero desire to go to any clubs.

[Maggot]

One time I went to a titty bar, I think it was the last time. A woman stripped and danced in front of me and stared into my soul. She scared the hell outta me.

[Duchess]

There's a tropical storm brewing offshore and it's supposed to start coming up the coast tomorrow. You could cut the humidity with a knife. The heat index was 99 at 8:30 this morning.

[Duchess]

Holy shit. Wrong thread. Hahaha. Oops.

[Maggot]

I'm stunned! You stung me with your stun stinger.

[FAHQTOO]

I'm stunned! You stung me with your stun stinger.

I'm stunned that someone pays $40 a month to watch porn.