hypothetical: calling all evil vagina monsters

[sally]

Ever been just letting loose on somebody, screaming and crying and snot bubbles and throwing shit, and have them just shrug at you, or worse, laugh?

Nope, like you I can be a cold hearted bitch and turn off all emotions. With my husband anyway. I'm not that way with my children.

[username]

Every time she works late, every time there's a mystery text or a gap in her whereabouts...I ain't that guy. And I don't wanna be.

I can't believe I made it this far in to the thread before commenting.

Are you saying that you don't trust her? And you don't want to be that mistrustful type of guy?

You're a fucking idiot. Maybe if you didn't give her a reason to doubt you at every damn turn, you wouldn't have to wonder about EVA having some revenge sex.

I can't believe you told her (basically) that you came back because you were broke. Jesus, Jon and Mary. You're not the Jedi master you think you are if you wanted the relationship to work. If not, just say "excuse me, I break up with you now" instead of just giving her a buffet of reasons to kick your ass to the curb, chicken shit.

*walks off in disgust*

[sally]

Every time she works late, every time there's a mystery text or a gap in her whereabouts...I ain't that guy. And I don't wanna be.

I can't believe I made it this far in to the thread before commenting.

Are you saying that you don't trust her? And you don't want to be that mistrustful type of guy?

You're a fucking idiot. Maybe if you didn't give her a reason to doubt you at every damn turn, you wouldn't have to wonder about EVA having some revenge sex.

I can't believe you told her (basically) that you came back because you were broke. Jesus, Jon and Mary. You're not the Jedi master you think you are if you wanted the relationship to work. If not, just say "excuse me, I break up with you now" instead of just giving her a buffet of reasons to kick your ass to the curb, chicken shit.

*walks off in disgust*

Do you fucking people know how to skim a thread? It's like what you do in school before a test that you haven't studied for, you look in the book real quick. You should at least do that little before commenting.

[Maggot]

THUMP,THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP,THUMP THUMP

[username]

Do you fucking people know how to skim a thread? It's like what you do in school before a test that you haven't studied for, you look in the book real quick. You should at least do that little before commenting.

Sure. Ok. I'll get right on that because the high school drop out said so.

[sally]

Do you fucking people know how to skim a thread? It's like what you do in school before a test that you haven't studied for, you look in the book real quick. You should at least do that little before commenting.

Sure. Ok. I'll get right on that because the high school drop out said so.

Fine don't look through the posts then, lazy ass. I'll just let you cheat off all my hard work reading this soup chicken shit and tell you that Donovan is really Eva in the story. He's describing what his gf did to him.

[Donovan]

lol, and FQ2 has the nerve to ask why I did the ol switcheroo. Sheer entertainment value alone, as it instantly becomes apparent who read and who didn't. heh.

For the record, every single person who bothered to read and/or respond: I took each and every response seriously and contemplated all of it. I kept my motives and what I was looking for to myself out of necessity so that the responses would not be skewed. I know I'm a prick. I don't need people rushing to tell me otherwise or heartily agree.

What I don't know, and what you people help me with all the time, is whether I'm within normal range boundaries. Because fuck if I know what they are.

PS is it bad if I imagine FQ2 getting so mad at me that she rips off all her clothes, and then we kiss? I'm not saying I did, but hypothetically...is that bad?

[FAHQTOO]

lol, and FQ2 has the nerve to ask why I did the ol switcheroo. Sheer entertainment value alone, as it instantly becomes apparent who read and who didn't. heh.

For the record, every single person who bothered to read and/or respond: I took each and every response seriously and contemplated all of it. I kept my motives and what I was looking for to myself out of necessity so that the responses would not be skewed. I know I'm a prick. I don't need people rushing to tell me otherwise or heartily agree.

What I don't know, and what you people help me with all the time, is whether I'm within normal range boundaries. Because fuck if I know what they are.

PS is it bad if I imagine FQ2 getting so mad at me that she rips off all her clothes, and then we kiss? I'm not saying I did, but hypothetically...is that bad?

You flatter yourself way too much. I don't think anyone in here has ever seen me really pissed off. I bet I could give you a run for your money if I ever got as pissed as you do.

Hypothetically...I would rather stab myself in the juggelar before I let you kiss me. Hypothetically and all. It's not like I really would. I would stab you!

Haha! If we ever hooked up, one of us would be dead in a week. I wonder which one...

[Cutz]

Although difficult to do, you need to try to take her out of the picture

I agree with BBH. Just kill the bitch.


But seriously, I picked up on the role reversal as soon as you said the man met the party girl secretly but there was no sex. Men don't pull that half-assed shit of "meeting for closure." They decide to ride dirty, or they keep their dick at home.

I'll tell you what finance class taught me. There's no such thing as good business decisions based on sunk costs. All the time, energy, history... it's in the past. You can't bring back the past no matter what. Whether you invested 5 bucks or 500 million bucks, there's no way to get that money back. It's sunk. All you can do is look at today, this point forward, and say "does this project yield a positive net present value?" Is the revenue higher than the expenses moving forward? If not, kill the project.

You seem like you're very convinced you'll never get over the lying. I can tell you that you can, and you should forgive her for lying right now. I'm very much the same way, I am fiercely loyal and totally lose my shit when others aren't. But anger fades with time and maturity, and anger shouldn't affect your future strategy. You have a choice to make same as her. Stay or go. She'll either decide she was an idiot for considering alternatives, or she'll choose to move on. That's her life no matter what ultimatums you give her.

If you both decide to invest in the relationship, it could move back in a positive direction. It is a possibility. But it will take a lot of effort on both your parts. If the energy and time that it would take to reach that point isn't worth the payout (again from right now moving forward), then you'll resent each other for not being worth the trouble, and you should invest your resources elsewhere.

That "once a cheater always a cheater" "people don't change" "eye for an eye" mentality is crap. All that shit is in the past too. Decision making is all about the future. If I had to pin down a recommendation, I'd say take another break until you both decide what you want to do moving forward, but ultimately the decision is up to you.

[Duchess]

Why do people confess when it serves no purpose? Don't deliberately hurt others for fuckssake.

[aussiefriend]

@Fahqtoo
If you or anyone else paid attention you would realize that Donovan did not go through this job change that he described, nor did he tell us about super hot girl-Because he would have!
I knew something was off about the story but I didn't know what!!!!!

@Dono please don't settle.

If you were paying attention, you would have realized several posts ago that we already came to the conclusion that some of us weren't paying attention. Thanks for the reminder anyways.

Well I don't have the opportunity to post throughout the day as some of you do. You were still calling him an asshole and a liar on page 4 so I assumed you were not over it yet.

Asshole is my new name for him, until I get tired of it. Just like I've called Aussie Crazy Lady for years. It's a term of endearment, Mock style.

yeh just don't call me a snob, that really gets me agro

[Duchess]

What I don't know, and what you people help me with all the time, is whether I'm within normal range boundaries. Because fuck if I know what they are.

So how's it going? Did you spend the weekend together? Are you having second thoughts about leaving? Has she asked you to stay and work on your issues together?

It's not bad to imagine FQ2 that way. I do it all the time.

[Donovan]

She acted all hurt that I took her seriously when she lay there and told me we needed to break up, but I'm not about that drama bullshit. You tell me you want me gone, you better damn well mean it because I do not beg and I do not stay where I am not wanted. She disappeared Saturday night, second week in a row, and Sunday was quiet and awkward because she found out I already rented a place.

[Duchess]

I already rented a place.

I hope you do things in your new home to make it cozy & comfortable so that it will be more of a quiet retreat for you rather than someplace to sit in the dark and watch TV all weekend and I hope you don't give up on love. It's not like you're a crotchety old man, you're still young and contrary to all the negatives you've given yourself, I don't view you that way. I think you're someone of value.

[FAHQTOO]

What I don't know, and what you people help me with all the time, is whether I'm within normal range boundaries. Because fuck if I know what they are.

So how's it going? Did you spend the weekend together? Are you having second thoughts about leaving? Has she asked you to stay and work on your issues together?

It's not bad to imagine FQ2 that way. I do it all the time.

Huh? Maybe it's the Dominican Rum, but that confused the he'll out of me.

[Duchess]

Huh? Maybe it's the Dominican Rum, but that confused the he'll out of me.

Pissed off and ripping your clothes off and kissing.



I'm not drunk.

[FAHQTOO]

Huh? Maybe it's the Dominican Rum, but that confused the he'll out of me.

Pissed off and ripping your clothes off and kissing.



I'm not drunk.

I am...again!
I know I'm getting too old for this shit. I've drank more the last 3 days than I have in probably 2 years. No alcohol tomorrow for me.
Nope...don't get pissed off and rip my clothes off anymore.

[Blindgreed1]

Although difficult to do, you need to try to take her out of the picture

I agree with BBH. Just kill the bitch.


But seriously, I picked up on the role reversal as soon as you said the man met the party girl secretly but there was no sex. Men don't pull that half-assed shit of "meeting for closure." They decide to ride dirty, or they keep their dick at home.

I'll tell you what finance class taught me. There's no such thing as good business decisions based on sunk costs. All the time, energy, history... it's in the past. You can't bring back the past no matter what. Whether you invested 5 bucks or 500 million bucks, there's no way to get that money back. It's sunk. All you can do is look at today, this point forward, and say "does this project yield a positive net present value?" Is the revenue higher than the expenses moving forward? If not, kill the project.

You seem like you're very convinced you'll never get over the lying. I can tell you that you can, and you should forgive her for lying right now. I'm very much the same way, I am fiercely loyal and totally lose my shit when others aren't. But anger fades with time and maturity, and anger shouldn't affect your future strategy. You have a choice to make same as her. Stay or go. She'll either decide she was an idiot for considering alternatives, or she'll choose to move on. That's her life no matter what ultimatums you give her.

If you both decide to invest in the relationship, it could move back in a positive direction. It is a possibility. But it will take a lot of effort on both your parts. If the energy and time that it would take to reach that point isn't worth the payout (again from right now moving forward), then you'll resent each other for not being worth the trouble, and you should invest your resources elsewhere.

That "once a cheater always a cheater" "people don't change" "eye for an eye" mentality is crap. All that shit is in the past too. Decision making is all about the future. If I had to pin down a recommendation, I'd say take another break until you both decide what you want to do moving forward, but ultimately the decision is up to you.

TLDNR

[Donovan]

PS is it bad if I imagine FQ2 getting so mad at me that she rips off all her clothes, and then we kiss? I'm not saying I did, but hypothetically...is that bad?

Hypothetically...I would rather stab myself in the juggelar before I let you kiss me. Hypothetically and all. It's not like I really would. I would stab you!

Haha! If we ever hooked up, one of us would be dead in a week. I wonder which one...

You wouldn't be able to reach my "juggelar" from where I'd be kissing. You could stab the top of my head, maybe.

And I would definitely be the one dead in a week. You'd probably give me some exotic disease like Ginger-vitis.

Women gonna be the death of me...but what a way to go.

[Donovan]

I already rented a place.

I hope you do things in your new home to make it cozy & comfortable so that it will be more of a quiet retreat for you rather than someplace to sit in the dark and watch TV all weekend and I hope you don't give up on love. It's not like you're a crotchety old man, you're still young and contrary to all the negatives you've given yourself, I don't view you that way. I think you're someone of value.

It's a room in a beautiful farmhouse on the creek near work, nice joint fully furnished and paid for with no fuss no muss. I'm going to throw my shit in a storage locker for a couple of months. I find myself in a very reflective place. My boy is 18 in a week and well on his way to his own life. My job is 23-years now and about as fulfilling as it's ever going to get. I have no desire for advancement there. New York wears at me. Think I'm gonna take the summer to regroup and decide what to do next. I'm tired of sitting still. Figuratively and literally.

snip

Anger isn't my problem. I am dispassionate but maybe too quick to cut ties, mainly because I have no use for people who lie to me. Let me see your finance grad advice and raise you one learned as a half-a-century-old philosopher. The self that we all use as our sense of identity is a figment, as mutable and changeable as the tide. There is no "real you" inside you, not as a constant. And the "you" of this exact instant looks back on the "you" of ten minutes, months, years ago with the same disdain as you will one day look back on this moment. This is also true of me. As Hamlet said, "I am but mad north-northwest; when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw."
You may take from this what you choose. I take from it that change itself is the only constant, and time is the only thing we can give away and never get back. So it would seem the biggest sin would be to waste what little we have, on either a bad effort or a bad relationship.

But thank you all for wasting a little of yours on me.