Privilege

[Love Child]

I recently witnessed a conversation in a community about racism and sexism where a guy was told to "check his privilege".

The whole thread was annoying and had nothing to do with promoting gaming as great for women, and women great for gaming. I was glad to see it deleted. There are plenty of other forums where people can argue about racism and free speech and taking things personally. Why do we feel the need to do it here?

Let's keep this forum on-topic: promoting women in gaming!

I thought what he said was fine. The conversation was annoying and was not about gaming or bringing women up-it was about tearing women down-and by other women!

But as soon as he said this he became the enemy. He was accused of "man-splaning" and not realizing his privilege.

So I had to check out what "checking your privilege means. I thought I knew, I thought I understood, but I wanted to make sure.

There are check lists even just in case you are not sure. So I started walking around the place I work, which is also the place I live and I started looking at each person I met and asked myself which is the more privileged one, me or them.

So how do you think about or not think about privilege?

[Donovan]

Sounds like you witnessed a classic ad hominem attack that accomplished exactly what the person wanted it to do. Attacking an argument by attacking the person, using deliberately reactionary language designed to turn the listeners against the opponent.

Privelige does exist, there is no doubt. Being white and possessing a penis are definite advantages in some circles. However, green is a MUCH more priveliged color, and thanks to the gains made by minorities in the area of being filthy rich, much more multicultural than it used to be. It's a hell of a lot easier to be Beyonce's or Kim K's offspring than mine, for example. White privelige only goes so far, and only in certain circles. But green Privelige is timeless.

[Duchess]

This is the very first time I've heard the expression "check your privilege". I googled it and I'm left with the impression it means something along the line of, how dare you. Is that right or wrong?

I don't think I've ever given thought to privilege. I know I've had some advantages in life that some haven't had but it's all relative because others have had way more than me. I'm just a middle class cracker like millions of other people. I don't necessarily feel privileged.

Having said all that, I still don't think I understand "check your privilege". Seems like kind of a snotty expression.

[aussiefriend]

Duch, you realise I could never introduce you to Oprah after saying that I mean you would put me in an awkward position "this is my friend Duchess of Mock, she just a middle class cracker".

HoTD your serve.

[Duchess]

Duch, you realise I could never introduce you to Oprah after saying that I mean you would put me in an awkward position "this is my friend Duchess of Mock, she just a middle class cracker".

It's okay, honey, even if I had a big fat horn to toot, I wouldn't.

Could you introduce me to one of those Hemsworth brothers instead?

[sally]

Unless you're over in Haiti or somewhere watching your child starve to death I don't think you have any business telling anyone to check their privilege.

[Duchess]

Unless you're over in Haiti or somewhere watching your child starve to death I don't think you have any business telling anyone to check their privilege.

Have you heard that expression before?

I'm so uncool. I still have to use the Urban Dictionary.

[sally]

Unless you're over in Haiti or somewhere watching your child starve to death I don't think you have any business telling anyone to check their privilege.

Have you heard that expression before?

I'm so uncool. I still have to use the Urban Dictionary.

This is the first I've heard it, but I take it to mean that if you're not a minority, gay or a woman (basically anything other than a straight white male) then you have no idea how tough it is out there and it's offensive for you to think that you do.

My husband is a straight white male who came to this country at 14 and was left here with a jar of pennies and not knowing a lick of English. He did live with some people as a foreign exchange student, but as soon as they found out that his father had no intentions of sending them money to support him they got pissed and he had to get a job after school working illegally as a dishwasher. If anyone told him now to check his privilege that would be a joke.

Well unless it's with online gaming. Maybe men do have a definite advantage over women when it comes to that. Not sure.

[aussiefriend]

Duch, you realise I could never introduce you to Oprah after saying that I mean you would put me in an awkward position "this is my friend Duchess of Mock, she just a middle class cracker".

It's okay, honey, even if I had a big fat horn to toot, I wouldn't.

Could you introduce me to one of those Hemsworth brothers instead?

I don't think those boys are all that, you're just bedazzled by the accent, or as FU would say your just bedazzled by the accent.

[Duchess]

you're just bedazzled by the accent

I don't know, doll, I'm not giving much thought to his accent right now.

[Love Child]

You had to look up "check your privilege" I had to look up the Hensworth brothers! The latter was a much better search imo!

[Duchess]

I think I probably have white privilege. Yeah. *nods*

[Love Child]

Do you say that in jest or actually?

I was thinking about Blindgreed's thread about victim blaming or shaming-and he and most males have privilege, but then again so do we as females right? We can probably get away with some things men cannot. And how about privilege blacks may have that we do not, or those who get special privileges based on their skin color when it comes to applying for colleges? In some aspects the white male might have lost out on that. And in my case I felt like because I didn't have 5 kids and a drug problem I didn't get special benefits either. (Seriously-there are school benefits for those recovering from drug abuse and who have kids-what about those who chose not to do those things?)

BUT-I do not believe I have had to go through things that someone with black skin has gone through. However I don't think anger and having those that haven't gone through these things feel guilt is the answer. I think there must be a better way and solution, but is that just my privilege speaking and I don't know any better?

The best readings I have found so far are from Eckhart Tolle when he talks about pain bodies in his "New Earth" book. He talks about how many countries have a cultural pain body that they feel-a collective pain or trauma that is hung on to; Native Americans, Jews, blacks, Vietnamese the list goes on from any country that has had trauma.

Sorry, I got carried away.

[Duchess]

Do you say that in jest or actually?

I was sincere. I think I'm probably more privileged than blacks and homely women. I wasn't going to add that last part, it sounds snotty even though that's not my intention.

[Duchess]

Sorry, I got carried away.

Don't ever apologize for being wordy, it's not necessary. I like reading your opinion.

[Love Child]

Do you say that in jest or actually?

I was sincere. I think I'm probably more privileged than blacks and homely women. I wasn't going to add that last part, it sounds snotty even though that's not my intention.

Thanks on both comments, this one and the other one about being wordy.
And as far as sounding snotty, well I think we all need a safe place to talk about these things, and to me this feels like a safe place to work out these kind of tough issues, even though I wonder how diverse Mock is............BUT in another sense it isn't important to me, but to someone else it might be.

[Duchess]

I think the only way Mock is diverse is in age. It spans the spectrum, from 20's to 80's.

[cannongal]

I think I probably have white privilege. Yeah. *nods*

You don't say?

There's a reason the sign on the bank door says "remove hats, sunglasses, and hoods before entering".

Yup, it's there. I've never removed my sunglasses, taken my hat off or pushed my hoodie back. The day they personally request that to me will be the day I remove every last dime from that fuckin' bank and they won't be too damn happy when I ask my man to do the same. You might be willing to tolerate that but I'm not. NO ONE tells me what I can wear. They'll never say that to my face, CG because I'm pretty & I'm white, they wouldn't dare.

[Duchess]

*flexes*

[Carsman]

Unfortunately "privilege" is a fact, whether we like it or not.
IMO, privilege is achieved by birth right, great wealth, astounding beauty, and even an amazing personality can open many doors. (Wish I had any one of those)

(Sadly, many with privilege are snobs)