RE: the 2018 trivial drivel thread

[JsMom]

HI assholes! How in the hell are ya? Happy New Year!

Well, how is life treating YOU? Both my kids got on the honor roll, Saxophone practice has become tolerable, I paid off my house and now I'm building stuff in my workshop. The Superbowl is right around the corner and braised shrimp and Sam Adams is on the menu. I'm getting laid once or twice a week and my doctor says I may die at any given moment. Finger painting with old paint, homemade frames and old bedsheets is fun but how are you?

Wow! Maggott, it sure sounds like you've been a busy beaver. I bet your frames are beautiful. As for me, im in a new relationship and im very happy. I now have 5 children. Ages range from 19-8. So lets just say, they keep me busy. Im still working at the family car lot. I'd say things are pretty well on my end. My parents on the other hand, im starting to worry about. Im the only child here with them so soon i'll be taking on that job. Oh, and about the Super Bowl.... Go Eagles!

[Maggot]

I'm listening to Andy Williams greatest hits. I got it for Christmas and it relaxes me not sure what singer today could do the same thing. I don't usually listen to Andy and he's a good distraction for the new stuff today.

[Duchess]

Leave the groundhogs alone, all you dumbass city slickers. You haven't a clue.

[Maggot]

You have to pick them off with a .22 when they stick their heads out not pick them up and let them freakin bite you. Geez!

[BigMark]

Holy fuck it's a groundhog, a stick should suffice.

[Duchess]

One of the dumbest traditions ever. I don't even know why someone who lives in a town or city would even give a shit about a groundhog. I fuckin' hate people.

[sally]

I've never even seen a groundhog in person. If I did I'd pick it up and cuddle the little guy.

[sally]

Actually it's chipmunks I was thinking about, not groundhogs. They're adorable, but we don't see them here either. All we have are a bunch of raggedy ass looking squirrels.

[Duchess]

Back home they call 'em woodchucks. They are in the squirrel family and most people loathe them, particularly farmers because they leave holes in fields. They are here on the farm but have never caused a problem in the fields. I once thought I had one around the house but it was a freakin' beaver popping up out of the drains I have around the patios.

[Love Child]

We have marmots, and they whistle.

[Carsman]

.
We have a lot of wolves around here, and they "wolf whistle".

[Duchess]

I read this comment - "ESPN's Samantha Ponder balances pregnancy with Super Bowl coverage". Are you kiddin' me. Jesus. It was presented in such a way as to imply women would have difficulty doing both. Ugh. It was written by a man.

[Duchess]

I'm afraid of dying.

[Maggot]

One of the dumbest traditions ever. I don't even know why someone who lives in a town or city would even give a shit about a groundhog. I fuckin' hate people.

I feel the same way about that stupid Hallmark card created mess called Valentines day.

[Duchess]

I feel the same way about that stupid Hallmark card created mess called Valentines day.

*high five* Good call. I don't celebrate it.

[Midwest Spy]

I'm afraid of dying.

Sally says she’s not.

You should talk to her about why she’s so calm and at ease with dying.

[Love Child]

I'm afraid of dying.

What is the most scary part to think about?

[sally]

Never seeing your family again, eternal damnation, burning in agonizing pain for eternity because you did dirty deeds?

[BigMark]

Are you kidding me, my whole family will be there !

[Donovan]

What kills me is that people will deny fucking scientific data from literally hundreds of science and climatology experts, but accept weather advice and forecasts from a goddamn ground rat.