Momster Wrote:Sinister Wrote:ramseycat Wrote:But I agree with Duchess that an affair is a whole different thing from a one night stand. See, that's where I change tactics; if they fucked around once, they will fuck around again, it doesn't matter if it was a meaningful thing or a one-night bullshit stand; there is a reason they went in search somewhere else whether it was once or 100 times and I want to know what the fuck it was! ::wait:: I agree. But I think when the word "Affair" pops into my mind, and emotional attachment is made. One night stand is straight up fucking. But that doesn't matter; why isn't he here fucking me? A one-night stand may hold even more meaning to me than an affair, really. Think about it; why would your husband go to some other broad for a one-night fling? As it has never happened to me, I can't say but IMO, it's six of one, half a dozen of the other; an affair or a one-night stand.
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Sinister Wrote:ramseycat Wrote:But I agree with Duchess that an affair is a whole different thing from a one night stand. See, that's where I change tactics; if they fucked around once, they will fuck around again, it doesn't matter if it was a meaningful thing or a one-night bullshit stand; there is a reason they went in search somewhere else whether it was once or 100 times and I want to know what the fuck it was! ::wait::
I agee to a point. But there are people that make a mistake one time and that is it. I know a guy that continuously cheats on his wife and I am not sure why really. Maybe he just like variety. I know another guy that would cheat on his wife given the chance but he gets no sex at home. There are many reasons why people do the things they do. I don't think that we can boil it down to 3 or 4 reasons why someone cheats.
If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that a lot easier than an affair. If he cheated for a length of time and had a full relationsip with another woman, that would tear me apart. I think I would also rather he did have a one night stand than an emotional affair with another women but didn't have sex. Sex for men can be such a basic thing. They fuck someone just for the physical pleasure but it has nothing to do with how they feel about them or their wife.
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ramseycat Wrote:[color="yellow"]If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that[/color]
what????????????????????????????????????????????
that is ridiculous and makes you sound like a dumb slut
ramseycat Wrote:I agee to a point. But there are people that make a mistake one time and that is it. I know a guy that continuously cheats on his wife and I am not sure why really. Maybe he just like variety. I know another guy that would cheat on his wife given the chance but he gets no sex at home. There are many reasons why people do the things they do. I don't think that we can boil it down to 3 or 4 reasons why someone cheats.
If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that a lot easier than an affair. If he cheated for a length of time and had a full relationsip with another woman, that would tear me apart. I think I would also rather he did have a one night stand than an emotional affair with another women but didn't have sex. Sex for men can be such a basic thing. They fuck someone just for the physical pleasure but it has nothing to do with how they feel about them or their wife. Ramsey's reply is a perfect example of how men and women see sex differently; women have this emotional attachment to sex, where men think of it as a purely physical act. Men are visual and physical and woman are more long-term and emotionalthinking. For women, the act of sex - usually - is a totallyemotional thing. For men, it is simply getting their rocks off and nothing more. To women, it is a true violation of our realtionship; to men, it is simply getting off without having to beat off.
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Liquid Wrote:ramseycat Wrote:If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that
what????????????????????????????????????????????
that is ridiculous and makes you sound like a dumb slut Shaddup yea idiot! I meant that I could handle that better than if he had an affair. It's not like I would say that's ok honey. We all make mistakes. I would be devastated. Trust would be gone. And I can't say I would ever be able to forgive him and stay in the marriage. But if he had an affair, I know for sure that I wouldn't ever be able to stay.
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Sinister Wrote:ramseycat Wrote:I agee to a point. But there are people that make a mistake one time and that is it. I know a guy that continuously cheats on his wife and I am not sure why really. Maybe he just like variety. I know another guy that would cheat on his wife given the chance but he gets no sex at home. There are many reasons why people do the things they do. I don't think that we can boil it down to 3 or 4 reasons why someone cheats.
If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that a lot easier than an affair. If he cheated for a length of time and had a full relationsip with another woman, that would tear me apart. I think I would also rather he did have a one night stand than an emotional affair with another women but didn't have sex. Sex for men can be such a basic thing. They fuck someone just for the physical pleasure but it has nothing to do with how they feel about them or their wife. Ramsey's reply is a perfect example of how men and women see sex differently; women have this emotional attachment to sex, where men think of it as a purely physical act. Men are visual and physical and woman are more long-term and emotionalthinking. For women, the act of sex - usually - is a totallyemotional thing. For men, it is simply getting their rocks off and nothing more. To women, it is a true violation of our realtionship; to men, it is simply getting off without having to beat off.
Exactly. Men and women view sex totally different. I think that more women will forgive a man for cheating than the other way around.
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ramseycat Wrote:Exactly. Men and women view sex totally different. I think that more women will forgive a man for cheating than the other way around.
Fuckin-A.....I am living proof of that sentiment.
Yes, yes, Bullet was married when I first met him. So now it's all out there; he was mmarried when I met him and is in prison for 2 nd degree murder. Now you have plenty to come at him with when he gets here!! ::bigg:: ::thumbs:: Have fun with that......
Anyhoo..... When women and men start seeing sex the same way, there will be far fewer divorces, methinks. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!!
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ramseycat Wrote:Liquid Wrote:ramseycat Wrote:[color="yellow"]If my husband or BF got hammered one night and cheated, I could live with that[/color]
what????????????????????????????????????????????
that is ridiculous and makes you sound like a dumb slut Shaddup yea idiot!
I could never respect a woman that would "live with that," nor would I ever want one that has that standard because it opens the door to her doing it too much for my taste.
Everything about you, Ramsey, is mediocre, sloppy, and weak. Sad.
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If you read the whole thing you would see that I could live with that a lot easier than having an affair. I am not saying I would say oh that's ok honey. I am just saying that I would be more heartbroken if he was involved with another women or loved another women vs just fucking a girl one time.
And since I have never been cheated on, it's difficult to say what I would or wouldn't do. No one can unless you have been in that situation.
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Ramsey, now you're entering a whole different arena; if he loves her. There is fucking around, there are affairs, there are one-night stands. When it comes to a significant other actually caring for the bimbo he is fucking, it's a whole new ballgame.
That's when you break out the throwing stars and the .50 calibur. ::gunner::
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My husband would be the first to know if I ever decided to cheat and vice versa. I couldn't cheat and live with myself and I don't think he could either. If we were that miserable that we had to look somewhere else then it would be known before it even happened. We don't put ourselves in situations where having an affair or a one night stand would even be likely to happen.
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Sinister Wrote:Ramsey, now you're entering a whole different arena; if he loves her. There is fucking around, there are affairs, there are one-night stands. When it comes to a significant other actually caring for the bimbo he is fucking, it's a whole new ballgame.
That's when you break out the throwing stars and the .50 calibur. ::gunner::
It is one of those topics that there just isn't any simple answer. I think if a man is screwing around with a another woman for quite awhile, he would start to develop feelings for her. He may not be in love with her, but it's more than just a fuck. I don't know. It's so easy to say if my husband/wife ever cheated on me, that would be it. End of story. But when you are in that situation, it isn't so easy to just say fuck it and walk away. Especially if there are kids in the mix.
Question for the guys - If your wife or girlfriend did cheat on you, would that be it?
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[user=88]ramseycat[/user] wrote:
Quote:It is one of those topics that there just isn't any simple answer.
No, it's real simple Ramsey. If you are with someone that you love and they love you, then there is no excuse for them to stick their genitals in the fruits of another .
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sally Wrote:[user=88]ramseycat[/user] wrote:
Quote:It is one of those topics that there just isn't any simple answer.
No, it's real simple Ramsey. If you are with someone that you love and they love you, then there is no excuse for them to stick their genitals in the fruits of another . That's not what I meant. I mean there is no easy answer for the person that was cheated on. Do they leave? Stay and forgive? It's easy to judge when you are not in that person shoes. I am in no way condoning cheating for any reason. While I might be able to understand a person's reason for doing so. It doesn't excuse it or make it right.
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I figure it comes down to what your mutual expectations of each other were in the first place... If you are the type of people that can function without problems in an open relationship, you set your ground rules. If you are the manogomus type, you make a promise to each other. Either way, there is a trust between you that the line won't be crossed.
Some people can live with the other person crossing the line because the pain of walking away far greater outweighs the pain of the abused trust. Some people can just say 'Fuck you'.
The thing that shits me is when people say crap like 'I didn't mean to, it just happened' or 'it was an accident'... Bullshit! Fuck off with that lame excuse... how do you accidentally put your dick in someone?
To the question; I don't think I could answer until I was in the position.
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Ok, to anwer Ramseyas best I can; there is no easy answer, as you said. But there is the difference between the way men see sex and the way women do. What is meaningful to us women is not meaningful to men and until you and I think the way men do, we will never "get" it.
If a man is having serious feelings for the twit be is banging, something has to happen, like it did for Bullet and me. Nope, I won't get into any more detail on that topic.
By the way; I waited 35 years to get married and am very happy that I chose to wait, even with the current clusterfuck we are dealing with. I love Bullet and nothing will change that.
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ramseycat Wrote:If you read the whole thing you would see that I could live with that a lot easier than having an affair.
The fact that you could live with it at all justifies my comments.
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I never said I would live with it. I stated several times that having not actually been in that position, I don't know what I would do.
You are very touchy on this subject MF. Have you been cheated on before?
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Sinister Wrote:Ok, to anwer Ramseyas best I can; there is no easy answer, as you said. But there is the difference between the way men see sex and the way women do. What is meaningful to us women is not meaningful to men and until you and I think the way men do, we will never "get" it.
If a man is having serious feelings for the twit be is banging, something has to happen, like it did for Bullet and me. Nope, I won't get into any more detail on that topic.
By the way; I waited 35 years to get married and am very happy that I chose to wait, even with the current clusterfuck we are dealing with. I love Bullet and nothing will change that. I hate when you throw something out there and then say I am not going to get into any more detail on that topic. ::irk::
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ramseycat Wrote:Sinister Wrote:Ok, to anwer Ramseyas best I can; there is no easy answer, as you said. But there is the difference between the way men see sex and the way women do. What is meaningful to us women is not meaningful to men and until you and I think the way men do, we will never "get" it.
If a man is having serious feelings for the twit be is banging, something has to happen, like it did for Bullet and me. Nope, I won't get into any more detail on that topic.
By the way; I waited 35 years to get married and am very happy that I chose to wait, even with the current clusterfuck we are dealing with. I love Bullet and nothing will change that. I hate when you throw something out there and then say I am not going to get into any more detail on that topic. ::irk:: So PM her, retard.No one else gives a shit.
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