paraphimosis

[MirahM]

Okay I know I am putting this in the "Funny Shit" forum, but it is all I can do to laugh.

I am pet sitting a couple of terriers and the male terrier humps the toys. With the exception of growing up around animals, I've never personally owned a dog before. I am more a cat person.
So Choppy, the male dog is humping away at the toy, which at first I found to be funny, but then disturbing.

AND THEN HIS FUCKING PENIS WAS STUCK. I saw the red dangling doggy penis hanging down and I was like, "WTF How long does it take for that to go back in" So I looked it up and found the term: Paraphimosis-the condition of a dog's penis being stuck out.
The article said it can sometimes get stuck due to being irritated, or from long fur surrounding the area or whatever. AND THEN THE ARTICLE TOLD ME HOW TO GET THE PENIS BACK INTO ITS SHEATH AND IF IT IS OUT TOO LONG TO CALL THE VET.
FUCK
No
Not on my watch! Not tonight! No Way!

Thankfully by the time I went to get my head lamp the doggy penis had retained its normal position.
THANK GOD!
I was going to demand extra $
Seriously
WTF
I never want to watch a tiny dog again.

The article actually said to discourage humping of toys and things. I DID NOT FUCKING KNOW. This is the first night I have had to use the water bottle. Poor doggies. Thier humans come home tomorrow. 

https://www.prouddogmom.com/dogs-penis-stuck/

[cannongal]

My dog humped a plastic goat once.  It was a big scandal in the neighborhood,  and ended with an old man in pajama pants standing on his front porch yelling 'get off my lawn' 

I am scarred for life....

[BigMark]

it's not baaaaaaad.

[MirahM]

Dude,
This was bad

[MirahM]

Here is Choppo

That thing was almost down to his toes and as thick as his leg. 

[HairOfTheDog]

Choppo is one cute little perv.

[MirahM]

Yeah, they are cute. Here are both of them together. Choppo and Noe. /no e/

[Duchess]

AND THEN HIS FUCKING PENIS WAS STUCK.