The man should pay....

[cannongal]

A few years after I divorced my first husband,  I started dating.   The first guy that asked me out,  said the date would be dinner at his house,  then a movie at the theater.   Dinner was awesome,  he was a chef by trade, and we had some baked salmon dish.  We got to the theater  (I rode with him, as I met him at his house for dinner)  he walked up to the booth and said "1 please".   I was totally confused,  but bought my own ticket,  and enjoyed the movie.

I met my current husband through an internet dating site (yes, they had those 25 years ago)   Before we met for the first time,   we were exchanging emails,  making plans to meet for coffee,  and he said:  'I want to get one thing straight,  I believe the man should pay.' 


The subject was brought up recently by a friend of mine,   she was annoyed that her boyfriend paid all the time.   She said  she didn't think he respected her as a woman because of it.


Do you believe the man should pay?  Should it be equal,  or should the asker pay?  

I always thought the asker should pay  (like if I invited my husband on a date,  I would take care of the expenses of the date)

[Duchess]

Whomever asks, pays.

[MirahM]

Asker.
I've been in both type of scenarios and just go with it. And I certainly dont feel disrespected if someone pays.

[sally]

The proper etiquette is that the asker should be prepared to pay. If some guy I just met invited me out on a date and then expected me to pay half I would think that is weird. The ways it works is the asker pays, the askee offers to pay half out of politeness and the asker says "that ok, I got it" or "you can get the next one". Something along those lines. And vice versa if I asked some guy out on a date, which I would never do.

[GirlBoss]

Agree with all of you, asker pays.

Often I’ll offer to contribute and 90% of the time they’ll say thanks, not necessary.

If I have an event that’s pricey and invite someone, I’ll pay. Usually they will offer to contribute.

Cannongirl- you dodged a bullet there - could have made it much less awkward if he just let you know about movie ticket plan before you’re in line hearing him buy one. I would have considered not following him in lol - not mad about the $$ but the lack of being able to communicate, just do his own agenda.

[MirahM]

Yeah that was totally wierd. I had something like that happen to me also. I was fine w/ it but just wish they would have let me know before asking me.

[Carsman]

The inviter pays. ( you’re inviting that person(s) )

[cannongal]

Agree with all of you, asker pays.

Often I’ll offer to contribute and 90% of the time they’ll say thanks, not necessary.

If I have an event that’s pricey and invite someone, I’ll pay. Usually they will offer to contribute.

Cannongirl- you dodged a bullet there - could have made it much less awkward if he just let you know about movie ticket plan before you’re in line hearing him buy one. I would have considered not following him in lol - not mad about the $$ but the lack of being able to communicate, just do his own agenda.

I don't necessarily think I dodged a bullet.   He's a guy that I went to high school with,  and am still friends with.    I was just confused because he invited me to dinner and a movie.   I was actually glad I had some cash on me at the time,  it would have been way too embarrassing to ask for the keys to the car, so I could go sit in it while he watched the movie. 

[Duchess]

  he walked up to the booth and said "1 please".   I was totally confused,  but bought my own ticket,  and enjoyed the movie.

This annoys me, like it's my business.   The invite was dinner & a movie and he should have asked for 2, please. It would have been a true WTF moment for me and I don't think I would have handled it in a gracious manner.

[cannongal]

I found out after the fact,  that while I thought of it as 'a date',  he thought of it as '2 friends going to a movie ',  and didn't realize he was expected to pay.   No biggie,  the Movie was 'Chicago ', and it introduced me to Jazz music.

[MirahM]

I love that movie.

[BigMark]

you have to pay to roll out the popcorn trick.