Tales from the Frontline: Online Dating

[rothschild]

How else are you going to avoid offending people?

You can't avoid offending people no matter how many showers you take or deodorant you spray on. Most people can find the flimsiest excuse to be offended.

I get upset with myself when I'm offended. I like to keep my ego in check, but that's easier said than done.

[MirahM]

How else are you going to avoid offending people?

I wasn't sure if that question was to Clang or myself.

[MirahM]

Tonight I found myself crushing on a couple. A COUPLE! I want to be thier dessert, and then I want to have them for dessert.

@MArk I would maybe probably sleep w/ this guy if he didn't live right next to where I work. It is too akward for me and I can't really handle the casual sex in my life like that any more. Not that I handled it a whole bunch before, it was just easier once upon time.

I ask myself if I would sleep w/ him if he lived elsewhere-and I don't know the answer to that. I think there is something I don't find attractive and maybe I am holding out for a long term relationship. EVEN IF IT IS WITH A COUPLE!

I am complicated. I know.

[BigMark]

Back to the frisbee, that poor moon.

[rothschild]

Fuck or be fucked.

[Duchess]

 EVEN IF IT IS WITH A COUPLE!

Don't do it. Nonono. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

[BigMark]

Crack up was changs stage name!

[Clang McFly]

How else are you going to avoid offending people?

I wasn't sure if that question was to Clang or myself.

I think it was directed at you, but I decided to answer it anyway.

[Clang McFly]

Crack up was changs stage name!

Sadly people demanded a refund when I pulled out my ugly cracked up feet.

[BigMark]

Youve got three feet of crack.

[Duchess]

 my ugly cracked up feet.

You should consider treating yourself to a pedicure. One of those little Asian ladies will take good care of you. You'll love it and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Your feet don't have to be ugly & cracked and a pedicure will feel ah-mazing.

[sally]

I always see men in there getting pedicures when I get mine done.

[BigMark]

The best massages are like good books.

[Clang McFly]

 my ugly cracked up feet.

You should consider treating yourself to a pedicure. One of those little Asian ladies will take good care of you. You'll love it and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. Your feet don't have to be ugly & cracked and a pedicure will feel ah-mazing.

My feet also have the nail fungus. And my toes are all crooked, discolored and nearly numb. I need a foot doctor not a pedicure.

I've had bad feet all my life. When I was a kid  I wanted to volunteer at Church for their foot washing ritual they do around Easter and my own mother foot shamed me.

[BigMark]

Dem be curb critter feet homie.

[Clang McFly]

Dem be curb critter feet homie.

Shrek has better feet than me.

[MirahM]

 EVEN IF IT IS WITH A COUPLE!

Don't do it. Nonono. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

WEll I doubt I couldn't find a couple that wasn't bat shit crazy anyway. That one girl started messaging me again, the one that wanted me to be her and her husband's plaything. I don't want to go down that road with them. At all. 
I wonder if I could find the right couple that I could just have the experience with once or twice and then be done.

And why do you say that? Do you speak from expereience???

[BigMark]

Dem be curb critter feet homie.

Shrek has better feet than me.

Shrek is offended.

[Duchess]

And why do you say that? Do you speak from expereience???

Yes. I did it twice. If the first time would have sucked I never would have been game for a second time.

[Clang McFly]

Dem be curb critter feet homie.

Shrek has better feet than me.

Shrek is offended.

Shrek is offensive. But that's what happens you bathe in swamp water and get beat with the ugly stick. In my case the ugly stick was a wooden spoon.