Tales from the Frontline: Online Dating

[GirlBoss]

Ok so jumping in——
Day 1 : 55 mofos. 
Most gross.
A lot of super young ins with MILF fever - oh jeezus I have kids haha
Some interesting ( I’ll give them pretend names)
1. Greg. Wanted to call me right away. Successful. Kids similar age. Back- handed compliment on my pics cause I only post non-posed stuff - not trying to attract that!- made me laugh. Couldn’t stop mansplaining on phone cause quote “he liked me” lol. My take: wound too tight to handle me. Groan. 
2. Alan: Commercial Realtor. Seems real cool until 10 texts in telling me he’s really nice just wants me to wear pantyhose ALL the time and call him Daddy. Ummmmmmmm
3. Neil: now in FL for 2 weeks- ex-Narcc undercover now in diff career field. Interesting but away.
4. Tom.  Trying to set up Fri date
5. Erik.  Met him for drink tonight. Yikes he’s cute. Super dimple on right side - college football coach with swag. So much chemistry but- his ex died! So worried about that-  cannot ever compare to that. Anyway he took me for drinks. And it was easy- chemistry  a ton. But still regardless of being grown ass adult I sent him home after. I mean whoaaaa slow down Trigger lol.
6. Mike: Super cute touring comedian.  But hmmm. Sent me videos of his act and he’s kinda bigger than it seemed- but he’s a really good comedian. Pretty impressive.
7. Evan:ER doc. Mostly cool. A little awkward I think/ but sometimes hard to tell via text.

Who should I keep/explore further vs ditch like right now??? Please help me Mock fam.

[Clang McFly]

Erik or Mike.

[Carsman]

Ok so jumping in——
Day 1 : 55 mofos. 
Most gross.
A lot of super young ins with MILF fever - oh jeezus I have kids haha
Some interesting ( I’ll give them pretend names)
1. Greg. Wanted to call me right away. Successful. Kids similar age. Back- handed compliment on my pics cause I only post non-posed stuff - not trying to attract that!- made me laugh. Couldn’t stop mansplaining on phone cause quote “he liked me” lol. My take: wound too tight to handle me. Groan. 
2. Alan: Commercial Realtor. Seems real cool until 10 texts in telling me he’s really nice just wants me to wear pantyhose ALL the time and call him Daddy. Ummmmmmmm
3. Neil: now in FL for 2 weeks- ex-Narcc undercover now in diff career field. Interesting but away.
4. Tom.  Trying to set up Fri date
5. Erik.  Met him for drink tonight. Yikes he’s cute. Super dimple on right side - college football coach with swag. So much chemistry but- his ex died! So worried about that-  cannot ever compare to that. Anyway he took me for drinks. And it was easy- chemistry  a ton. But still regardless of being grown ass adult I sent him home after. I mean whoaaaa slow down Trigger lol.
6. Mike: Super cute touring comedian.  But hmmm. Sent me videos of his act and he’s kinda bigger than it seemed- but he’s a really good comedian. Pretty impressive.
7. Evan:ER doc. Mostly cool. A little awkward I think/ but sometimes hard to tell via text.

Who should I keep/explore further vs ditch like right now??? Please help me Mock fam.

Was going to say Evan, but then thought ER Doc, they work all kinds of crazy long hours and rotating shifts. 
Mike is really a good comedian, if he gets lucky and hits the “big time” it would be nice to hook up with a celebrity. (Spoken like a concerned momma.   ) 

[MirahM]

Ok so jumping in——
Day 1 : 55 mofos. 
Most gross.
A lot of super young ins with MILF fever - oh jeezus I have kids haha
Some interesting ( I’ll give them pretend names)
1. Greg. Wanted to call me right away. Successful. Kids similar age. Back- handed compliment on my pics cause I only post non-posed stuff - not trying to attract that!- made me laugh. Couldn’t stop mansplaining on phone cause quote “he liked me” lol. My take: wound too tight to handle me. Groan. 
2. Alan: Commercial Realtor. Seems real cool until 10 texts in telling me he’s really nice just wants me to wear pantyhose ALL the time and call him Daddy. Ummmmmmmm
3. Neil: now in FL for 2 weeks- ex-Narcc undercover now in diff career field. Interesting but away.
4. Tom.  Trying to set up Fri date
5. Erik.  Met him for drink tonight. Yikes he’s cute. Super dimple on right side - college football coach with swag. So much chemistry but- his ex died! So worried about that-  cannot ever compare to that. Anyway he took me for drinks. And it was easy- chemistry  a ton. But still regardless of being grown ass adult I sent him home after. I mean whoaaaa slow down Trigger lol.
6. Mike: Super cute touring comedian.  But hmmm. Sent me videos of his act and he’s kinda bigger than it seemed- but he’s a really good comedian. Pretty impressive.
7. Evan:ER doc. Mostly cool. A little awkward I think/ but sometimes hard to tell via text.

Who should I keep/explore further vs ditch like right now??? Please help me Mock fam.

OMG I want to know more about the comedian! That is fun! But you might end up in his act someday.
I would meet the ER doc.
Erik is my favorite so far.
Tom?
Neil: At first I wanted to say, "Yeah, cool" But then I was like "Really undercover Narc, and currently away....I wonder what his new career is. Is he a famous politician?!
Alan and Greg: no no no

[Duchess]

Tales from the frontline.   Love the title.

Alan is a hard no.

I'm not a good one to give dating advice.

[Piglet]

What does your gut or intuition say? That guides me all the time, and when i ignore it i always regret it. I would go for the healthiest mentally, with boundaries, morals and calmness, drama is an instant rejection. A poor me attitude gets booted. Use your intuition amongst those.

Narcissits will be well disguised, look up the things to look for and tests, i cant remember what they are, its on youtube. A stitch in time saves nine, if your out for a good bonk then go for it, but dont expect long term from that.

Things that take time to achieve are valued. Value yourself.

[sally]

Just be careful. People are nuts, you don't want to wake up in a bathtub missing a kidney.

[BigMark]

The one with the biggest dick, duh!

[rothschild]

Biggus Dickus.

[cannongal]

Ok so jumping in——
Day 1 : 55 mofos. 
Most gross.
A lot of super young ins with MILF fever - oh jeezus I have kids haha
Some interesting ( I’ll give them pretend names)
1. Greg. Wanted to call me right away. Successful. Kids similar age. Back- handed compliment on my pics cause I only post non-posed stuff - not trying to attract that!- made me laugh. Couldn’t stop mansplaining on phone cause quote “he liked me” lol. My take: wound too tight to handle me. Groan. 
2. Alan: Commercial Realtor. Seems real cool until 10 texts in telling me he’s really nice just wants me to wear pantyhose ALL the time and call him Daddy. Ummmmmmmm
3. Neil: now in FL for 2 weeks- ex-Narcc undercover now in diff career field. Interesting but away.
4. Tom.  Trying to set up Fri date
5. Erik.  Met him for drink tonight. Yikes he’s cute. Super dimple on right side - college football coach with swag. So much chemistry but- his ex died! So worried about that-  cannot ever compare to that. Anyway he took me for drinks. And it was easy- chemistry  a ton. But still regardless of being grown ass adult I sent him home after. I mean whoaaaa slow down Trigger lol.
6. Mike: Super cute touring comedian.  But hmmm. Sent me videos of his act and he’s kinda bigger than it seemed- but he’s a really good comedian. Pretty impressive.
7. Evan:ER doc. Mostly cool. A little awkward I think/ but sometimes hard to tell via text.

Who should I keep/explore further vs ditch like right now??? Please help me Mock fam.

1. Nah, guys with kids who try to mansplain, will also try to tell you how to parent your goblins.

2.  Pantyhose are so last year,   I hear that hairy legs are the new pantyhose. 

3. Ex narcs are suspicious of everything.   He'll try to analyze your baking products.

4.  Is tom willing to pay for the date?  

5.  Will call out his dead wife's name during sex, and cry afterwards. 

6.  The camera always adds extra pounds. 

7.  Pick him- works long hours, too tired for sex, and kids get into a lot of accidents,  so you'll save money on doctor bills.

[GirlBoss]

Hahaha such great advice - all of you.
This is awesome. Thank you. Reading and re-reading all of your thoughts.

Stay tuned: dinner with ER doc tonight.

So far have no idea on dick size for any.

[Clang McFly]

2.  Pantyhose are so last year,   I hear that hairy legs are the new pantyhose. 

Hairy legs are the new pantyhose for Italian and Eastern European women. Me, I like a women who wears pantyhose and doesn't mind that I also occasionally wear pantyhose.

[GirlBoss]

2.  Pantyhose are so last year,   I hear that hairy legs are the new pantyhose. 

Hairy legs are the new pantyhose for Italian and Eastern European women. Me, I like a women who wears pantyhose and doesn't mind that I also occasionally wear pantyhose.

Maybe I can connect you with Alan! #callhimDaddy

[GirlBoss]

Date with the Doc night:

Reservations at really nice restaurant.
Initial impression: nice looking, dressed nice, warm hello
Awkward chitchat while we waited but that was probably me - it’s a little nerve-wracking.
Hostess called us for table reservation - and she said table for two for Dr. Such-and-such. For some reason I didn’t like it - unnecessary flex? Like ok I get it you’re a Dr.
Dinner was fantastic, convo ok mostly, a little quirky about what I was going to order and how healthy or not it may be - strongly suggested seafood. So of course, I immediately didn’t want to order seafood. And didn’t.
He ordered dessert. Lol. Moments were nice. Thinking I think he seems to like me ok despite my non-seafood choice and hmmm maybe just need more time to get to know him. On the fence.
Then when they were bringing bill he said - I have a surprise for you but it’s in my car right outside. After weighing chances of being abducted and killed - I said ok but I needed to let my sis know because I’m sharing my location with her and she’ll wonder what’s up when I leave and don’t call immediately.
So go to car, and he gets out a saxophone and tells me he wants to play me a song. ( omg I am trying so hard not to crack up - internal dialogue- I got this - I can handle this public sax serenade post first date.) Hahaha
Then to top it off he says ( wait for it)….I just started taking lessons.
And starts playing very proudly. And very ummm squeaky then a note squeak note etc.
stopped playing and said guess the song!! ( ummmmmmm lol lol I’m dying like wtf do I say)
I made some guess like Georgia On My Mind haha
He said think holidays and “played” some more - I said Auld Lang Syne? My face definitely turned red by this point.
Ding ding ding. I was right. Then he went back squeak-note-ing until I guess the song was over.
He was really really really proud of himself.
I didn’t know what to do so I kind of applauded,thanked him and said good night.
Yeah so that just happened.
I cannot stop laughing.

[sally]

Are all of these guys white?

[Clang McFly]

2.  Pantyhose are so last year,   I hear that hairy legs are the new pantyhose. 

Hairy legs are the new pantyhose for Italian and Eastern European women. Me, I like a women who wears pantyhose and doesn't mind that I also occasionally wear pantyhose.

Maybe I can connect you with Alan! #callhimDaddy

Maybe I can catfish Alan for shits and giggles. Send him pics of my legs in pantyhose and then months later reveal that I'm actually a guy.

[cannongal]

Date with the Doc night:

Reservations at really nice restaurant.
Initial impression: nice looking, dressed nice, warm hello
Awkward chitchat while we waited but that was probably me - it’s a little nerve-wracking.
Hostess called us for table reservation - and she said table for two for Dr. Such-and-such. For some reason I didn’t like it - unnecessary flex? Like ok I get it you’re a Dr.
Dinner was fantastic, convo ok mostly, a little quirky about what I was going to order and how healthy or not it may be - strongly suggested seafood. So of course, I immediately didn’t want to order seafood. And didn’t.
He ordered dessert. Lol. Moments were nice. Thinking I think he seems to like me ok despite my non-seafood choice and hmmm maybe just need more time to get to know him. On the fence.
Then when they were bringing bill he said - I have a surprise for you but it’s in my car right outside. After weighing chances of being abducted and killed - I said ok but I needed to let my sis know because I’m sharing my location with her and she’ll wonder what’s up when I leave and don’t call immediately.
So go to car, and he gets out a saxophone and tells me he wants to play me a song. ( omg I am trying so hard not to crack up - internal dialogue- I got this - I can handle this public sax serenade post first date.) Hahaha
Then to top it off he says ( wait for it)….I just started taking lessons.
And starts playing very proudly. And very ummm squeaky then a note squeak note etc.
stopped playing and said guess the song!! ( ummmmmmm lol lol I’m dying like wtf do I say)
I made some guess like Georgia On My Mind haha
He said think holidays and “played” some more - I said Auld Lang Syne? My face definitely turned red by this point.
Ding ding ding. I was right. Then he went back squeak-note-ing until I guess the song was over.
He was really really really proud of himself.
I didn’t know what to do so I kind of applauded,thanked him and said good night.
Yeah so that just happened.
I cannot stop laughing.

I understand the reservation under 'dr. Such n such' he gave up years of his life to earn his degree,  and he damn well wants to be acknowledged for it.     However,  squeaky sax boy is looking for a mother figure to praise him for expanding his horizons.    Either that or he's a mommas boy, and momma told him he was great.  Be sure to feed your kids brownies and pixie styx in front  of him, if you ever get to the point where you introduce him to them.  

[BigMark]

She has kids?

[cannongal]

Re read the first post,   she mentioned having kids twice.

[MirahM]

I guess Big Mark couldn't read past his big cock.