The Felony-Stupid Criminal File

[Lady Cop]

feel free to enter any stories of criminal imbeciles here! contrary to what many may believe, most criminals are not masterminds, and this is proven daily in booking sheets all over the land.
our first master criminal is from Indiana...


Man tries to cash forged check for one million dollars at a bank's drive-through window. sure buddy, right away...you want that in large bills?


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

By Anna Rochelle, Staff Writer

A rural Bloomfield man who went to the drive-through window of the Eastern Heights branch of the Bloomfield State Bank early Friday morning, and tried to cash a check for one million dollars, didn't drive off with any cash.
Later the same day, Lt. Bryan Woodall of the Greene County Sheriff's Department gave the man a ride to the county jail.

Justin S. Johnson, 21, who resides in Lawrence Hollow Estates, appeared in Greene Superior Court on Tuesday afternoon and was charged with one count of forgery, a class C felony.

A call came in to the sheriff's department from the bank around 8:45 a.m. on Friday. The complaint was that Johnson was attempting to cash a check for one million dollars by handing the check through the window to a teller.

Lt. Woodall was dispatched and spoke with the teller who said it was not a valid check and she did not cash it. Woodall said the teller kept the check. And she obtained Johnson's driver's license and made a copy of it before Johnson left.

The deputy located Johnson at his residence.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Johnson said a blank check was given to him the day before by a man he had done some work for.

Johnson allegedly filled the check out, knowing it was not supposed to be written for one million dollars, signed the man's name and attempted to cash it.

The check was written on an account at Hoosier Hills Credit Union located in Bedford, in the name of a company located in Bloomington.

Johnson's bond has been set at $10,000 according to the standard bond schedule.

[God]

Where I used to live is a dog-rough joint,
and most of the people there draw state benefits -
only one guy - complete with stockinged head -
tried to rob the post office where he got his benefits from every week
and said he was amazed to be recognised when he was jailed!

[Lady Cop]

it's amazing isn't it? ::lol::
i remember reading about a guy in texas several years ago who won 4 million dollars in the lottery. he was busted for selling crack on a street corner a few weeks later. evidently he loved his work.

one of my personal favorites was a guy who was a frequent flyer at our jail...we knew him well on the street.
one sunday morning the local newspapers had a HUGE photo of him on the front page taken at the bank he had just robbed. no mask or disguise. grinning at the camera.
i saw the paper, went to his house, and arrested his sorry ass.
he was waiting for me.

[Duchess]

Stupid fuckers...Get a job.

[Lady Cop]

i don't think i am ever going to find another one that makes me laugh like this guy. i would LOVE to know just what he was thinking! i mean really, who would notice some guy walking into the bank disguised as a tree?

MANCHESTER, N.H. (July 8) - Leaf it to New Hampshire, where a bank branch was held up by a man disguised as a tree.

Just as the Citizen Bank branch opened Saturday morning, a man walked in with leafy boughs duct-taped to his head and torso, and robbed the place.

"He really went out on a limb," police Sgt. Ernie Goodno said Sunday.

Police said the leafy man didn't saying anything about having a weapon, just demanded cash, and was given an undisclosed amount.

actual bank photo, james coldwell, 49.:

[God]

Well, he did go into his local branch

[Lady Cop]

this gardener won't be reaping his crop. the police did it for him. (Nantucket)


what an asshole.

[God]

What made them twig?

[IMaDick]

Washington (CNN) -- Elena Kagan was confirmed as the 112^th justice to the Supreme Court Thursday and could be sworn into her judicial post by week's end.

The vote on the Senate floor was 63-37.

Five Republicans in the Senate had signaled their intention to vote for Kagan, meaning conservatives didn't have the strength in numbers to delay the proceedings with a filibuster.

Only one Democrat announced his opposition: Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska.

"I have heard concerns from Nebraskans regarding Ms. Kagan, and her lack of a judicial record makes it difficult for me to discount the concerns raised by Nebraskans, or to reach a level of comfort that these concerns are unfounded," he said in a statement.

Kagan will become only the fourth woman ever to sit on the prestigious bench.

The New York native and former Harvard Law School dean will replace the retiring Justice John Paul Stevens.

She was picked by President Obama on May 10, and the Judiciary Committee sent her nomination to the floor last month.

[Duchess]

I think it's stupid too to put people in positions of power who have no experience.

Hell just froze over, I agreed with Dick.

[God]

How can you agree with Dick? He didn't say a thing!

[Duchess]

His comment was in what he posted. He thinks her appointment is stupid.

I don't know much about her story just that she is inexperienced. It's a very important job & I simply thought she should have had more of a judicial background. I might have spelled that wrong, too lazy to check.

[God]

One of us is trippin' ... I don't get where his comment is!

[Lady Cop]

oh Dickie.........
http://mockforums.net/showthread.php?tid=4049

[Lady Cop]

SANTA! SAY IT'S NOT YOU SANTA! :christmas cry: :christmas rolleyes: :christmas redface:

KANAWHA COUNTY, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- A man is behind bars for committing "lewd acts" with a mannequin in a public park Sunday morning.

According to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department, 61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell from Belle was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park in Malden with his shirt off and his pants around his ankles.

Deputies say Campbell was sitting on a park bench with an armless mannequin on his lap, holding it with one hand -- pleasuring himself with the other.

When the deputy identified himself, Campbell stopped, pushed the mannequin off him and pulled his pants up.

All of this happened in a residential area and close to a church, according to Deputies.

Campbell has been charged with indecent exposure. He gave up his right to have an attorney represent him during arraignment

Campbell is in the South Central Jail on a $2,500 cash only bond.

[Lady Cop]

hahahahahaha.

EATON, Ohio -- Police in Eaton said a woman threatened to called for help because she was being arrested.

Authorities said 44-year-old Andrea Elliot was intoxicated and disorderly on Tuesday night. However, when officers tried to put her in handcuffs, she threatened to call 911 and complain that she was being arrested.

Elliot is facing charges of aggravated disorderly conduct.

[Duchess]

She's got the "ugly cry" going on.

[Lady Cop]

Beaverton Oregon...actually i felt sorry for this guy and don't see why someone couldn't give him a little hug and some hot chocolate. to just show him some humanity.

A homeless man who sneaked into a Beaverton hot tub, then called 9-1-1 to ask for towels, hot chocolate and a hug got cold comfort from police instead.

Mark Eskelsen called emergency dispatchers from his cell phone about 7:10 a.m. Sunday, identified himself as "the sheriff of Washington County," and asked for medical help. The dispatcher asked Eskelsen, who later admitted he wasn't the sheriff what was wrong.

"Well, I've been yelling for about an hour and a half," Eskelsen said.

But the dispatcher already knew that. Neighbors had called 9-1-1, concerned about the man bellowing from a fence-surrounded pool in the 15000 block of Southwest Village Lane.

Eskelsen said he had been sitting in the water for about 10 hours. His towels had gotten wet, and his fingers looked like prunes. poor guy!

"I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it," he told the dispatcher.

[Duchess]

He even looks oblivious.

[Lady Cop]

:O
i have told Maggot over and over to stop doing this shit!


HYANNIS – A man forgot to wear more than his waders when he went out clamming Friday afternoon off Harbor Bluff Road.

Police arrested Savery Antone, 38, of Falmouth, for open and gross lewdness, after he was seen clamming in 2 feet of water completely in the buff around 4:30 p.m. Friday, said Sgt. Sean Sweeney.

A neighbor called the police to say Antone was offending residents and beachgoers alike.
When police arrived they saw Antone and a male friend about 35 feet offshore in the shallow water.

Antone had a bucket to collect shellfish. His genitals were above water and in full view, Sweeney said.

When police called him on shore, they noticed his slurred speech, and placed him in protective custody, and charged him with open and gross lewdness.