Questions for men (or butchy women)

[Cracker]

1.) What should I be putting on my front lawn about now? Fertilizer? Will that Miracle Grow spray and the Weed B Gone spray that I attach to the hose be OK?

2.) My smartphone (fucking thing) lost it's charge completely (that was my bad) and all my important pictures didn't come back. Can my cell company retrieve them? They didn't come back after I charged it. I need them.

3.) I have three big Bartlett pear trees in my front yard. The one in the middle stayed barren this spring except for a few branches at the very bottom. Is it dead? I don't want to cut it down because I hate the fucking neighbors across the street.

[IMaDick]

Do nothing to the lawn until after the threat of frost is gone,and then I always liked amonia nitrate (nitrogen) for my grass, if you have weeds then use the weed and feed first and then mid summer give it another shot of nitrogen. as for the pear tree, prune it back hard and see what happens.

if by early spring it has no leaf buds and no sucker buds by in the from the hard pruning, it's done.

[Cracker]

Thanks, Dick. It's a pretty big tree, 12-15 feet tall, and I hate to lose it. I swear if it is dead I will plant wisteria vine and let it have the dead trunk. I truly hate the rednecks across the way and I don't want to look at their ugly kids all summer. Big-headed, foul-mouthed, white trash little bastards. I'm hoping their dad builds an even bigger skateboard ramp this year so they can't shake off the crashes. hahaha

[Lady Cop]

yes! wisteria!

not butch here! afraid to post in thread! hahaha




::bantits::

[Cracker]

Damn. Too late for a bra for that one. Hard to tell where the boob sweat ends and the belly sweat begins.

I think I'll order some wisteria.

[Maggot]

What should I be putting on my front lawn about now?

I just used my roof rake today, first time in 5 yrs. What zone are you in? I can look for cover plants. When I started messing around with plants 10 yrs ago it all looked so simple. Now I know, and am still learning "the ropes"

[Maggot]

I grew up working potato, squash,cucumber,pumpkin and a few apple orchards as a teenager, but until I bought my house I never really got into trees, bushes, flowers and shit like that. I had cut down alot of trees but never climbed and limbed them. It was mostly notch and make sure they miss the house, power lines etc. If I knew your zone I could look up what might grow in your soil but that would depend on the soil maybe you should find out why the pear tree died. There are many factors that come into play and I'm getting a fat headache thinking of all the different things that might affect you. You should just tell me to forget about it so I can move on and worry about the ice dams that are forming in the hip roof by my sunroom.

[Lady Cop]

Zone 6
Georgia zone 6 consists of minimum winter temperatures ranging from minus 5 to 0 degrees Fahrenheit. This zone covers a small portion of the state, located at the very top of Georgia. Zone 6 is a productive planting zone; almost all warm-weather plants will thrive if planted in this portion of the state. Planting times for zone 6 are determined by using the average last frost date of March 30 to April 30. Average dates of the yearly first frost in zone 6 of Georgia are September 30 to October 30. Perennial plants that do well in this zone include astilbe, bee balm, lavender, prim rose and violets.

Zone 7
The Georgia planting zone 7 averages minimum winter temperatures of 0 to 10 degrees Fahrenheit. Zone 7 occupies most of the upper portion of the state of Georgia and generally features a mild winter climate, suitable for warmth-loving plants that cannot survive in colder temperatures. The planting time for zone 7 is calculated by using the average date of the last frost, March 30 to April 30. September 30 to October 30 is the average date of the first frost. Perennial plants that thrive in zone 7 include foxglove, Russian sage, aster and coral bells.

Zone 8

Zone 8 in Georgia is the warmest of the state's planting zones with minimum winter temperatures ranging from 10 to 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Occupying the lower half of the state of Georgia, zone 8 is temperate with warm summers and long growing seasons. Planting times in zone 8 are based on average last frost dates starting February 28 and running into March 30. First frost average dates in zone 8 are October 30 to November 30. Zone 8 plants that do well in the Georgia climate include lilies, bellflowers, lavender, violets and sunflowers.

[sally]

I don't know the answer to any of those questions, but I do know that Miracle Grow works wonders on my rose bushes.

[Cracker]

I'm in zone 7a or 7b (just looked, can't really tell). Most things grow well here. I used to invest tons of money getting my front yard to look lovely, but the fucking rednecks don't understand about my-yard-your-yard and trash-goes-in-the-can and don't-shoot-bottle-rockets-at-my-fucking-house so I am not as involved in yard care as I used to be. I'm not reseeding again just have the little bastards tear through it on bikes or throw/retrieve balls from the freshly seeded area. I just want to keep the dandelions down because I like the next door neighbor. The rest can kiss my ass. I'm the only chick that has to cut grass on the street, so I'm sure they already comment on how much better my yard would look if I had a man. I'm thinking the bigger your beer gut is, the better your lawn looks.

[Maggot]

I don't know the answer to any of those questions, but I do know that Miracle Grow works wonders on my rose bushes.

It does wonders for weed also. Not that I know anything about growing that evil,evil stuff that makes people go crazy and run amok naked on secluded islands that are un-named and , and,and,and....utterly takes down governments in swoops and daggers. depleting the tax base and running free, free like the wind. But I may be on a tangent or something. 3ft tall. :B

[Cracker]

I don't know the answer to any of those questions, but I do know that Miracle Grow works wonders on my rose bushes.

I think that's what I'm going to do. Weed B Gone, Miracle Grow, and maybe a small chainsaw to trim the tree. Might hire that one out so I don't lose an arm. I'll also drag out the pressure washer for the house and decks. Other than that, I'm not investing much more for outside.

I might break the basketball goal they have tipped over in another neighbor's yard. That would be the biggest home improvement project I can think of.

[Maggot]

I'm in zone 7a or 7b (just looked, can't really tell). Most things grow well here. I used to invest tons of money getting my front yard to look lovely, but the fucking rednecks don't understand about my-yard-your-yard and trash-goes-in-the-can and don't-shoot-bottle-rockets-at-my-fucking-house so I am not as involved in yard care as I used to be. I'm not reseeding again just have the little bastards tear through it on bikes or throw/retrieve balls from the freshly seeded area. I just want to keep the dandelions down because I like the next door neighbor. The rest can kiss my ass. I'm the only chick that has to cut grass on the street, so I'm sure they already comment on how much better my yard would look if I had a man. I'm thinking the bigger your beer gut is, the better your lawn looks.

I think if you layed down 2 dumptrucks of manure........hmmmm ... but now that I think about it use the wrong address it may be worth the 60.00$

[Misguided]

If you choose to do the Nitrogen app,use a slo release.Too much of a Nitrogen app can burn your grass where a slo release will prevent that.Nitrogen causes a quick flush of growth and green color but the soil may also need a lime app depending on how acidic the soil is.This will help your plant absorb the Fertilizer you put down and hold it longer. Phosporus also helps as it promotes root growth.Root growth is important also because the deeper the roots are,the more the grass can handle things like drought stress(lack of water in hot summers).Drought stress can kill back grass allowing weeds to move into those bare spots as weeds can take over before the grass grows back and the weeds will choke out the grass.

[Cracker]

I guess I need one of those spreader thingys if they don't sell lime that you can spray with the hose.

I swear my next house is going to have a tiny patch of yard and no stairs. And only elderly people.

[Cracker]

They DO have liquid lime:



Now I have to decide if I want to get a jump on it or wait until April. I think my lawn needs some love.

[Maggot]

The elderly make GREAT fertilizer!:B

[Misguided]

Dont know where your at but the grass is still probly dormant.Wait 'till Spring.If the soil is frozen,...it cant absorb the lime and you need to test the soil with a kit to see if you actually need the lime.
The grass wont be able to take in the Nitrogen until it is growing.The soil temps have to warm up and keep the soil temps constant for about a week or so before it will start to grow.
"Dick" is right about the weed control first if you are going to do a nitrogen feed.
Something that may be best for you is a spreader app of a Weed & Feed product.It will kill most of the weeds and will use a slo release type fertlizer that will feed the grass after the weeds start to die off.Pay special attention to the settings you need to use on the spreader as directed on the product bag.
2 types of spreaders....broadcast and drop styles.Broadcast will spin and throw it further.Do it at a time when you can see your tracks...early in the morning is good because you can usually see your tracks in the dew or the grass will lay down as you walk in it.In the afternoon,the grass is usually stiffer and dry and you cant see so well where you have been so you cant see where the spreader has "thrown" the product.It will usually throw a path about 4-6 feet in width.
Drop speaders do just that.It just drops it thru a opening in the bottom of the hopper and will only cover a path as wide as the device.
Again,..both are revelant to the size of the property you are trying to treat....and so defines the reason for which spreader to choose.
-Some broadleaf weeds will remain as some require a specific type of herbicide directed just at those plants but it kill off many of the common ones such as dandelion,clover,henbit,...etc...

[Cracker]

haha @Maggot and the elderly fertilizer.

[Cracker]

Dont know where your at but the grass is still probly dormant.Wait 'till Spring.If the soil is frozen,...it cant absorb the lime and you need to test the soil with a kit to see if you actually need the lime.
The grass wont be able to take in the Nitrogen until it is growing.The soil temps have to warm up and keep the soil temps constant for about a week or so before it will start to grow.
"Dick" is right about the weed control first if you are going to do a nitrogen feed.
Something that may be best for you is a spreader app of a Weed & Feed product.It will kill most of the weeds and will use a slo release type fertlizer that will feed the grass after the weeds start to die off.Pay special attention to the settings you need to use on the spreader as directed on the product bag.
2 types of spreaders....broadcast and drop styles.Broadcast will spin and throw it further.Do it at a time when you can see your tracks...early in the morning is good because you can usually see your tracks in the dew or the grass will lay down as you walk in it.In the afternoon,the grass is usually stiffer and dry and you cant see so well where you have been so you cant see where the spreader has "thrown" the product.It will usually throw a path about 4-6 feet in width.
Drop speaders do just that.It just drops it thru a opening in the bottom of the hopper and will only cover a path as wide as the device.
Again,..both are revelant to the size of the property you are trying to treat....and so defines the reason for which spreader to choose.
-Some broadleaf weeds will remain as some require a specific type of herbicide directed just at those plants but it kill off many of the common ones such as dandelion,clover,henbit,...etc...

My yard is freaking huge. The back is over a half acre (I just mow that, I think of it more as a field) and the front is pretty big, too. It takes about 2 ¹⁄₂ hours to cut it all on a riding mower. I can cover the front with 3 bottles of this:


I may get a spreader. The bottle is so much easier. I think I need lime this year, though, haven't done that in at least 3 years.

Can I do lime now or do I have to wait? I'll wait on the fertilizer and weed spray (weed spray first, right?, so I don't fertilize them, too).