Guys...need help deciding on a gift?

[Lady Cop]

having trouble figuring out the perfect gift for that special lady in your life?
or perhaps for your sister or your mom?

just let me be your personal shopper (for a small fee.)

how about something unique, something none of her friends will have.

a real dead toad.
sure to make a lasting impression.
it even has a zipper in it's ass.

from the site:
This cane toad purse has all four of its legs still attached. With a long cord, you can wear this purse over your shoulder or around your neck. Big enough to hold an id card, some cash, a spare key, and a tube of lipstick. Being that the toads come in all sizes, the size of your purse will vary a little bit from the one pictured.
and only $39.95!





idea stolen from Dave Barry

[Duchess]

Does it come in any other colors?

[Lady Cop]

Does it come in any other colors?

[Smegma]

I used to have one of these when I was a kid. I never took it anywhere but I thought it was awesome. Thanks for selling it in a yard sale when I went in the military, mom.

[Lady Cop]

oh yeah! i had one also, it was a square bag with the gator's head on top. a gift from my Grandma in florida. i thought that thing was ugly, but i wonder where it went. it's probably worth a fortune now. hahaha

[Lady Cop]

ok if you don't like the toad purse...how about a Jesus toaster? someone you know needs this item.
people are always finding Jesus on potatoes and rocks and tree trunks, now you can give the meaningful gift of Jesus on toast.

http://www.burntimpressions.com/

[username]

Hahaha!


Speaking of the Son of God, where's aussie? I wonder if they finally got smart and locked her ass up in the looney bin where she supposedly works.

[username]

I'm getting this for Dick, Maggot and Cracker...

[aussiefriend]

Hahaha!


Speaking of the Son of God, where's aussie? I wonder if they finally got smart and locked her ass up in the looney bin where she supposedly works.

fuck you I have been earning big $$$ working there. If you blow my cover that I belong there as a 'client' I will be most annoyed.

[Lady Cop]

for those days you feel stabbby~
here's another unique gift from Dave Barry's Gift Guide---->





Miami Herald
We’re not going to beat around the bush here: This is one of the most exciting items we at the Holiday Gift Guide have ever encountered. It comes from the folks at Smoky Mountain Knife Works. Apparently they were sitting around one day, wondering, “What can we here at the Smoky Mountain Knife Works do to help people get into the true spirit of the holidays?” And then somebody — let’s call him Bob — said, “How about we sell a Christmas stocking filled with knives?” And then everybody had a good laugh and took away Bob’s crack pipe.

No, seriously: They actually did it. We know because we bought this item. What you get is a cheap mesh Christmas stocking with a cardboard picture of a happy ho-ho-ho Santa on it, and this stocking is COMPLETELY FULL OF KNIVES. And these knives are not small, either.

[cladking]

What's next... ...elephant scrotum?

This should be all the rage for "real" woMEN.

And it should wear forever if properly tanned.