Lyndon Baines Johnson Appreciation Thread

[Ma Huang Sor]

LBJ had the biggest cock of any American president, and would show it to anyone who asked.

[Ma Huang Sor]

When running for the Oval Office he said things such as, "Gentlemen, I have a hard-on for the presidency."

[Ma Huang Sor]

He was fond of intimidating his subordinates with his monster "trouser snake" and loved showing it off.

[Ma Huang Sor]

His cock was named "Jumbo" and he would chase secretaries around the office with it.

[Ma Huang Sor]

Men were shown in to meet him while he was sitting on the toilet, so they could see his cock hanging into the bowl and snaking down his leg when he stood up to pull his pants on.

[Ma Huang Sor]

LBJ would make reporters strip first and get into the White House swimming pool, where he'd talk to them. Then would come his "un-veiling" of the Largest Cock in the modern world and he would give an interview to the "little people". When swimming nude with others, he would shake his horse cock at them and say, "If any of this gets out, you're finished."

[Ma Huang Sor]

He said, "I don't trust a man until I have his pecker in my pocket."

[Ma Huang Sor]

During a press conference in Thailand, LBJ exposed himself to reporters outside a washroom and said, "Don't see 'em this big out here, do they?"

[Lady Cop]

i went to a dinner at the White House with my Dad. i sat next to LBJ when he was a senator. on the way home my Dad said to me "watch out for that sneaky snake fucker".

[Ma Huang Sor]

When some reporters were pestering him about why the US was in Vietnam, he became exasperated, unzipped his fly, pulled out his cock and said, "This is why."

[Ma Huang Sor]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3GT9UN7^nDo&feature=player_embedded#!

cant get the fucking link to work, funny as hell.

[Riotgear]

Is that all true?

[Duchess]

...and people had a problem with Bill.

[Riotgear]

The only problem I had with Bill is the women he chose. Jesusfuckingchrist bro them chicks were UGLY.

Back in the day the President used SLING some dick. Remember Marilyn? I mean, you're the leader of the greatest nation on God's green earth. Have some national pride.

[SIXFOOTERsez]

11 posts about LBJs dick? Really?

[Ma Huang Sor]

There are more. Want to see?

[Ma Huang Sor]

•This is an Historically Accurate Transcription starring President Lyndon B. Johnson and President-elect Richard Nixon•

NIXON: Let me get this straight — you’re saying I should tape every conversation I have in the Oval Office?
LBJ: Absolutely. It’s the only way to go.
NIXON: I don’t know, Lyndon. It seems like something that could bite me in the ass.
LBJ: Not a chance in Hell. You’re going to be the President of the United States. You can burn the tapes and cover things up, if necessary.
NIXON: It doesn’t seem right. It seems like a risky move.
LBJ: Don’t be a pussy…it will make writing your memoirs much easier.
NIXON: Should I make it known that I record conversations?
LBJ: Hell no! Just do it! What’s the worst that could happen? Some asshole will get mad that their voice was recorded? Boo-fucking-hoo. Tell them that you’ll give them a copy of them chatting with the President so they look cool in front of their friends.
NIXON: What if Congress catches wind of it? It seems like I might be changing the nature of Presidential record-keeping and risking Executive Privilege.
LBJ: Dick…hahahaha…I said “Dick”! Anyway, Dick…hahahaha..
NIXON: Dude…
LBJ: Okay, sorry. Seriously, fuck Congress. What can they do?
NIXON: Impeach me?
LBJ: They never ACTUALLY impeach anyone. Especially since your Vice President is going to be that crooked retard Spiro Agnew.
NIXON: Good point. He’s from Maryland. Nobody wants a President from Maryland.
LBJ: Maryland doesn’t want a President from Maryland.
NIXON: Maryland is where Virginia and Pennsylvania stores garbage and sex offenders.
LBJ: If states were people, Maryland would be the creepy homeless guy who gives handjobs for crack money.
NIXON: Maryland is to Baltimore what bad parenting is to serial killers.
LBJ: Maryland gave Hepatitis to West Virginia and now they both make people sick.
NIXON: Okay…but back to the tapes…are you SURE this is a good idea?
LBJ: It’s a slam dunk. Tape the conversations, have them transcribed, make copies, and you’ll never have anything to worry about. Nobody ever got in trouble for telling everyone exactly what happened.
NIXON: But what if…
LBJ: No “what ifs”, Dick…hahahaha…”Dick”…just take my advice. Shit, you act like you’re going to mastermind a criminal conspiracy and then try to cover it up from the Oval Office. Tape the conversations and make sure not to make a bunch of anti-Semetic or borderline racist statements that will be preserved for history and kept in the National Archives. Why does this seem so hard to you?
NIXON: I just have a bad feeling about this. I feel like Maryland smells.
LBJ: Maryland eats dick sandwiches for breakfast and gets beat up regularly by Delaware.
NIXON: There’s a petition going around from women named Mary. They want their name removed from “Maryland” because it’s insulting to everyone named Mary.
LBJ: What are they going to call it? Shitland?
NIXON: Alright, we get the joke already, Maryland sucks.
LBJ: Dick.
NIXON: What?
LBJ: I wasn’t saying your name, I was using the adjective most fitting when describing you.

[Riotgear]

Unfurl the banner and raise it to the sky.

[aussiefriend]

I heard he knew about Kennedy's assassination. I saw it on youtube from his mistress. He complained about the 'irish mafia'.

[cladking]

I heard he knew about Kennedy's assassination. I saw it on youtube from his mistress. He complained about the 'irish mafia'.

I'm confident that LBJ was a conspirator after the fact in JFK's murder. I suspect he was in on it earlier. Hoover killed him.

LBJ was one of the worst things to ever happen to this country. He was also the first president after the coup.