YOU'RE NOT INVITED!

[Duchess]

I've read of a new trend - people are having smaller weddings these days and instead of sending out invitations inviting people to share their special day they are sending out cards telling people they are not invited.

This is up there with the card I got listing choices of things I could help pay for on their honeymoon.

Is this okay?

[HairOfTheDog]

I've never heard of getting an un-invitation. Too funny. Does the un-invitation card still solicit gifts? If so, that's really weird and kinda arrogant.

I think asking for donations to the honeymoon is okay though, IF the person being solicited is invited to the wedding and the donation is in place of a traditional tangible gift.

I wouldn't want to be a wedding planner for anything. Too much drama. I've helped my sisters plan 6 weddings. Sometimes the social politics involved in determining the guest list, who was seated with whom, etc... was really funny (to me, not them).

[username]

WTH??? No! That's not okay and it's just bizarre.

Does that mean I can go to a total stranger's wedding because I didn't receive my uninvite? Weird.

I think it's tacky to ask for donations. It's enough that we have registries but to send out a separate card specifically asking for money...yuk. Presumptious.

[ramseycat]

An uninvited card is rude and tacky as is asking for donations for the honeymoon. If you can't afford it, don't go. I also hate the notion of giving a gift that costs as much as your meal or the cash equivalent. What if I can't afford $200? If a person wants to have an expensive wedding, that's their choice. A guest should be able to give what they can afford and are comfortable with. Personally I think weddings are off the chain these days. People spend so much money on the wedding trying to keep up with the celebrities. Instead of having a $50k wedding, why not put that money down on a house?

[NightOwl]

I've read of a new trend - people are having smaller weddings these days and instead of sending out invitations inviting people to share their special day they are sending out cards telling people they are not invited.

This is up there with the card I got listing choices of things I could help pay for on their honeymoon.

Is this okay?

Are they joking! this is outrageous and more bad manners. What a waste of paper, they need to pay for their own honeymoon! I'd shred a card like that and do nothing!

[aussiefriend]

File that invitation under "Go Fuck Yourself"

[NightOwl]

An uninvited card is rude and tacky as is asking for donations for the honeymoon. If you can't afford it, don't go. I also hate the notion of giving a gift that costs as much as your meal or the cash equivalent. What if I can't afford $200? If a person wants to have an expensive wedding, that's their choice. A guest should be able to give what they can afford and are comfortable with. Personally I think weddings are off the chain these days. People spend so much money on the wedding trying to keep up with the celebrities. Instead of having a $50k wedding, why not put that money down on a house?

Well said ramsey! it is such bad manners to even put your name on one of these registries I don't like and refuse to participate in the racket, one girl I heard about has a Kitchenaid Professional $500 Mixer, a Waterford Crystal Decanter at $200 on her list of wants. What Honeymoon? how can you call it a Honeymoon when you've only shacked up for the last 5 years.

I wish they'd roll it back to a more sensible time and keep it quaint.

[HairOfTheDog]

snipped:

You're Not Invited Cards/Emails:

'The groom blames the bride, and the bride blames the groom,' Byron said.

According to Byron, the majority of the time the couples feel super guilty that they have to trim the list and want to explain themselves. 'These are usually people they're friendly with, but not close to,' she said.

But the 'you're not invited' notes have prompted some recipients to voice their fury online.

'These are unnecessary and narcissistic' one CafeMom.com commenter wrote, according to Today.
'Rude as hell,' wrote another.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...g-day.html
------------------------------

No one else thinks this is nothing other than hilarious? I would never be offended by getting such a card from the type of self-important guilt-ridden people who would feel the need to send one. At least they're not asking for gifts or donations in the "you're not invited!" card.

Regarding the honeymoon registry donation, it's no more objectionable than a gift registry donation to me (and either should be optional, not expected). If I had the choice, I'd rather donate to the honeymoon than spend the same amount on houseware, especially for couples who've established a household already.

[Older Than Dirt]

Ramsey & NightOwl, GREAT POST !!! And, all these destination weddings where friends and family have take a train or airplane to get there !! Also, love how somebody is quick to tell you that the food is $200 a plate. I'm glad that I'm as far along as I am . Back in my day, we mostly got things we would need to set up housekeeping. And, the marriages lasted longer and a lot of times forever !

[NightOwl]

Ramsey & NightOwl, GREAT POST !!! And, all these destination weddings where friends and family have take a train or airplane to get there !! Also, love how somebody is quick to tell you that the food is $200 a plate. I'm glad that I'm as far along as I am . Back in my day, we mostly got things we would need to set up housekeeping. And, the marriages lasted longer and a lot of times forever !

LOL glad you found this thread wondered what your opinion would be, I can't stop laughing. Those were the days my mother said she was so grateful to receive a lovely lace tablecloth, a big beautiful box of cutlery, a set of Blue Willow dishes a decent potato peeler and rolling pin LOL only kidding at the last 2. They had less to start and marriages did last longer that's the truth.

Hope to get a minute to read HairOfTheDogs articles mentioned, sounds like fun! Later to-night.