HOLIDAY HORS D'OEUVRES

[Cracker]

Hi, Cracker banana!

A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"

I bet you throw a good party, Maggot. The men go outside to "see something in the workshop" and the woman have a minute to bitch about your skid marks. Then you all come back in smiling and eat everything the cows left for you. Yes, I bet you throw a fine party with good music.

I don't like home parties that look like hotel parties. I already have to attend work parties with the assholes at work. I want hors d'oeuvres that substitute for a meal so I don't have to stop at Waffle House on the way home...