NFL 2014

[Donovan]

I hope you guys give me more satisfaction than Home Depot did.

Sorry, Duchess – I might disappoint you today, but I’ll make it up to you later.

I have company coming late this afternoon, so I need to throw on some flannel, wrangle up some dry red, polish my furniture and floors, tighten my mask, clean the kitchen

faggit

, forget everything that I ever learned about the definitions and practical applications of behavior modification, tolerance, stereotyping, and social anthropology in favor of Donovanism,

THAT's the spirit. Can you show my girlfriend how to grovel like that?

deal with the startling revelation that Donovan -- like most other Mockers -- attempts to use humor or provocation to make a point or just for fun,

that, and I'm trying to get my own reality show.

and then pray like hell that I don’t have a slip of the tongue and moan, “you're so fuckin' good, username, you sexy little bitch” in the heat of heterosexual passion (so far, I've managed to keep that pussy tight in the bag).

SHIT there went my laptop again.

But, first, I’ve got some lovely old carpets and boxes that I’ve pulled down from the low shelf in the closet -- need to drop them off at the open antique exchange --busy as a beaver here, so off I roll…

You're not fooling anybody, you know you chewed those carpets to bits and ate all those box lunches years ago.

Just remember, if you need to capture the Amusement park Pirate ghost on your way back, it'll be old man Smithers in a mask. It's always old man Smithers.