NFL 2015

[Blindgreed1]

hi-res-16fe561b0a23ed67c4aa1380091fb650_

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports
60.1K
Reads
62
Comments
This is the highbrow stuff.
This is what my family wanted for me when I enrolled in college and was taught the finer points of bothering strangers about matters of public interest.
They wanted me to ask the hard-hitting stuff, like, "Did Mike Ditka lift his right buttock and smother Cris Carter in airborne misery onMonday Night Countdown last night?"
This is the question of the day, and solving its mysteries is the goal.
Initial allegations of Ditka's fumigation arose when Deadspin posted video of Carter making his pick alongside Ditka and Chris Berman before Monday night's game between the Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants.
Carter picked the Giants out of spite, prompting Ditka to laugh and possibly scorch the room with a loud, involuntary fart:
My first instinct here is to ask questions: How is this possible? How can the sound be so crisp and unmistakable? Was Ditka's microphone embedded in his chair? Was it Berman? An off-camera sound guy? Was there a second pooter?
Sporting News' Sean Gentille insists this video hasn't been tampered with, leaving us to conclude that Ditka's bowels poured forth such a gale that standard, outside-the-pants audio equipment couldn't help but register the noise clearly.
This would explain the look of unblemished terror that appeared on Carter's face after the sound. This is the face of a man meeting a fate he can't run from:
de08b6c1d244e247c855c9938132ee37_crop_ex

@Deadspin
Somebody farted. I can't prove it, but I've run through the scenarios, and it all comes back to a gut blaster. We'll never know who did it, but Occam's razor suggests we consider the obvious culprit.
I know it was you, Mike.