HOMELY PEOPLE & LAZY BASTARDS

[Duchess]

Greetings & Salutations.

Our Kingdom was quiet over the weekend. I do have something nice to say about that - I'm really glad you all have a life. Seriously. So happy you're not losers.

Sally, come up with a kickass recipe and post it in the kitchen. Something along the lines of rice cakes or chili - beans or no beans. Even something about dented cans or broken boxes would be cool.

Ramsey, just because you're a wealthy divorcee' doesn't mean you shouldn't know how to fix your own garbage disposal. Get thee to Lowes and take a class or five.

Aussie, you're no fun when your nose is to the grindstone.

FQ2, you'll soon be asked what you'd like for Christmas, you should probably say sheets. Given the workout they get they must be threadbare at this point.

Clang, in regards to the priesthood, piss or get off the pot. You need seven years of education and you're already 20 years too late.

Kid, I can hardly believe you haven't found someone to share that gorgeous home with. What the fuck is wrong with you.

There's a nigger in the woodpile. I can smell it.

[ramseycat]

It was broken. Cracked and leaking. I can't fix that. Luckily I don't have too.

[Duchess]

I can't deal with logical when I'm trying to get some shit started.

[ramseycat]

Well fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

[Duchess]

That's more like it. Give it to me hard.

Where's that bitch Sally? God knows she doesn't have anything better to do than eat Bruschetta and change diapers, although I guess that angel is potty trained by now so that just leaves eating Bruschetta.

[JsMom]

Greetings & Salutations.

Our Kingdom was quiet over the weekend. I do have something nice to say about that - I'm really glad you all have a life. Seriously. So happy you're not losers.

Sally, come up with a kickass recipe and post it in the kitchen. Something along the lines of rice cakes or chili - beans or no beans. Even something about dented cans or broken boxes would be cool.

Ramsey, just because you're a wealthy divorcee' doesn't mean you shouldn't know how to fix your own garbage disposal. Get thee to Lowes and take a class or five.

Aussie, you're no fun when your nose is to the grindstone.

FQ2, you'll soon be asked what you'd like for Christmas, you should probably say sheets. Given the workout they get they must be threadbare at this point.

Clang, in regards to the priesthood, piss or get off the pot. You need seven years of education and you're already 20 years too late.

Kid, I can hardly believe you haven't found someone to share that gorgeous home with. What the fuck is wrong with you.

There's a nigger in the woodpile. I can smell it.

Did I hear nigger?

[JsMom]

Well fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

[Clang McFly]

Greetings & Salutations.

Our Kingdom was quiet over the weekend. I do have something nice to say about that - I'm really glad you all have a life. Seriously. So happy you're not losers.

Sally, come up with a kickass recipe and post it in the kitchen. Something along the lines of rice cakes or chili - beans or no beans. Even something about dented cans or broken boxes would be cool.

Ramsey, just because you're a wealthy divorcee' doesn't mean you shouldn't know how to fix your own garbage disposal. Get thee to Lowes and take a class or five.

Aussie, you're no fun when your nose is to the grindstone.

FQ2, you'll soon be asked what you'd like for Christmas, you should probably say sheets. Given the workout they get they must be threadbare at this point.

Clang, in regards to the priesthood, piss or get off the pot. You need seven years of education and you're already 20 years too late.

Kid, I can hardly believe you haven't found someone to share that gorgeous home with. What the fuck is wrong with you.

There's a nigger in the woodpile. I can smell it.

actually I'm still about 20 years early. One of the latest priests to get ordained in our diocese is 64.

[aussiefriend]

Aussie, you're no fun when your nose is to the grindstone.

I know tell me about. I could elaborate but I feel it may come across as a little indulgent. I do get a little overtly hostile, when someone takes me away from my tasks to feed their drug craving. That is not mental illness it is drug addict behaviour, on a forensic level.

[Duchess]

I know tell me about.

I miss your presence when you're not around. When I don't see you I know you have your nose to the grindstone and can't come into Mock because you get distracted.

[Maggot]

That's more like it. Give it to me hard.

[sally]

Where's that bitch Sally? God knows she doesn't have anything better to do than eat Bruschetta and change diapers, although I guess that angel is potty trained by now so that just leaves eating Bruschetta.

She is potty trained as far as peeing goes, but she will not poop on the potty. She grabs a training diaper, hides in her room in the corner, takes a shit and then comes out and tells me to wipe her ass.

I spent all day Friday with her sitting on the toilet trying to get her to go. I gave her books to read, stickers and crayons to play with while she's in there and she says she just can't do it. It wont come out.

I looked up if this is normal and apparently it is, a lot of kids will pee on the potty but wont poop on it. One lady said she use to tell her son that they have to feed the potty and that's how she got him to finally go. He liked feeding the toilet. As weird and disgusting as that is, I even tried telling her that. It didn't work.

So Saturday she still hasn't pooped and she's walking around the house telling me "I have to get this poop out, mom". She was miserable and has spent hours on the toilet so I finally went to CVS and bought some more training pull-ups so she could take a shit in peace.

I wonder if Donovan has any jedi mind tricks up his sleeve for this one.

[Blindgreed1]

Where's that bitch Sally? God knows she doesn't have anything better to do than eat Bruschetta and change diapers, although I guess that angel is potty trained by now so that just leaves eating Bruschetta.

She is potty trained as far as peeing goes, but she will not poop on the potty. She grabs a training diaper, hides in her room in the corner, takes a shit and then comes out and tells me to wipe her ass.

I spent all day Friday with her sitting on the toilet trying to get her to go. I gave her books to read, stickers and crayons to play with while she's in there and she says she just can't do it. It wont come out.

I looked up if this is normal and apparently it is, a lot of kids will pee on the potty but wont poop on it. One lady said she use to tell her son that they have to feed the potty and that's how she got him to finally go. He liked feeding the toilet. As weird and disgusting as that is, I even tried telling her that. It didn't work.

So Saturday she still hasn't pooped and she's walking around the house telling me "I have to get this poop out, mom". She was miserable and has spent hours on the toilet so I finally went to CVS and bought some more training pull-ups so she could take a shit in peace.

I wonder if Donovan has any jedi mind tricks up his sleeve for this one.

I'm poop shy too. I don't crap in public restrooms unless I'm about to shit myself. When I am about to shit myself and a public restroom is my only option, I still can't go when someone else is in there with me. Maybe just remind her to use it if she feels comfortable going by herself and don't make such a production out of it?

[Duchess]

I wonder if Donovan has any jedi mind tricks up his sleeve for this one.

For sure he does. He's raising a little person too and has a teenage son AND a GF. He's jedi-mind tricking all the live long day.

[Midwest Spy]

I wonder if Donovan has any jedi mind tricks up his sleeve for this one.

He's jedi-mind tricking all the live long day.

Obiwan (to storm trooper looking for C3PO and R2D2)- "these aren't the droids you're looking for."

Storm trooper (to his colleagues): "these aren't the droids we're looking for."

Obiwan: "we can go about our business."

Storm trooper: "you can go about your business."

Obiwan: "move along."

Storm trooper: "Move along."

I could see Dono doing this shit to Sally if they ever met.

[sally]

Maybe just remind her to use it if she feels comfortable going by herself and don't make such a production out of it?

That's what I've been doing, but she's going to be turning four years old here in July. It's time to shit or get off the pot.

[sally]

That didn't make sense, that's literally what she has been doing.

[Duchess]

Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel invisible.

[username]

That didn't make sense, that's literally what she has been doing.

I'm thinking about it but I personally have no Jedi wisdom to offer. My son would shit in the toilet but as I recall, I was still wiping his ass for him till about 5.

Hey! Idea! Is she excited about kindergarten? You have to poo in the potty for kindergarten!

[Midwest Spy]

My daughter turned 2 and would rip her diaper off and hand it to us.

She's been trained ever since. She did it, not us. Been wearing little panties for as long as I can remember.

Boys, on the other hand, are a different story.