NO ORAL SEX
#41
I always considered sex to be like en ensemble performance. Every part adds to the whole piece, and if you leave out one instrument you may still get the tune but it won't be quite as rich when the song hits the crescendo.

I was married to a woman whose sexual repression was so thorough she couldn't enjoy even the slightest deviation from procedure, position and order of events. Sex with her was like a kazoo concerto. Fun for a minute or two but ultimately pretty fucking annoying.
I'd guess that oral sex for the 44% like Sally is because their partner just didn't know how to play the instrument to make it really hit the highest notes.
Thank god I am oblivious to the opinions of others while caught in the blinding splendor of my own cleverness.
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#42
Pffft.

Different people get off on different things for all kinds of personal reasons.

I don't need an ensemble performance for an ultimate rich experience and to hit the highest notes. Sex isn't a performance or a sport for me. It's just natural and fun.

Sometimes there are a lot of different activities, sometimes just one or two, sometimes it's slow, sometimes it's fast. Depends on how we feel; it's been that way with my previous relationships too.
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#43
(05-31-2015, 12:20 PM)sally Wrote: She'd ditch a guy in a heartbeat if he wasn't willing to eat her fat monkey.

hah This is begging to be a signature line.
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#44
(05-31-2015, 01:28 PM)Donovan Wrote: I'd guess that oral sex for the 44% like Sally is because their partner just didn't know how to play the instrument to make it really hit the highest notes.

I was wondering who would be the first moron to say that. Obviously I know my body better than you. I cannot climax from clitoral stimulation alone. The pussy eating champion of the world (which would most likely be a woman) could be down there for hours and nothing would happen. Like I said I don't mind it as foreplay, but no one is going to give me a mind blowing orgasm with it. And that to me is the ultimate goal when having sex. A small dick would be a bigger deal breaker for me.
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#45
You must spell the alphabet with your tongue, sometimes upper and lower case sometimes the entire dictionary including phonetic and latin relationships. Sometimes just the vowels. But penetration added becomes a holiday. Be safe, wear a helmet folks.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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#46
(05-31-2015, 06:12 PM)sally Wrote:
(05-31-2015, 01:28 PM)Donovan Wrote: I'd guess that oral sex for the 44% like Sally is because their partner just didn't know how to play the instrument to make it really hit the highest notes.

I was wondering who would be the first moron to say that. Obviously I know my body better than you.

He said it two days ago upthread to me too.

Let's just face it sally. If only your husband and my lovers were as skilled as Donovan when it comes to women and sex, we'd know what REALLY turned us on physically and mentally.

Ah well........we'll just have to make the best of it and go on ignorantly enjoying our orgasms our own ways.
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#47
Donovan talks as if it's rocket science. Plus if I really did like it and my partner was doing it wrong I would have no problem telling him how to do it right. My husband is a filthy pig, he'll toss my salad if I ask him to.
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#48
heh. Girls get so defensive sometimes. Just because Usain Bolt runs olympic races and the special olympians I work with run races, does NOT mean they are equally talented at running races. Sally's had by her own admission one sexual partner since high school. You don't know fuckall about sexual variety. And HotD is so emotionally repressed and contrarian she'd probably refuse to come no matter who was down there unless someone tricked her into thinking it was her idea. Notice how fast she tried to jump in my shit despite the fact that nowhere did I indicate by name or otherwise that I was the magic tongue her dried up old powdered clitoris needed to really hum. I think the girl has a thing for me and it pisses her off.
Thank god I am oblivious to the opinions of others while caught in the blinding splendor of my own cleverness.
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#49
You're crazy hah.

This is the last time I'm going to tell you, I can't cum unless there is a hard cock or dildo inside me hitting the g-spot. I'm not like User or Ramsey where I can put a showerhead against my vagina and start flopping around like yellow fin tuna having an orgasm. I'd have to stick the whole damn showerhead up there and it's not going to fit.
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#50
I never alluded to your tongue being anywhere near my dried up old powdered clitoris, Donovan.

I only joked of your concern about my sexual non deal-breaker and about you needing to up your game if you're interested in getting reciprocation in the brain crush department. That was in response to your comments and Duchess' comments in the Match thread, as I indicated.

However, you do need to seriously exercise that cranial organ more, based on your last comment. Go back and read the posts again, maestro.

I also never said that I didn't orgasm from oral sex; that's not the case. Sally said that. I mocked your suggestion that my someone and sally's someone must be doing it wrong, which is also not the case.

Anyway, your combination of arrogance and ignorance, in regards to pleasing women, is funny to me. I'm not pissed off. I'm just playing around.
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#51
Clang has been so deprived of pussy I bet he'd go in there like a boss. So your special Olympic comparison doesn't hold up, there is no bigger tard than Clang.
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#52
(05-31-2015, 10:42 PM)Donovan Wrote: Sally's had by her own admission one sexual partner since high school. You don't know fuckall about sexual variety.

And it's looking like he'll be my partner until I drop dead. Something you'll never know anything about because by your own admission a relationship has never worked out for you.

The key to a healthy sexual relationship is to do whatever your partner likes. To a certain extent anyway. That's why I often end up at starbucks in the morning with cum stuck all over my boobs and hair.
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#53
......
Why can't you have your g-spot stimulated during oral sex? Digital manipulation should do the trick. The salad tossing is a nice touch tho, that's a true professional right there.
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#54
(06-01-2015, 12:20 AM)sally Wrote: Clang has been so deprived of pussy I bet he'd go in there like a boss.


Go Clang!
[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]
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#55
User...

How you doin'?
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#56
(06-01-2015, 12:53 AM)sally Wrote:
(05-31-2015, 10:42 PM)Donovan Wrote: Sally's had by her own admission one sexual partner since high school. You don't know fuckall about sexual variety.


The key to a healthy sexual relationship is to do whatever your partner likes. To a certain extent anyway.

That's why I often end up at starbucks in the morning with cum stuck all over my boobs and hair.

What a way to start my day. The first 12 of this made me nod my head and think, no truer words have ben spoken. Then I hit the second 12 and started laughing my fat ass off ! Thanks for the first laugh of the day Sally
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#57
(06-01-2015, 06:51 AM)crash Wrote: User...

How you doin'?

hah
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#58
(05-31-2015, 10:55 PM)sally Wrote: I'd have to stick the whole damn showerhead up there and it's not going to fit.

This shows a real lack of effort hah
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#59
(06-01-2015, 05:49 AM)Duchess Wrote:
(06-01-2015, 12:20 AM)sally Wrote: Clang has been so deprived of pussy I bet he'd go in there like a boss.


Go Clang!
thanks for the vote of confidence but I'd probably just fuck it up like I do most important things I care about and/or enjoy. I'd probably end up biting off sally's labia or something.
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#60
Stop that right now Clang! You are a good guy. She's lucky to gave a sweet guy like you.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt Smiley_emoticons_fies
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