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I saw a goat being born.
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Aww, I love goats. I think they're darling. I've never seen one born but I have seen horses born, dogs & cats too. I don't know if I could watch a human being born.
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There's a farm up the road that is asking for anyone's Christmas trees to feed their goats.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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Goat is good when cooked over a open fire, covered with a BBQ, Orange Juice, Hickory smoke flavoring, Worcestershire sauce and Brown sugar mixture. Just saying.
Beer drinking, gun toting, Bike riding,
womanizing, sex fiend, sexist, asshole !
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Goddamn. Dick eats goat too. I think he cooks it in the ground.
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Goat is pretty tasty. Haven't had it roasted in a while, only way I find it down here is Curry in the Jamaican places
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I don't think we should be eating things that have a face. It's probably bad juju. Really bad.
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I smell a cookout!! Dancingparty
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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(12-29-2016, 02:48 AM)Love Child Wrote: I saw a goat being born.

You're KIDding,right?

Don't bleat me up, I was goating to make this cheesy joke anyway.
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What makes you bored? This forum... Joking. My life in general.

What is the last thing you ate? Food.

How big is your bed? Queen.

Are you an early bird or a night owl? Well I usually get up at night and go to bed around lunchtime so bothishingly.

What colour are your eyes? Blue as the sea and as dreamy as the sky on a sunny summers day.

Do you ever ignore a ringing phone? No one ever rings me. I have no friends. Do you want to be my friend?

Do you like breakfast for dinner? I don't know what either of those things are.

How many keys are on your key ring? Enough to keep wrecking my bloody phone.

Have you ever eaten in bed? NO!!! And if you do you will end up on the floor! Kapeichse?

Do you own a vibrator? Hell yes! More than one. I have 2 holes that vibrators feel nice in!

Do you like to kiss? Yes. Want to kiss?
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Frisky bitch! Sarcastic
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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Have you ever brought home a stray animal?
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(02-22-2017, 12:45 PM)Duchess Wrote:

Have you ever brought home a stray animal?

Yeah like something you'd see in a movie. I brought home this nasty little poodle and my mom had a fit because it had worms and was skidding its ass across the carpet.
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Another time I brought home a cat and it shit all over the house so my mom told me to put it out in the backyard. Mello ate it in front of my eyes. Mello was our mean ass Belgium Shepard and I can't believe I listened to my mom. That was another fucking cat that I killed.
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Lets see as a kid I have brought home:
1-raccoon
2-baby skunks
5- snapping turtles
2-dogs
5-6 cats
2-3 garter snakes
1-midget pony (I found him in the woods)
1-useless drunk
A few other live things I've probably forgotten.


Yeah............... and a pig.

Crap''''''''' a few stupid chickens.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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(02-22-2017, 12:45 PM)Duchess Wrote:

Have you ever brought home a stray animal?

No, that was my mom's thing. She rescued a stray golden retriever(she pissed off the local hunters because she would retrieve their pelts and carcasses for Mom. I also remember the time Heidi ate glow in the dark crayons and pooped glow in the dark poop. The neighbors though aliens landed in our backyard, She died many years ago from cancer) they were going to put to sleep and she took in 3 stray cats from around the neighborhood. Mittens, Muffins, and Tiger. Tiger was the family favorite. He learned how to jump up on the table by the mailbag and ring the doorbell when he wanted to come in. We kept them as house cats so it was extra sad when Tiger ran out in the early morning and got run over by a oick up truck. We had two other stray cats after that. Snowball and Snoopy. Snowball was a loyal cat. I fed him and he slept almost every night by my head.
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(02-22-2017, 11:40 PM)Clang McFly Wrote: ring the doorbell when he wanted to come in.


When I got my last Beagle I bought training bells to hang at the backdoor, I taught her to use them for when she wanted to go out, now my cats ring them to go out. It's the damndest thing to see.
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I had this parrot. When it was hungry I taught it to grab the AK47 from under my bed and go fuck someone up. Fuck that bird used to come home covered in blood with a load of cash. I would then (Knowing it had my gun) go buy it some food. It's the darnedest thing to see.
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I had this gerbil, I'd shove food pellets up my ass and train the gerbil to climb up my sphincter by itself. Its the darnedest thing.
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I had this half alligator half dragon. I trained it to go RAAAARRRRRRRR. It always pooped on the carpet but I wasn't going to try and stop it. Its the darnedest thing.
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