Fucking Lame Jokes thread

[sally]

[sally]

[Maggot]

This is horrible!

"A Farewell to Arms" is Ernest Hemingway's novel about an American soldier in Italy during World War I. He falls in love with a nurse in the hospital, decides to go AWOL, and rows all night with her in a boat from Italy to Switzerland to evade the authorities.

His girl friend was sitting in the stern of the boat, and he was rowing in the middle. At one point he said, "Cath, I love you."

She said, "Pardon?"

He said, "I said I love you."

She still didn't hear him, so he removed an oar from the lock, moved up to the stern, resumed steering the boat from that position, and said again, "I love you."

She said, "I love you too, but why are you standing there sculling when you can do so much better rowing where you were?"

He said, "You are undoubtedly right: I just sculled to say I love you."

[Carsman]

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?



Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

[sally]

Is it just me or are my jokes better than everyone elses?

[Maggot]

Is it just me or are my jokes better than everyone elses?

You illiterate bitch.........read the title!

[Duchess]

[Cynical Ninja]

There was this fucking hick okay? and he couldn't understand the solution of a simple probability problem even though everyone else did, no matter how many times he had it explained him he still couldn't get his milkshake of a brain around the concept that two chances are better one.

The solution gave you a ⁵⁰⁄₅₀ chance followed by another ⁴⁹⁄₅₀ chance, his "solution" only gave you one ⁵⁰⁄₅₀ chance.

Oh wait that wasn't a joke that actually happened in real life.