The NEW and IMPROVED utterly fucking pointless thread

[Middle Finger]

You can eat a lot of it, that's about it, chubby.

[ramseycat]

Were you talking to me???

[Middle Finger]

Settle down, Ramsey. You're starting to struggle. Save some brain cells for Moose's family-friendly phone call later.

[Cynical Ninja]

I make an excellent lasagna.

Unless you an Italian American New Yorker you are a liar.

Authentic Italian cuisine can only be done by Italian New Yorkers, even though wop yanks from New York, Chicago, California, New Haven, Hawaii and Buffalo can't even agree on what a real pizza should be like.

Italian cuisine is very complex even though its the first type of cuisine they teach you in chef school because its so easy and simple a fucking blind monkey could make it.

[Duchess]

I want a blind monkey then.

[Middle Finger]

I'm sure all the best pizzerias are fretting over OP revealing how easy it is to match them.

[Cynical Ninja]

Seriously, I have been making pizza and pasta from scratch since I was 10, it is a piece of piss.

If I am cooking dinnner and I can't really be arsed, Italian is always my default back up plan.

[sally]

I make an excellent lasagna.

Unless you an Italian American New Yorker you are a liar.

Authentic Italian cuisine can only be done by Italian New Yorkers, even though wop yanks from New York, Chicago, California, New Haven, Hawaii and Buffalo can't even agree on what a real pizza should be like.

Italian cuisine is very complex even though its the first type of cuisine they teach you in chef school because its so easy and simple a fucking blind monkey could make it.

Italian cuisine is much more than just lasagna, meatballs, and New York pizza. Thats more of an American wop thing, the same way an all you can eat Chinese buffet is not a good representation of Asian cuisine.

An authentic pizza should be small, thin crisp dough, browned around the edges, sweetly scented from a wood fire, light with toppings to maintain their freshness, and baked between 600-700 degrees. Francis can argue with me about Italian food all he wants, but I don't have an imported Italian brick oven in my kitchen just to dick around with lasagna.

[Cynical Ninja]

I know there is more to Italian cuisine than pasta and shit.

Pizza isn't even a fucking italian invention anyway, the greeks and the romans covered flatbreads with olive oil, herbs and vegetables and meats, the only Italian innovation was adding melted cheese on top.

Your authentic pizza sounds authentic to me but there are a host of wops in Chicago and other american cities that would dispute that.

[ramseycat]

Sally, I do believe I need to come down there and sample some dishes from your authentic wood oven.

[sally]

Sally, I do believe I need to come down there and sample some dishes from your authentic wood oven.

I will cook you a steak seared to perfection over 1800 degree wood coals and homemade Italian bread. Now I know that none of us are qualified to judge food, so you might just want to go to Frank's place instead for some junky old stuffed shells that were left in his fridge from last week.

[Middle Finger]

Fuck that, I changed my mind after reading this shit. I want an invite, Sally.

[ramseycat]

Sally, I do believe I need to come down there and sample some dishes from your authentic wood oven.

I will cook you a steak seared to perfection over 1800 degree wood coals and homemade Italian bread. Now I know that none of us are qualified to judge food, so you might just want to go to Frank's place instead for some junky old stuffed shells that were left in his fridge from last week.

That sounds delish! I have the feeling you are an amazing cook. Do you come by that naturally? Have you ever taken a cooking class? I have always wanted to take a class. Even if I don't learn anything, eating the dishes will be worth it. LOL

[sally]

Sally, I do believe I need to come down there and sample some dishes from your authentic wood oven.

I will cook you a steak seared to perfection over 1800 degree wood coals and homemade Italian bread. Now I know that none of us are qualified to judge food, so you might just want to go to Frank's place instead for some junky old stuffed shells that were left in his fridge from last week.

That sounds delish! I have the feeling you are an amazing cook. Do you come by that naturally? Have you ever taken a cooking class? I have always wanted to take a class. Even if I don't learn anything, eating the dishes will be worth it. LOL

I've never taken a cooking class, but I did cook in a couple of restaurants. I worked for an older lady who was a chef for the Italian Olympics and I learned a lot from her, she cooked everything from Italian to Indian cuisine. I could kick myself for not learning how she made her Greek soup. I've had it at other restaurants and have tried to duplicate it, but it just not the same as hers.

[Middle Finger]

I don't want to know any of that soup chicken chatty crap Ramsey asked. I just want to know the menu choices and when I should show up.

[sally]

I don't want to know any of that soup chicken chatty crap Ramsey asked. I just want to know the menu choices and when I should show up.

You can come over for a steak, but you will not be allowed to put Peter Lugar sauce on it so don't even bother bringing it along with you.

[ramseycat]

Frances shut up. The grown ups are talking.

[Middle Finger]

Sally, understood. I will just bring Peter Luger sauce to dump on Ramsey in hopes of making her somewhat attractive.

[Lady Cop]

that's it MF!! a bottle of PL sauce for your avatar! anything but that faggoty tree! :B

[Middle Finger]

OK, I will change it now.