Females need to be raised to be self sufficient & I really don't understand why some parents don't get that, it's so important. I have a man in my life because I want one not because I need one. Men are to be enjoyed not counted on to handle things the chick either can't or doesn't know how to.

(01-13-2011, 09:02 AM)Duchess Wrote:

Females need to be raised to be self sufficient & I really don't understand why some parents don't get that, it's so important. I have a man in my life because I want one not because I need one. Men are to be enjoyed not counted on to handle things the chick either can't or doesn't know how to.

Most men are takers! My sister is married to a man that is using her and they are in sooooo much debt its not funny. They have the house, the cars, ballet lessons for the child and are now looking around for a private school for her. The thing is, they dont own any of it its all owned by the bank. My sister is good at managing money but with this man in her life he is using her and they are broke and full of themselves to boot. I don't have a relationship with her because of him but my mother tells me all the goss.

Its a nice liberating feeling being in the black but if i had some guy in my life guaranteed he would be on the take.

(01-13-2011, 08:57 AM)ramseycat Wrote: At 48 she is embarassed that she slept with a guy?? So don't sleep with him. And don't use him to get stuff done for you.

I wouldn't admit to fucking ugly dudes, either. Why not use them if they are grown? They know what the deal is. If they repair the fence, they get laid. When the fence is fixed, they move on. No harm, no foul. If you are over 30 and are being victimized, it is your OWN fault.

(01-13-2011, 05:44 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: Most men are takers! My sister is married to a man that is using her and they are in sooooo much debt its not funny. They have the house, the cars, ballet lessons for the child and are now looking around for a private school for her. The thing is, they dont own any of it its all owned by the bank. My sister is good at managing money but with this man in her life he is using her and they are broke and full of themselves to boot. I don't have a relationship with her because of him but my mother tells me all the goss.

I'm surprised you work in mental health and you allow yourself to blame your sister's husband like it is ALL him. If your sister were truly good at managing money, she would put her foot down and not be spending to keep up an imagined status. Be honest with yourself about this if you intend to find some sort of resolution. If you would rather pretend it is ALL your brother-in-law, your choice.

I have a friend who once called her then fiancee to walk her to her car after a cooking class. It was early evening and she was skeered. She was horrified when I went away for trips without my husband--said she couldn't imagine spending one night apart from her husband, blah, blah.

In a strange/sad twist of fate, he's not yet 50 and is reaching the end of a battle with Lou Gehrig's disease. She's had to bathe him, help him to the toilet, take over managing their finances etc. etc. To her credit, she's risen to her responsibilities. I doubt she'll ever "need" a man to walk her to her car again. I certainly hope not.

(01-13-2011, 05:55 PM)Cracker Wrote:

(01-13-2011, 05:44 PM)aussiefriend Wrote: Most men are takers! My sister is married to a man that is using her and they are in sooooo much debt its not funny. They have the house, the cars, ballet lessons for the child and are now looking around for a private school for her. The thing is, they dont own any of it its all owned by the bank. My sister is good at managing money but with this man in her life he is using her and they are broke and full of themselves to boot. I don't have a relationship with her because of him but my mother tells me all the goss.

I'm surprised you work in mental health and you allow yourself to blame your sister's husband like it is ALL him. If your sister were truly good at managing money, she would put her foot down and not be spending to keep up an imagined status. Be honest with yourself about this if you intend to find some sort of resolution. If you would rather pretend it is ALL your brother-in-law, your choice.

oh god if only it were that simple! there is co-dependence issues there and abuse. its so complex and hard to write in one paragraph. he takes the piss out of our family and disrespects my mother and other members of my family whilst his family is gold. he will only speak to his daughter in french oh yes he is french! my sister is in denial and i think worn down from years of it.

Look its hard when you are in a relationship where someone is using you. Because they dont come out and say it. they say "i love you" and all that crap. If anything my working in mental health has given me a clearer insight into the behaviours and agendas that are going on. I hope it all ends one day and i can report that it is all over.

his mother hates my sister and she is like camilla parker bowles in the marriage trying to break them up. were as our family, even though we know he is not good for her, its her choice and we are staying out of it, and will be there to support her if this drama ever ends.

My family live in queensland and mum had to spend a couple of days there recently because of the floods and she said they fought like cat and dog.

sorry to bore you with the gory details.

It isn't boring. It is a little sad. She'll get sick of it. Eventually. She'll grow to despise the mother-in-law first, then will see her husband is the mother's son.

Don't marry French. Everybody should know this.

(01-14-2011, 02:53 AM)Cracker Wrote: It isn't boring. It is a little sad. She'll get sick of it. Eventually. She'll grow to despise the mother-in-law first, then will see her husband is the mother's son.

Don't marry French. Everybody should know this.

oh my sister and the mother in law already hate each other with a passion.

Also I have found shit about him on the internet looking for other females, dirty bastard.

(01-06-2011, 11:48 PM)Cracker Wrote: Dick has lost his fucking mind. Some of us fight back, Dick. I dare some man to try to tell me what to do. My boss doesn't even do that shit.

Put some high heels and ripped shorts on, then shut the fuck up.

(01-14-2011, 10:19 AM)Middle Finger Wrote:

(01-06-2011, 11:48 PM)Cracker Wrote: Dick has lost his fucking mind. Some of us fight back, Dick. I dare some man to try to tell me what to do. My boss doesn't even do that shit.

Put some high heels and ripped shorts on, then shut the fuck up.

I have been snowed in all week. If I put on my shorts right now, they would fucking rip. hahahahahaha

(01-14-2011, 02:33 PM)Cracker Wrote:

(01-14-2011, 10:19 AM)Middle Finger Wrote:

(01-06-2011, 11:48 PM)Cracker Wrote: Dick has lost his fucking mind. Some of us fight back, Dick. I dare some man to try to tell me what to do. My boss doesn't even do that shit.

Put some high heels and ripped shorts on, then shut the fuck up.

I have been snowed in all week. If I put on my shorts right now, they would fucking rip. hahahahahaha

We as females have to just figure out how NOT to be needy. I know there are things I do not know about car repair, but my husband does. But I know enough to recognise when my car is not acting right. But since most service techs will assume that I do not know anything, I will ask my husband for the correct technical car words to use when bringing my car in for repair..so it will at least appear I know what I am talking about. Does this make me needy? I do not think so, just smart enough to know what I need to do to at least sound like I know what I am talking about.

(01-15-2011, 03:15 PM)QueenBee Wrote: We as females have to just figure out how NOT to be needy.

Say what?

(01-15-2011, 03:15 PM)QueenBee Wrote: We as females have to just figure out how NOT to be needy. I know there are things I do not know about car repair, but my husband does. But I know enough to recognise when my car is not acting right. But since most service techs will assume that I do not know anything, I will ask my husband for the correct technical car words to use when bringing my car in for repair..so it will at least appear I know what I am talking about. Does this make me needy? I do not think so, just smart enough to know what I need to do to at least sound like I know what I am talking about.

I think you are wrong in your thinking. Tits and a tight shirt are the best solution to a car problem. Never show up to a repair shop looking like shit. If that isn't an option, make your husband go. They won't try to bullshit your husband.

I have a good mechanic whom I trust. I don't pretend I know how to do everything myself, I just find decent people to hire when I do need help. Half of the men nowadays don't know how to fix cars, either.

Tits and a tight shirt may work when you are 20...but not when you are old enough to have a 20 year old grand daughter.

Duchess..when I said we have to learn not to be needy....I speak of the women who insist on playing dumb just because they are female, or thinking we cannot do something because we are female.
I'm from the generation where my mom pretty much bred into me that we are needy..we are here to look for a husband, and to aspire to be a housewife.
Heaven forbid I thought about sex when I was living with her...she would be shitting if she knew that last night hubby and I wantched a thing on HBO about the history of Porn.

(01-15-2011, 03:50 PM)QueenBee Wrote: she would be shitting if she knew that last night hubby and I wantched a thing on HBO about the history of Porn.

*gasp* You shameless hussy.

(01-15-2011, 03:50 PM)QueenBee Wrote:
Duchess..when I said we have to learn not to be needy....I speak of the women who insist on playing dumb just because they are female, or thinking we cannot do something because we are female.
I'm from the generation where my mom pretty much bred into me that we are needy..we are here to look for a husband, and to aspire to be a housewife.
Heaven forbid I thought about sex when I was living with her...she would be shitting if she knew that last night hubby and I wantched a thing on HBO about the history of Porn.

This is what Dick goes on and on about. Now everything is all messed up now because women want to be more than housepets...

I don't think there is anything wrong with staying home and not working. I think how lovely that would be most mornings when I get up for work. I don't think I could just clean house and watch soap operas, though. If I could continue my studies while I bumped around the house cleaning a little, gardening, cooking, etc., I would probably be quite content. I do all the housework now and work, so that isn't the problem. If someone TOLD me what I had to do, that would be a problem. Or if I was expected to serve someone. I guess it all depends on the attitude of the man you marry.

(01-15-2011, 04:13 PM)Cracker Wrote:

(01-15-2011, 03:50 PM)QueenBee Wrote:
Duchess..when I said we have to learn not to be needy....I speak of the women who insist on playing dumb just because they are female, or thinking we cannot do something because we are female.
I'm from the generation where my mom pretty much bred into me that we are needy..we are here to look for a husband, and to aspire to be a housewife.
Heaven forbid I thought about sex when I was living with her...she would be shitting if she knew that last night hubby and I wantched a thing on HBO about the history of Porn.

This is what Dick goes on and on about. Now everything is all messed up now because women want to be more than housepets...

No they don't they just think they do because of societal pressure to be more than what they should be.

It's in the gene's and no matter what outside influences women are to weak to resist, inside they aren't happy, they aren't content, and they certianly aren't doing what nature intended them to do, thus no fullfillment no true happiness, and no contentment, they do fool themselves into believing they are happy, but the divorce rate instigated by the woman say different.

(01-15-2011, 04:34 PM)IMaDick Wrote:

(01-15-2011, 04:13 PM)Cracker Wrote:

(01-15-2011, 03:50 PM)QueenBee Wrote:
Duchess..when I said we have to learn not to be needy....I speak of the women who insist on playing dumb just because they are female, or thinking we cannot do something because we are female.
I'm from the generation where my mom pretty much bred into me that we are needy..we are here to look for a husband, and to aspire to be a housewife.
Heaven forbid I thought about sex when I was living with her...she would be shitting if she knew that last night hubby and I wantched a thing on HBO about the history of Porn.

This is what Dick goes on and on about. Now everything is all messed up now because women want to be more than housepets...

No they don't they just think they do because of societal pressure to be more than what they should be.

It's in the gene's and no matter what outside influences women are to weak to resist, inside they aren't happy, they aren't content, and they certianly aren't doing what nature intended them to do, thus no fullfillment no true happiness, and no contentment, they do fool themselves into believing they are happy, but the divorce rate instigated by the woman say different.

You can't refer to a statistic without supplying it. How many women instigate divorces compared to men? What does that have to say about fault? To me it just speaks to who has to pay the filing fee.

I'm so glad there is a man out there who knows the heart of a woman (even though he claims to have a penis). /s

(01-15-2011, 04:34 PM)IMaDick Wrote: It's in the gene's and no matter what outside influences women are to weak to resist, inside they aren't happy, they aren't content, and they certianly aren't doing what nature intended them to do, thus no fullfillment no true happiness, and no contentment, they do fool themselves into believing they are happy

Hahaha! Take my word for it, Dick, I'm pretty fuckin' happy & content.

I can hardly believe some of the shit that comes out of your mouth. Jesus Christ.