(12-19-2018, 02:03 PM)sally Wrote: What do you mean what do you do with it? Its already prepared. Slice it up and serve it with fruit, crackers and wine. Or just shove it up your ass.

(12-19-2018, 03:20 PM)Clang McFly Wrote:

What are you laughing at?  

Not you. Just laughing at sally being her usual funny self.

(12-19-2018, 05:43 PM)Clang McFly Wrote: Not you. Just laughing at sally being her usual funny self.

Aww, lighten up, Clangy, I was messin' with you.  

(12-19-2018, 05:46 PM)Duchess Wrote:

(12-19-2018, 05:43 PM)Clang McFly Wrote: Not you. Just laughing at sally being her usual funny self.

Aww, lighten up, Clangy, I was messin' with you.  

Yeah I know.

I think Maggot mentioned that he was going to order a vegetable or fruit platter from the grocery store. I hope you know what to do with it, Maggot. Otherwise my only advise is to shove it up your ass.

Sally's our culinary expert and I'm not trying to step on her toes here.

I just want to add to her good advice so no one ends up at the proctologist on Christmas Eve.

1.  Before you shove the platter goodies up your asses, be sure to remove any toothpicks from bite-sized pieces to avoid bloody taint or rectal perforations.    

2.  Avoid trying to shove the finger foods up your asses while standing upright.  Lying down on the floor slightly turned to the side is by far the least messy and wasteful technique for shoving food up one's ass.

Here's an example of the proper technique for reference.

Sarah was a modern dancer,
lean pristine transparency.
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency.
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots.
Brenda's strange obsession
was for certain vegetables and fruits.

I like The Nails, especially "88 Lines".




I like the Butthole Surfers even more and always felt like they kinda riffed off The Nails.  "Pepper".

(12-19-2018, 11:36 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: bloody taint or rectal perforations.

Bloody Taint and the Rectal Perforations was a great British punk band. Widely criticized ass being too anal log.

The did welcome the digital.

(12-20-2018, 12:31 AM)Clang McFly Wrote:

(12-19-2018, 11:36 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: bloody taint or rectal perforations.

Bloody Taint and the Rectal Perforations was a great British punk band. Widely criticized ass being too anal log.

  

Yeah, too bad BTRP never really caught on with the haughty digital assholes in the U.S.

Sally, 

Why does "Ghostbusters" and "I want a new drug" sound the same? When I hear Huey Lewis i want a hot chocolate w/marshmallow. 

(12-19-2018, 09:52 PM)sally Wrote: I think Maggot mentioned that he was going to order a vegetable or fruit platter from the grocery store. I hope you know what to do with it, Maggot. Otherwise my only advise is to shove it up your ass.

I'm not sharing it, get your own. And it's a fruit platter, what does it matter, you just chitter chatter, your brains in tatters, its just a platter!

(12-20-2018, 08:08 PM)Maggot Wrote:

(12-19-2018, 09:52 PM)sally Wrote: I think Maggot mentioned that he was going to order a vegetable or fruit platter from the grocery store. I hope you know what to do with it, Maggot. Otherwise my only advise is to shove it up your ass.

I'm not sharing it, get your own. And it's a fruit platter, what does it matter, you just chitter chatter, your brains in tatters, its just a platter!

https://youtu.be/rQGrQPZMLK8

(12-20-2018, 05:09 PM)Maggot Wrote: Sally, 

Why does "Ghostbusters" and "I want a new drug" sound the same? When I hear Huey Lewis i want a hot chocolate w/marshmallow. 

This is one of those questions you can only answer for yourself. In the meantime don't be afraid of no ghosts because they'll probably be visiting your crotchety old ass in the next few days.

(12-19-2018, 11:36 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Sally's our culinary expert and I'm not trying to step on her toes here.

I just want to add to her good advice so no one ends up at the proctologist on Christmas Eve.

1.  Before you shove the platter goodies up your asses, be sure to remove any toothpicks from bite-sized pieces to avoid bloody taint or rectal perforations.    

2.  Avoid trying to shove the finger foods up your asses while standing upright.  Lying down on the floor slightly turned to the side is by far the least messy and wasteful technique for shoving food up one's ass.

Here's an example of the proper technique for reference.

Don't worry about stepping on my toes, worry about the next shrimp platter you order. If you find yourself looking down at it and thinking "what in the hell do I do with this thing", you must carefully insert one at a time. Hopefully it's not more than a dozen. After that it's the cocktail sauce, but lets deal with that later.

(12-20-2018, 08:56 PM)sally Wrote:

(12-20-2018, 05:09 PM)Maggot Wrote: Sally, 

Why does "Ghostbusters" and "I want a new drug" sound the same? When I hear Huey Lewis i want a hot chocolate w/marshmallow. 

This is one of those questions you can only answer for yourself. In the meantime don't be afraid of no ghosts because they'll probably be visiting your crotchety old ass in the next few days.

You're anal fixation is beginning to worry me. Perhaps you need some Preparation-H or maybe an intervention.

Sally the Starfish whisperer.

(12-21-2018, 12:22 AM)sally Wrote: Don't worry about stepping on my toes, worry about the next shrimp platter you order. If you find yourself looking down at it and thinking "what in the hell do I do with this thing", you must carefully insert one at a time. Hopefully it's not more than a dozen. After that it's the cocktail sauce, but lets deal with that later.

I squeeze lemon juice on shrimp, no cocktail sauce.

I won't be shoving any acidic fruit or shrimp up my ass anyway though.

When I look down at a shrimp platter, there's no thought involved -- I just start shoving the little suckers in my mouth and stick whatever's left in the fridge.