Official Chicken-Off

[Cracker]

I really enjoy the fresh conch salad they make for you along that dock in the Bahamas. Atlantis area. They pull those suckers out fresh from the water right there, cut up fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions, spice it up, citris juice ... nice, fresh, conch salad!

Because conch is phallic. That means "cock-like" for the dumb people...

[Cracker]

It's OK, I'm almost bored with this. I was just loading the panel before people find my stupid shit. Or else I am a 13 year old trapped in a middle-aged body. Not sure.

I just acquainted myself with the reputation feature on this site. As if I don't waste enough time on the computer. I think I'll pass on paying attention to that (sorry, no cute little messages from me--I'm sure that will break hearts, lol). I'll revel in my negative reputation.

[Eat Shit And Die]

both?

[Cracker]

both?

Yeah, probably. I never grew all the way up for some reason. I think because I smoked so much pot in my lifetime. I smoked for a good twenty years. You can never completely un-think some of the great ideas you have when you are high.

If I weren't subject to drug screens, I would still alter my view. Can't wait to retire.

[Eat Shit And Die]

Become a tradie get as high as you fucking want.

[Cracker]

I really like holly. I stuff it, along with evergreen branches, in several of the planters around my main entrance. Mistletoe grows in the tops of the trees here & we literally shoot it off the tree, it doesn't last too long though so, I prefer to hang the faux stuff instead.

[Cracker]

Like I've said many times before you can pretend to be anything you like on the internet without any evidence, I am possibly the only person in the history of the net that is 100% honest about himself.

I'm not a world class kickboxer, with a 12" diamond dick and the keys to the city but I could very easily claim to be, I am an unemployed house husband with mental health problems.

[Cracker]

Become a tradie get as high as you fucking want.

My brother is a cop. And I'm afraid of jail. And I can only poop at home.

So I have to work instead.

[sally]

Hahahahahahahahaha I found a funny one for sally, but I think I'll PM it instead. Hahahahaha

No one got hurt in the making of that post, besides for my liver and brain cells, and the stupid dog who I kicked in the ass for shitting in the middle of the sidewalk.

[ZEROSPHERES]

OP says: I'm not a world class kickboxer, with a 12" diamond dick and the keys to the city but I could very easily claim to be, I am an unemployed house husband with mental health problems.

Cracker, How were you able to ferret that gem out from yesteryear?
I see the date of his quote is 10-31-2008 12:07 PM

[Cracker]

I was looking for dirt on Duchess, but she doesn't fuck up much. What am I going to make fun of her about? Designing multi-million dollar homes? Loving her pets? Enjoying her life? I was going to tease LC, but I just love her too much. I get pissed when people are pissy to her, so I sure as hell won't do it. Besides, I think the men are bigger soup chickens than the ladies overall. Except for me making cleaning supplies. That is pretty soupy.

Plus, some of the old stuff isn't very nice or funny, so I didn't want to drag it back into existence.

It's like divorce papers: Leave it in the drawer.

[Lady Cop]

in true soup-chicken tradition, i have to tell you Cracker that i actually have it written on my calendar to tell you----> order your turkey gravy base from Williams-Sonoma NOW! hahahahaha
their new Thanksgiving catalog is fabulous!


copied from recipe thread:

i know it's early, but i recommend this every Autumn...it flies out of the stores and is gone in October. it is the absolute BEST turkey gravy base you ever used, and when i say it's better than my own, believe me!
i buy enough for the entire Fall and Winter.
direct link below


and while you're at it, go bake the cookies in post #1~~

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/?cm_type=gnav



Making the gravy for your Thanksgiving feast can be challenging when you're trying to juggle numerous last-minute cooking tasks. Success is assured when you have our savory base on hand.

Simply add milk, simmer and serve.
Use the base to enrich your own homemade gravy.
1 lb., 2 oz. (makes 4 cups of gravy).
A Williams-Sonoma exclusive.

here:
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/...rchRules-_-

[pspence]

[quote='Cynical Ninja' pid='7420' dateline='1216307431']
As for homosexuality,everybody goes through a period of sexual confusion during puberty, everybody. Those that say they didn't are either closetgays or sexual repressed morons, I went through a brief period of confusion, but this process only reinforced my obvious heterosexuality.

have to disagree ...i was never confused...not for a single second...in lst grade, i used to kiss little boys in the cloak room.

[Duchess]

Here ya go sweaty balls.

http://www.askdeb.com/blog/coupons/chex-mix-coupons/

Thanks, Dick. I'm going to the store in a minute.

[IMaDick]

Here ya go sweaty balls.

http://www.askdeb.com/blog/coupons/chex-mix-coupons/

Thanks, Dick. I'm going to the store in a minute.

[Duchess]

That was a good snag. I watched it go down.

[Duchess]

It's going to be a long time before I get over her giving me that stuffed chicken thing.

[Cracker]

Here ya go sweaty balls.

http://www.askdeb.com/blog/coupons/chex-mix-coupons/

Thanks, Dick. I'm going to the store in a minute.

Fucker.

I didn't buy Chex. I DID buy stuff for taco soup. The lady told me it is supposed to have corn in it, too, but I didn't get the corn. I'll let you know how it is since you PM'd me about it the other day and offered your cornbread recipe...

[Cracker]

It's going to be a long time before I get over her giving me that stuffed chicken thing.

I kinda liked that chicken. If I weren't trying to simplify, I would buy one. Just to remind me to STFU.

Since Dick already outed me, I have to mention this: I pulled a muscle behind my breast when a football player picked me up too fast and it hurts like a mutherfucker. It hurts when I sleep and when I breathe. Three days now. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I would have kicked his ass, but he told me to stop whining. Little (big) fucker.

[Duchess]

Shit. I forgot to add the downy.