My name is...

[Donovan]

I had to go back and find out if we'd crossed at some point. Frankly I didn't find much. Obvious you and Donovan are getting along smashingly. Maybe I'll make out with you or something. Not sure yet. Are you hot? I only ask because I'm pretty shallow.

I don't consider myself all that physically attractive, but I'm reasonably intelligent, I have a strong warped sense of humor and people typically find me to be nice. At least that's what I claim in the singles ads. It's what's inside that counts and contributes to one's hotness, right? I'm cool with Donovan; just mocking. We do that here.

About the making out with me, will have to take a pass. I'm sure you're a lovely man though.

I just found your pics. At least it says they're you. We could probably do some damage.

Ah, fuck it. I thought you were a virgin? Save the damage, mister. Donovan already gave me shit about having a bit of a duckish face and damaged my self esteem irreparably.

That was only flirting, but my imaginary girlfriend is the jealous type. She also cooks for me and can stay awake longer and knows where the sharp stuff is, so I make it a rule not to piss her off. I don't flirt any more.

Then I also don't flirt any less, but that's just splitting hairs.