THE 'WHO'S TO BLAME?' THREAD

[blueberryhill]

Children need guidance from the day they are born you do not attempt to change their attitude when they are teenagers you start when they are born. An adult cannot be lazy and let the television raise their kids. Morality and respect are learned not imbedded in DNA.

Kids can sometimes be taught the best of morals and respect and that still isn't a cure all for the "perfect" kid. Witness the many children of clergy whose children rebel against all those morals and values.....And I disagree, some components of personality can have a genetic origin, i.e., if you study the childhood of sociopaths or psychopaths, their "symptoms" usually start in childhood regardless of environment. Many mental health disorders (including personality traits) are inherited...Who among us have plopped our kid down in front of a TV when we are extra busy...If they don't watch TV, then parent has to engage child in some activity. Today, usually both parents work, and don't have the time to do this, sadly......Around the age of 11 to 12, your child starts to pull away from parents and that is when their peers take over in being the largest influence in their life. God forbid, but they start hanging out with the "wrong" crowd....Doesn't mean you are a bad parent, just that their are too many outside influences in today's world, video games, some of which are very violent, all teenagers have smart phones and access to computers which can put them in harm's way....You are a good person and have passed on your values to this child, but suddenly they go off in another direction....I have seen many frustrated parents completely at a loss on what to do. They ask for help from resources in the community, but one office refers them to another office and so on and they never get any help. This would be the extreme...
In this case, extremely poor judgment was used but when dealing with a crisis (everything is a crisis for a 13 year old), you aren't thinking clearly. This woman is in deep pain from the loss of her daughter.
If you have the perfect child, then please give yourself a pat on the back and tell us your secret....again, I would guess it would be the luck of the draw....You cannot automatically assume that a "bad" child is the fault of the parents....too many outside influences plus genetics which decides final destiny of child.