hypothetical: calling all evil vagina monsters

[Blindgreed1]

LOL if only I had some sort of jedi mind tricks to get me out of this.

You need a stable home life. Find a decent apartment, preferably in an old Victorian, they have tons of charm and maybe a fireplace and lots of built-ins for all your books. Buy a crockpot so dinner is cooking while you're at work and it smells divine when you come in after a long day. Get some nice bedding *wiggles eyebrows* and use vanilla plugins throughout your new home. Smells are a mindfuck, don't forget that, it can be good or it can be bad, you want good.

What exactly do you look for in a woman? Are your expectations too high and no woman, no where, will ever meet them?

That's where I'm headed. There's a place right on the Erie Canal, across from a pioneer cemetery and in a landmark revolutionary period building. Old buildings just feel more solid to me. Gonna put up my books and invest in some comfort for a change. I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up living in a hovel under a damn tree like pop.

As for expectations, damned if I know. I've tried every kind of woman, and clearly I have not successfully picked one yet. Hell I even thought about trying men, but sausage gives me heartburn. I'm not particularly visual or physical in my criteria, and I seem to favor mentally stimulating and challenging women. Strong minded is a must, I'm a stubborn bastard although I know it doesn't show up in my writing . I truly fear my upbringing has permanently screwed me out of ever doing normal, because I can't wrap my head around normal. No frame of reference. All I can do is keep tallying up the shit they scream at me on the way out, so I can get a clearer picture of what they all seem to agree on.

Stubborn bastard
Childish asshole (probably unfair and I will hold my breath until they take it back)
Coldblooded and emotionless
Condescending prick
Infuriatingly Blunt
Always a million miles away (that's the ADD)
Inflexible and unmovable.
Brutally Honest (this is not a compliment. I apparently say what I am thinking even if I shouldn't)
Circle Talker (that's new, but refers to the vocabulary and the ability to out argue a female. You girls really hate that)
Fucking autistic spectrum jackass(she was really pissed but sometime I wonder)

There are more. But Sally will just say I'm humble-bragging. Mostly I seem to be impossible to live with for any length of time. Unless you're five. Kids love me.

Maybe you have some things to work out first before you try to have a relationship Dono?