WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?

[sally]

Aussie is crazy .

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, we will just have to disagree then, my friend aussie.

There's a bra-burning shindig down at the City Hall this morning, so I've gotta shake a leg.

Then, I'm off to rally for the legalization of prostitution. I'd like to see the world's oldest profession legitimatized and removed from the dark corners; taxed and regulated to minimize the exploitation of minors and spreading of disease.

Ruff ruff...

[Midwest Spy]

Reading Aussie and HotD ism's all morning is giving me the brain pain.

As Nuke Laloosh so eloquently asked a long time ago:

"So, is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?"

I mean, that's what this thread is really about.

[HairOfTheDog]

I can see how your brain could be in such distress from reading, MS.

Stick with presuming to know how people feel and just throwing out your comments based upon that. Ignorance is lazy bliss, for some.

I don't know if somebody is going to bed with somebody this morning, but I'd bet it's too early for all the women here to have propositioned and been rejected by the other 695 registered Mock members and made it down to the bottom three in the chain.

So, no need for you to break out the pump just yet.

[Midwest Spy]

I can see how your brain could be in such distress from reading, MS.

Stick with presuming to know how people feel and just throwing out your responses based upon that. Ignorance is lazy bliss, for some.

I don't know if somebody is going to bed with somebody this morning, but I'd bet it's too early for all the women here to have propositioned and been rejected by the other 695 registered Mock members and made it down to the bottom three in the chain.

So, no need for you to break out the pump just yet.

I sure can get you whipped up quickly.

Ha! I enjoy that.

I enjoy sliding in Bull Durham references whenever possible.

Figured you'd have picked up on that by now.

BTW, if I'm in the bottom 3, I'd like to just take the #1 Overall ranking. No more being lumped in with Clang and Ninja.

I'm the Bottom of the Barrel.

Much appreciated.

[sally]

Reading Aussie and HotD ism's all morning is giving me the brain pain.

Your brain pain is more likely from your wife throwing a hot cup of coffee at your head.

[Midwest Spy]

Reading Aussie and HotD ism's all morning is giving me the brain pain.

Your brain pain is more likely from your wife throwing a hot cup of coffee at your head.

Actually, 'brain pain' is another movie quote I've been dying to use, if you must know.

From 'The Waterboy'.

Kathy Bates says it to Adam Sandler when Fonzerella is trying to recruit Sandler to play on his football team.

I'm slowly but surely learning my lesson.

I need to stop quoting guy movies with you ladies.

BTW, the coffee wasn't nearly as hot as I thought it'd be.

[HairOfTheDog]

The bad news:
Sorry, MS. You couldn't get me whipped up, quickly or slowly, with a crate full of Reddi-wip at your disposal.

The good news:
You have already earned that #1 Overall Ranking that you claim to desire.



Midwest Spy: #1 Least Desirable Mock Member - 2013

[Midwest Spy]

I enjoy collecting trophies.

Thanks.

[sally]

Since we cant really give you a trophy, here is a certificate to print out and hang on your fridge.

[Midwest Spy]

^^That took some effort, and I'd like to let you know it's not unappreciated.

From this point forward I will strive to retain that title for as many years as possible (or until my looks and attitude improve).

I hope to remain a major prick for as long as possible.

[Maggot]

I would give you the golden banana award with a free membership to here if i wasn't so damn cheap.

[HairOfTheDog]

"I do it on purpose."

Clutch that rationalization if it makes you feel better, MS.

But, you didn't win the "biggest prick" award. Almost all of us regulars, male and female, are pricks. In my opinion.

There are much bigger pricks than you lining the halls of Mock.

You won the "least sexually desirable" award.

And, you're a nice looking man with a decent attitude, so that's not it either.

I could tell you why you're on the bottom of the chain, from my perspective. But, I'm not that big of a prick and we both know that it's intrinsic; you'd have to strive to lose the title, not to retain it. Why strive when you can laze?

[Midwest Spy]

"I do it on purpose."

You won the "least sexually desirable" award.

And, you're a nice looking man with a decent attitude, so that's not it either.

I could tell you why you're on the bottom of the chain, from my perspective.

It's that old IBS rearing its ugly head again, right?

Lack of romanticism?

A story from 25 years ago when I was completely naive and didn't realize I should've offered the girl some cash after we were done?

Halitosis?

What???

[Midwest Spy]

I would give you the golden banana award with a free membership to here if i wasn't so damn cheap.

I appreciate the gesture.

[sally]

The IBS is a bit of a turn off.

[ZEROSPHERES]

You won the "least sexually desirable" award.

And Here Is Your Prize!!

MS, It's time for that much needed vacation from Mock. Here is your traveling companion and someone who will have sex with you. Packed in his carry-on are all the necessary toys for a memorable and carefree week's vacation. Enjoy yourself....

Compliments of the Ladies of Mock and Reddi-Wip

[HairOfTheDog]

I'd probably miss MS if he was on vacation from Mock.

I think he should spend his vacation right here; in Honest Therapy.

His new companion is welcome.

It's not like anyone would judge or give MS a hard time (well, except for Captain Stockings) if he lets it all hang out here.

We're here to help, MS. Sincerely. Relax, kick your shoes off, tell us your innermost thoughts...

[ZEROSPHERES]

MS and Captain Stockings could post from the 'Travelling Mockers' thread and post their pics in the 'Stuff with Nudity' thread. So I guess his vacation is not a vacation from Mock but a change of perspective. Like stepping away from being under the shadow of one tree and seeing the whole forest. I'm sure Captain Stockings would enjoy his versatility and self-effacing apologies when he misses the bullseye and we would enjoy his daily reports.

[HairOfTheDog]

It's that old IBS rearing its ugly head again, right?

Lack of romanticism?

A story from 25 years ago when I was completely naive and didn't realize I should've offered the girl some cash after we were done?

Halitosis?

What???

I'm messing with you, MS.

I don't know if you're at the bottom of the collective Mock chain; no secret poll was taken.

I tell you when I think you're being a dweeb as we go along, so I can't tell you anything from my perspective that you haven't heard before.

Putting personality aside, just a guess when it comes to general physical desirability. Probably not a lot of women put Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Halitosis at the top of their turn-on lists. BUT, there are fetishists for everything out there, somewhere...