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I read an article a while back about some of the strangest jobs available. I think you'd be perfect for one of them, user.
You've got loads of related experience  , there's a level of risk and excitement involved so you won't get bored too quickly, it probably pays a little better than that balloon fetish webcam porn you dabbled in, and you'd be helping your fellow man.
@username, the professional Snake Milker?
Snake venom is an elixir of mother nature, packed full of special powers that can be turned into drugs to treat all kinds of conditions (including a poisonous snake bite). But someone needs to collect that venom by hand, gently squeezing out the juices.
What You'll Get Paid: According to JobMonkey.com, the average salary is $2,500 a month.
I think you should go for it, unless somebody else has a better suggestion?
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I will gladly put my job search on hold and let User take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
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I've seen snake milking done & it's how I always imagine MS gettin' a piece of ass. He holds her head juuuuust right & then fucks like a bunny.
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(10-13-2013, 12:00 PM)Duchess Wrote:
I've seen snake milking done & it's how I always imagine MS gettin' a piece of ass. He holds her head juuuuust right & then fucks like a bunny.
Oh my God! HAHAHAHAHA
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
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(10-13-2013, 12:00 PM)Duchess Wrote: I've seen snake milking done...
I'd never seen it done; just watched a couple of videos.
I like snakes a lot. It's a cool job and in high demand, apparently.
According to the pros, stroking and rubbing the head (glands) properly are key to extracting the elixir.
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She could work aboard a crabbing vessel, I've read that it's one of the most dangerous but also rewarding jobs in the world. If she doesn't like crab then she could be an electrical power line installer or mining machine operator.
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I'm waiting for the flood of responses back from the applications i submitted to be a stripper.
Get this. Seriously. The job I applied for involved managing records and such but it included helping infertile couples find "the right" ovum donors.
Can you imagine? "What the fuck do you mean you want a red head? I've got some eggs here that will almost certainly be beautiful platinum blondes AND the carpet will likely match the drapes since your husband is a dopey blonde too".
I think I'd be a natural for the job. They're traveling right now but they want my full résumé by the 20 th.
The description said I might have to deal with couples that are angry and frustrated having dealt with infertility. I'm obviously a very sensitive, easily hurt person but I think I could hold it together even if somebody calls me a worthless cunt. I'm not sure how I know that but I do. 
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(10-13-2013, 03:12 PM)username Wrote: I'm obviously a very sensitive, easily hurt person but I think I could hold it together even if somebody calls me a worthless cunt. I'm not sure how I know that but I do.
C'mon - I doubt anybody thinks of you as worthless.
Seriously, sounds like something that you'd be good at; hope it works out.
If it doesn't, there's another strange occupation where you could put your sensitive and compassionate nature to good use.
@username, the Professional Cuddler?
No sex involved, just spooning, hugging, sleeping next to someone...clients are mostly those who've lost a loved one, have intimacy challenges, just suffered a break-up...
Professional cuddlers and snugglers help those in need by sharing their loving sense of touch.
What you'll get paid: $60 per hour
You could work from home even.
Just a fall back option...
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I'd need pictures and a full hygiene report first though.
I love skin care so I've thought about being an aesthetician but I'm afraid I'd throw up on the first client I had to treat with cystic acne.
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Slippery kitty is the cats ass and doctor recommended. It also fits in ones pocket.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
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(10-13-2013, 04:07 PM)username Wrote: I've thought about being an aesthetician but I'm afraid I'd throw up on the first client I had to treat with cystic acne.
Cross it off your list. Ugh. You do not want to be putting your hands on a stranger's yuck stuff! I want to heave just thinking about a pus face.
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I briefly thought about being a dermatologist. I'm glad I didn't go with it because it would really suck to have to get up tomorrow morning and shave peculiar looking warts off some old guys ass.
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User, have you considered a "Phone Sex" job, you wouldn't even have to leave your house!
You could do your Johns right in your kitchen! 
Carsman: Loves Living Large
Home is where you're treated the best, but complain the most!
Life is short, make the most of it, get outta here!
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I say "Drilling"!
Being here surrounded by all that oil business, trust me, those who are good at and in charge of drilling do a hell of a living! Large villa's, one month on, one month off, constant tan, and a salary and life style that's just awesome. Just look at the States right now. Where there's drilling, life is good. And looking at user, I bet she is not only a natural but also extremly good at .... drilling!
If it's user I say, drilling all the way!!
Plus, once you are in the drilling business, you can then expand into the lubricants business, which is not only a byproduct of drilling, but highly lucrative as well. We just had a large shop called "Lube Boy" open up here.
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I think I'd have to live in a tent city or something to work in drilling.
I've actually submitted two real applications. I'm not sure i actually want a job though but I'm totally in to the catch and release idea at this point. I want someone to desperately want to give me a job (land it) and then gently remove the employer off the hook and throw them back. Unless they offer me big bucks in which case I might reconsider.
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(10-16-2013, 09:20 AM)Mohammed Wrote: Lets open a strip club!
I'd totally pay to watch you... 
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(10-16-2013, 11:50 AM)username Wrote: (10-16-2013, 09:20 AM)Mohammed Wrote: Lets open a strip club!
I'd totally pay to watch you...
Screw the Men of Mock calendar; Mockindales might be more fun and profitable.
![[Image: 481215_486000558092713_1268059831_n.jpg]](http://onthefly.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/481215_486000558092713_1268059831_n.jpg)
Midwest Spy and user's former lover are the two in the middle.
Your job could be the advertising specialist or motivational coach for the troop, user. 
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(10-16-2013, 11:50 AM)username Wrote: (10-16-2013, 09:20 AM)Mohammed Wrote: Lets open a strip club!
I'd totally pay to watch you...
No you wouldn't.
Not really.
No offense Mo.
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(10-16-2013, 12:53 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: (10-16-2013, 11:50 AM)username Wrote: (10-16-2013, 09:20 AM)Mohammed Wrote: Lets open a strip club!
I'd totally pay to watch you...
Screw the Men of Mock calendar; Mockindales might be more fun and profitable.
Midwest Spy and user's former lover are the two in the middle.
Your job could be the advertising specialist or motivational coach for the troop, user.
Shit.
Those dudes have totally found their calling.
Which ones are Dono and JimBone?
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