NFL 2014

[crash]

I just want all this draft shit, all the gay shit, all the who's-fucking-who shit to be over. I just want to watch some football...and I'm not even American. Bring on August already..

[Midwest Spy]

Michael will not be participating in a reality show after all. All involved have agreed it would be too much of a distraction when he should be focusing on getting a spot on the team.

MS will be so relieved.

I wonder if he read my post from a couple days back and thought it would be in his best interest to concentrate on Michael Sam: football player?

[ramseycat]

Michael will not be participating in a reality show after all. All involved have agreed it would be too much of a distraction when he should be focusing on getting a spot on the team.

MS will be so relieved.

I wonder if he read my post from a couple days back and thought it would be in his best interest to concentrate on Michael Sam: football player?

I'm sure of it.

[Donovan]

I don't know, so far every time you mention homosexuality and the Michael Sam PDA you go right to gay porn and assfucking. You forgot blowjobs and tossed salads . . . neglect to mention anything about . . . being well-groomed, good at interior design and fond of antiquing trips.

Wow! Had to look-up "tossed salads".

I see the "down-low" has broadened your vocabulary.

Why would I mention blowjobs, being well-groomed, having an eye for design and the pleasure of hunting for and subsequently purchasing treasures?

These are activities I enjoy and practice regularly.

It's unfortunate that these are activities you associate exclusively with gay men.

No . . . no stereotyping there . . . nope.

BTW - My original comment on PDA had nothing to do with sex . . . it was one of having a "trophy" or ²⁴⁄₇ possession.

Nigger man having a white bitch.

I was just wondering why you went right for the sex part of being a gay man. As if that were the sum total of their existence. You like antiquing and interior design; if I fuck you in the ass does that make you a gay man? Or just very grateful?

And yeah I saw your OP. Looked like a desperate attempt to find a way to say the word nigger. Your RL must be very rigid and oppressive. You spend most of your online time anonymously lashing out against societal constraints.

[HairOfTheDog]

C'mon Donovan -- when you were gay-trolling me in Big Sal's Deserted Island thread because I chose to be stranded with a woman, you went straight for the "sex" part of homosexual -- followed by your spiel about the universal "likes" of all lesbians (antiquing, wine-tasting, some gay island...).

It's okay for you to dive straight into the sex part of homosexuality when the topic is gay females, but not okay for a woman to go straight to the sex part of homosexuality when the topic is gay males?

Trifecta: gender discrimination, gay stereotyping, and hypocrisy!

[Donovan]

I don't remember gay trolling you on the island thread, but the difference would be that I don't have any particular problem with seeing two dudes kissing or two chicks or whatever. And while not every single old dyke is a flannel-and-birkenstock butch, there are enough of them sipping dry red and nesting on estate sales to make the exceptions prove the rule. Groups in the extreme minority who are trying to gain social acceptance tend to be rigidly uniform in their cultural identities. It's how they self-identify.

Also, lol at the unintended humor of the phrase "dive straight in" when discussing female homosexual activity.

[HairOfTheDog]

Sorry, MS -- I'm temporarily dishonoring my three-sentence bet commitment to you and asking for an exception. I will accept a penalty, if necessary.

I don't remember gay trolling you on the island thread...

Labeling me gay in multiple successive posts for having chosen a woman with whom to be stranded (after having already explained that choice, which had zero to do with anything remotely romantic, intimate, or sexual ) wasn't gay-trolling? The way I see it, it's the equivalent of what you've referred to as the "lame fag troll", only levied upon a woman. So, your memory either fails you or it's just gender discrimination speaking, IMO.

...the difference would be that I don't have any particular problem with seeing two dudes kissing or two chicks or whatever.

Difference? Did Tiki express a problem with seeing gays showing each other affection? I only perceived her to be expressing animosity towards those whom she perceives to be exploiting homosexuality for their personal agendas (and at the expense of others), and towards those who lecture others about how they should feel about homosexual PDA and other social issues.

Granted, I could have misinterpreted her. In that case, though she's quite the wallflower, she might just call me out and I'll take a licking (yeah, I know, "ghey").

And while not every single old dyke is a flannel-and-birkenstock butch, there are enough of them sipping dry red and nesting on estate sales to make the exceptions prove the rule.

I know a fair amount of lesbians, younger and older than I. Rarely have I seen any of them wearing flannel and never Birkenstocks (for real, even in a district of San Francisco heavily populated with female same-sex couples!). AND, drinking dry red wine is certainly not something that lesbians can be logically deduced to do more frequently than the whole of the diverse and sizable wine-drinking population. AND, if you're right about “antiquing and estate sales” being “gay activities”, then Maggot, Cannongal, Duchess, me, Six... and probably many other male and female mockers are seriously in the closet and don't even know it!

Sorry -- I not only think your statements equate to gay-stereotyping, I think they equate to baseless gay-stereotyping.

Also, lol at the unintended humor of the phrase "dive straight in" when discussing female homosexual activity.

Let me give it to you straight -- your presumptions don't always hit the mark, and if I weren’t so chilly and getting ready to search out my favorite muffs, I’d dive into a deeper explanation for you.

[Donovan]

Labeling me gay in multiple successive posts for having chosen a woman with whom to be stranded (after having already explained that choice, which had zero to do with anything remotely romantic, intimate, or sexual ) wasn't gay-trolling? The way I see it, it's the equivalent of what you've referred to as the "lame fag troll", only levied upon a woman. So, your memory either fails you or it's just gender discrimination speaking, IMO.

It is entirely possible my memory fails me. Since I tend to shoot from the lip without a filter in word and writing, I say a great many things I don't recall, mostly of the joke variety. In your case it's likely I made a comment, got a rise out of you and went with it. You have a very polished veneer of happy-go-lucky carefree flowergirl, and it used to amuse me to try to get your mask to slip.

Difference? Did Tiki express a problem with seeing gays showing each other affection? I only perceived her to be expressing animosity towards those whom she perceives to be exploiting homosexuality for their personal agendas (and at the expense of others), and towards those who lecture others about how they should feel about homosexual PDA and other social issues.

We live in a culture where sex permeates every aspect of our television, advertising, and reading, and ALWAYS serves some sort of agenda. The fact that Tiki only gets upset when it's two men kissing instead of the implied hetero couplings of, say, every beer commercial ever made, indicates she doesn't have a problem with pushing agendas unless they offend her sensibilities. The fact that she is an admitted hater of political correctness, otherwise known as social tolerance, and felt the need to throw male homosexual sex references and the word nigger into her original post, gives us a pretty good idea where the offensive material is for her.

Granted, I could have misinterpreted her. In that case, though she's quite the wallflower, she might just call me out and I'll take a licking (yeah, I know, "ghey").

Or trolling. Either way, good for you.

I know a fair amount of lesbians, younger and older than I. Rarely have I seen any of them wearing flannel and never Birkenstocks (for real, even in a district of San Francisco heavily populated with female same-sex couples!). AND, drinking dry red wine is certainly not something that lesbians can be logically deduced to do more frequently than the whole of the diverse and sizable wine-drinking population.

Two things: as one of the few meccas for gay-lifestyle tolerance in the country, San Francisco is both the best example of how mainstreaming can positively affect gay gender identity, and the worst example of instinctive tribal-marker-type behavior in gays seeking acceptance. Your view is skewed because you are in the one place they are free to expand as persons rather than as a "type". In more constraining communities like the midwest and heartland, the tribal identifiers are much more rigid.
Second thing: since the template of suburban gay female is much further along in social acceptance than gay males, and is derived in large part from suburban hetero wives, there is a lot of bleedover. The person identifies with the behavior, NOT the other way around.

AND, if you're right about “antiquing and estate sales” being “gay activities”, then Maggot, Cannongal, Duchess, me, Six... and probably many other male and female mockers are seriously in the closet and don't even know it!

You said it, not me. But if you ever do come out, could you send me pics of you and Username frenching?

Sorry -- I not only think your statements equate to gay-stereotyping, I think they equate to baseless gay-stereotyping.

My statements are sound examples of social anthropology with a little bit of deliberate cliche thrown in for comedic effect. Thanks for ruining the joke by forcing me to explain it though. Gay women=not known for their senses of humor. Look at Ellen.

Let me give it to you straight -- your presumptions don't always hit the mark, and if I weren’t so chilly and getting ready to search out my favorite muffs, I’d dive into a deeper explanation for you.

I had a great and lengthy response all typed up, but then I read the last part, got the weirdest boner, and knocked my computer off my lap. I think maybe I'm a lesbian.

[Duchess]

Goddamn I hope this continues all day and then some. This is how it's done, kiddies.

[Duchess]

I hope you guys give me more satisfaction than Home Depot did.

[HairOfTheDog]

I hope you guys give me more satisfaction than Home Depot did.

Sorry, Duchess – I might disappoint you today, but I’ll make it up to you later.

I have company coming late this afternoon, so I need to throw on some flannel, wrangle up some dry red, polish my furniture and floors, tighten my mask, clean the kitchen, forget everything that I ever learned about the definitions and practical applications of behavior modification, tolerance, stereotyping, and social anthropology in favor of Donovanism, deal with the startling revelation that Donovan -- like most other Mockers -- attempts to use humor or provocation to make a point or just for fun, and then pray like hell that I don’t have a slip of the tongue and moan, “you're so fuckin' good, username, you sexy little bitch” in the heat of heterosexual passion (so far, I've managed to keep that pussy tight in the bag).

But, first, I’ve got some lovely old carpets and boxes that I’ve pulled down from the low shelf in the closet -- need to drop them off at the open antique exchange --busy as a beaver here, so off I roll…

[Duchess]

have a slip of the tongue and moan, “you're so fuckin' good, username, you sexy little bitch”

That's hawt.

[HairOfTheDog]

have a slip of the tongue and moan, “you're so fuckin' good, username, you sexy little bitch”

That's hawt.

Well, if she ever drags her scrawny ass back in here and reads it, I might just be in for a serious tongue-lashing.

We've gotta stop this innuendo, Duchess -- this is the god damned football thread, after all!!!

Easier said than done...smiling...

[Donovan]

I hope you guys give me more satisfaction than Home Depot did.

Sorry, Duchess – I might disappoint you today, but I’ll make it up to you later.

I have company coming late this afternoon, so I need to throw on some flannel, wrangle up some dry red, polish my furniture and floors, tighten my mask, clean the kitchen

faggit

, forget everything that I ever learned about the definitions and practical applications of behavior modification, tolerance, stereotyping, and social anthropology in favor of Donovanism,

THAT's the spirit. Can you show my girlfriend how to grovel like that?

deal with the startling revelation that Donovan -- like most other Mockers -- attempts to use humor or provocation to make a point or just for fun,

that, and I'm trying to get my own reality show.

and then pray like hell that I don’t have a slip of the tongue and moan, “you're so fuckin' good, username, you sexy little bitch” in the heat of heterosexual passion (so far, I've managed to keep that pussy tight in the bag).

SHIT there went my laptop again.

But, first, I’ve got some lovely old carpets and boxes that I’ve pulled down from the low shelf in the closet -- need to drop them off at the open antique exchange --busy as a beaver here, so off I roll…

You're not fooling anybody, you know you chewed those carpets to bits and ate all those box lunches years ago.

Just remember, if you need to capture the Amusement park Pirate ghost on your way back, it'll be old man Smithers in a mask. It's always old man Smithers.

[HairOfTheDog]

THAT's the spirit. Can you show my girlfriend how to grovel like that?

I’d guess that she’s had plenty of opportunities to master the art of mocking your bullshit without needing any tutoring sessions. She probably also has at least an average 6^th grader’s vocabulary and could teach you the meaning of “grovel” and how to use it properly in context – though you might have to bow and scrape to her for the favor.

I'm trying to get my own reality show.

That doesn’t surprise me a bit – seems right up your alley – good luck!

SHIT there went my laptop again.

Be careful there -- the repeated three inch elevations might damage your laptop; that’s not likely covered in your Radio Shack warranty.

You're not fooling anybody, you know you chewed those carpets to bits and ate all those box lunches years ago.

No need to drool – they’re probably still on the market if you wanna make a bid for them. There’s some nice shag left on those carpets and the boxes still seal tightly. They simply didn’t suit my taste.

Just remember, if you need to capture the Amusement park Pirate ghost on your way back, it'll be old man Smithers in a mask. It's always old man Smithers.

Okay, thus far I’ve just been having fun with all of your blatant bullshit presented as matter-of-fact. But you’ve crossed a line on this one. Your false accusations against old man Smithers are borderline libelous.

I can see why you fantasize about him “always being the one”, given that he’s an obedient sycophant to a bossy man, always getting Burns in the ass in the process. But, MR. SMITHERS NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER, POSED AS A PIRATE GHOST AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK AND NEVER POSED AS A MASKED VILLAIN ANYWHERE ELSE, EVER.

Not surprising that you’d try to give your ideal pirate companion all the credit though, when it was actually a woman who master-minded and pulled-off the clever amusement park shenanigans.

Now, I have to haul ass - I have less than an hour to trim the bush (leading up the front stairs), seriously.

[crash]

Anyway, Jesus smiled...my prayers will be answered, on Sunday even.

Now, I have to haul ass - I have less than an hour to trim the bush (leading up the front stairs), seriously.

It's Sunday?

Oh my..

[Duchess]

Well, I hated to see that come to an end. Punt. PUNT!

[Donovan]

Sorry. Had to do real life stuff. A bunch of gay people landed in my garden and were eating all the gay vegetables like kale and alfalfa sprouts and stuff, so I had to turn the hose on them.

[HairOfTheDog]

Zoinks! I was just informed (when attempting to explain why I had Scooby Doo and Hong Kong Phooey cartoon videos in open windows ) that there was, in fact, an old man Smithers masquerading as a ghost in the Scooby Doo movie.

I was overly animated and a little Scrappy upthread when I implied that Donovan was accusing Mr. Burns' old man, Smithers, of the Funland amusement park shenanigans and robbing Mr. Jenkins' crafty old lady of the credit.

I stand corrected -- my apologies, Donovan.

[Donovan]

Better recognize, beyotch. No Scooby snack for you.