GRAVESITE SANDBOX

[Duchess]

What's your opinion of a Mom whose infant child died who then turned his grave site into a sandbox so her other young son could grieve or "play" with his dead sibling.



Story

[SIXFOOTERsez]

I think the local cats will be thrilled

[ramseycat]

I saw that on FB. I think it's cute. But it's going to take a lot of maintenance to keep it clean for her son to play in.

[sally]

I don't see anything wrong with it.

[Carsman]

[quote] Ashlee Hammac’s photo of the grave on Facebook went viral, receiving more than 50,000 shares. Hammac was looking for a way to turn the heart-wrenching area into a place of happy memories for her other son, Tucker. [quote]

What happy memories? The brother lived 5 days in an incubator, full of tubes, and bandages. Where was the happiness in that?

[ramseycat]

I think she meant her surviving son could make happy memories of playing in the sandbox. Not the memories of her sick baby.

[Duchess]

All kids should have a sandbox in a cemetery to play in.

[Teacher]

I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[Duchess]

I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

I do too. I think if I had a chair & tea service at my Gramma's grave so I could have tea with her someone would have me committed.

[ramseycat]

You can't judge how someone deals with their grief.

[Duchess]

Of course I can. Doesn't make it right but I can say she's a crazy bitch for turning a grave site into a sandbox for her remaining kid to play with her dead kid. Tell me you wouldn't be giving me the ol' hairy eyeball if you saw me having afternoon tea with my dead Gramma and using her headstone as a coffee table while I chatted up a storm with her.

[Duchess]

Many of you have raised children - what does a 3 yr. old know about death & mourning? Does it have such an understanding of it that grieving at the baby brother's grave site will help him deal with it or is it just another place for him to play with his trucks?

[ramseycat]

Yea I might think you're a bit nuts with the tea thing. But losing a child is different. People handle grief in different ways. I think she did this more for herself than her remaining son. It's not so much about him understanding death and mourning as it is about a mother trying to find some way to deal with her grief. At least she didn't stuff the dead baby and give him to the brother to okay with. THAT would definitely get the hairy eyeball and then some.

[QueenBee]

I agree with what does a 3 year old really understand about death? My grandma died when I was 3, and all I knew was one day she was there and the next she wasn't. I do miss never having the chance to really get to know her better.
I wonder if the parents did it more for themselves than for the boy?

[Duchess]

At least she didn't stuff the dead baby and give him to the brother

[Duchess]

Maybe I feel the way I do because I would never, ever be so open with my pain. I keep that shit hidden. For my eyes only.

[sally]

I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

I do too. I think if I had a chair & tea service at my Gramma's grave so I could have tea with her someone would have me committed.

Well if you were talking out loud people might think you're nuts, but it's not unheard of to have benches at grave sites for loved ones to sit at. If they happen to bring their Starbucks with them who cares?

The mother said that her son was playing in the dirt at the cemetery and that's what gave her the idea to do the sandbox. It gives him something pleasant to do while they're there and maybe it makes it more peaceful for her too. I don't understand why anyone would give a shit.

[Duchess]

I don't understand why anyone would give a shit.

I don't really give a shit, it was just a topic I thought would promote posting.

[sally]

I don't understand why anyone would give a shit.

I don't really give a shit, it was just a topic I thought would promote posting.

I meant the people leaving nasty comments on FB about how it's damaging to her son. It's just a sandbox with some toy trucks for Christ's sake, I don't think it's going to turn the little boy into a serial killer or anything.

[JsMom]

In my experience, a sandbox at my sons grave, would not have helped his twins pain. But to each their own.