I like to open with a joke.

[Chelloveks]

Ahhhhhhhhhhshaddddddaaaapppppppppp

[Chelloveks]

That was meant for cutz

[HairOfTheDog]

That was meant for cutz

That's too bad, interloper -- could be dangerous breaking and entering his intro thread and disrespecting Cutz like that.

Just because he happens to assault poor defenseless kittens in the process of exercising his second amendment rights, doesn't mean Cutz is necessarily a marshmallow.

Word has it that he got his name due to his machete-wielding skills. I heard that from ramseycat though, so, he might just be really handy with a butter knife and a cheese board.

[JsMom]

C'mon -- wake up, mamacita!

We've got a cat-burglary and a stick-up in progress here and you're on the verge of a siesta?

Have an energy-boosting brunch and you'll be ready for action; 3 cups of black coffee, a glass of water, four to six NoDoz tabs, two lines of coke...done.

I'm up, miss lady. I just thought the joke was boring. shrugs.

btw...I hate coffee, me and NoDoz don't mix (learned that one in my teens), and coke is never an option.

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, I'm glad you finally decided to pull your ass outta bed, Js.

You don't wanna miss anything.

If things go my way, Cutz and Chelloveks will be brawling in no time.

Something tells me these two have crossed paths in the past. One can only hope there's some festering animosity there.

[Duchess]

I don't think Chello understands he's confined & Mock is way bigger than he can see.

[JsMom]

If things go my way, Cutz and Chelloveks will be brawling in no time.

Something tells me these two have crossed paths in the past. One can only hope there's some festering animosity there.

We can hope I suppose.

Yah, they have definitely crossed paths in the past.

[Maggot]

Ahhhhhhhhhhshaddddddaaaapppppppppp

That's very Phil Silvers or something skevollehC Chelloveks. Can you juggle? Besides this is that other idiots thread. It sucks being alone but we can deal with your loneliness just stick your neck out and click those heels.

[aussiefriend]

Let us know when you are going to start with a joke.

[Cutz]

So a Pickle, a Cucumber, and a Penis are talking about who has it the worst. The Cucumber say, "Man, my life is rough, when I get ripe, they're gonna cut me up and put me in a salad. I've got it the worst."

The Pickle responds, "You think that's bad? When I get big and ripe, they seal me in a jar of vinegar till I drown, then when I'm hanging on within an inch of my life, they take me out, cut me up, and throw me on a hamburger. I've got it way worse than you."

So the penis says, "Hey guys, that's all pretty bad, but listen to this. When I get big and ripe, they seal me in an airtight bag, shove me in a dark room, and ram my head into a wall over and over again until I throw up and pass out!"

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, Cutz, I think the only way that could have been any better is if you'd started it with, "welcome, ladies and germs"...

So, aside from being a master internet joke-teller, what else do you like to do in your down time?

Jello shots? The hokie pokie? Sports?

Who are you? Who, who...who who? I really wanna know. (Just the superficial stuff, though.)

[Cutz]

While I've engaged in all of those activities at one time or another, none of the above currently. Avid NFL fan, from Philly, living in Ohio, moving to Kansas City in a few weeks. Will be going to grad school there. Was a constant video gamer as well, but haven't played anything since GW2 waned in entertainment. Guess I did do a short stint of TitanFall, that was an ok game.

[Cutz]

From now on, this is a pun thread.

How does an octopus go into battle?



... Well armed.

[Maggot]

It wont take long did it? The male rabbit said.

[username]

Will be going to grad school there.

School dropping. Will you make it a point like a few others around here and manage to say that in one or two posts every few days?

[HairOfTheDog]

Will be going to grad school there.

School dropping. Will you make it a point like a few others around here and manage to say that in one or two posts every few days?

I haven't bragged about my certificate from Coco's Clown and Cuticle Repair College in days!

[Cutz]

School dropping. Will you make it a point like a few others around here and manage to say that in one or two posts every few days?

Nah, as I said, this is now a Pun thread.

There was a power outage at the middle school yesterday, had to close early.


The children were delighted.

[HairOfTheDog]

It wont take long did it? The male rabbit said.

Did what? The female rabbit snapped.

I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.

Anyway, I'm not in the mood for a pun either. But, I'll pull a corny joke outta my hat (ass) for you.

A rabbit hopped upon a vegetable stand and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender answered, "No!"

The next day, the rabbit hopped on back there again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender replied "No!"

The following day, the rabbit went back and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the post by your ears!"

Early the next morning the pesky rabbit went back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" To which, the rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"

I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off. But, I don't really know if he ended up snacking on carrots or if he was instead hammered in the head and found himself in a stew.

[Cutz]

I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.
...
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off.

A man wrote ten puns to mail in to a pun contest, hoping at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[crash]

I'm going camping with Bear Grylls. It should be in tents.