I like to open with a joke.

[Donovan]

When I met my last blind date I told her "you're an '8'."

She was pissed.

[Donovan]

It wont take long did it? The male rabbit said.

Did what? The female rabbit snapped.

I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.

Anyway, I'm not in the mood for a pun either. But, I'll pull a corny joke outta my hat (ass) for you.

A rabbit hopped upon a vegetable stand and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender answered, "No!"

The next day, the rabbit hopped on back there again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender replied "No!"

The following day, the rabbit went back and asked, "Got any carrots?" The vender shouted, "No! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the post by your ears!"

Early the next morning the pesky rabbit went back and asked, " Got any nails?" The seller answered, "No!" To which, the rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"

I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off. But, I don't really know if he ended up snacking on carrots or if he was instead hammered in the head and found himself in a stew.

[HairOfTheDog]

I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.
...
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off.

A man wrote ten puns to mail in to a pun contest, hoping at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

You're sharp Cutz, you got the point.

I'd guess less than 20% of people would get it straight off, but that's based only on limited personal experience.

I once went camping with a group of 25 individuals. I hopped from tent to tent telling the same corny joke and ending with my thoughts about the rabbit's possible fates. Few got my point quickly; one about per six tents.

Puns it is -- persistence pays off. Though, I'd probably have started playing your game earlier if you'd simply aprized me from the start (the gift of immediate gratification, and all)...

[HairOfTheDog]

That's duck stole my rabbit's M.O.!

I wanted to let the air outta that annoying, trolling, painfully persistent rubber ducky about 30 seconds into the video, but watched the whole damned clip.

Little bastard never did grow on me.

On the bright side, by the end of it I was wishing the grape hound would go jump in a lake! Close enough...

[Cutz]

Did you hear about the guy that got his entire left half of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

[Blindgreed1]

Ahhhhhhhhhhshaddddddaaaapppppppppp

That's very Phil Silvers or something skevollehC Chelloveks. Can you juggle? Besides this is that other idiots thread. It sucks being alone but we can deal with your loneliness just stick your neck out and click those heels.

He juggles hairy meatballs on his chin

[Blindgreed1]

I don't think Cutz realizes that he has no control over who posts what in this thread and where it will end up.
...
I like to think the rabbit got his way in the end because persistence really does pay off.

A man wrote ten puns to mail in to a pun contest, hoping at least one would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

You're sharp Cutz, you got the point.

I'd guess less than 20% of people would get it straight off, but that's based only on limited personal experience.

I once went camping with a group of 25 individuals. I hopped from tent to tent telling the same corny joke and ending with my thoughts about the rabbit's possible fates. Few got my point quickly; one about per six tents.

Puns it is -- persistence pays off. Though, I'd probably have started playing your game earlier if you'd simply aprized me from the start (the gift of immediate gratification, and all)...

Cutz is a good dude. He gets the Gunnar seal of approval.

[HairOfTheDog]

I see. Maybe Cutz will appreciate your positive testimonial, Gunnar.

I didn't have any reason to suspect that he's not a good dude anyway, though the pun fixation might be a bit odd.

We've all got our fetishes though, right? I'd tell you about my intense attraction to all things politically conservative, but I'd have nothing left.

corniness is contagious.

[Blindgreed1]

I see. Maybe Cutz will appreciate your positive testimonial, Gunnar.

I didn't have any reason to suspect that he's not a good dude anyway, though the pun fixation might be a bit odd.
We've all got our fetishes though, right? I'd tell you about my intense attraction to all things politically conservative, but I'd have nothing left.

corniness is contagious.

You are made of win HOTD.

[Cutz]

Why did the scarecrow get Employee of the Month?

Because he was out standing in his field.

[HairOfTheDog]

Why did the scarecrow get Employee of the Month?

Because he was out standing in his field.

Cutz, being as your puns aren't originals, I'm guessing your last name is Andpastes.

So, I'm not spending any more minutes coming up with my own corny puns and word plays -- once a pun a time I might have for a short while, but no longer...

(That was the last damned one! )

[Cutz]

I didn't say it was an original pun thread. You're welcome to continue your ingenious puns tho. All puns are welcome.

[HairOfTheDog]

I didn't say it was an original pun thread. You're welcome to continue your ingenious puns tho. All puns are welcome.

I didn't suggest or think that you'd been misleading.

I just thought you were making them up at first, but remember hearing the last two way back when.

Anyway, no matter. Carry on -- I'll conserve those rare moments of ingenuity for other lands.

[crash]

Dog gone, no more punnish meant?

[HairOfTheDog]

Dog gone, no more punnish meant?

[Cutz]

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

With Little Ceasers.

[Maggot]

Did you hear about the 3 cats that drowned in France?
un,deux,trois guatre cing............

[Cutz]

What do you call it when you cross-pollinate a Maple, an Oak, and a Sycamore?

A treesome.

[Cutz]

I bought Nike's from a drug dealer.

...

I don't know what he laced them with... but I've been tripping all day!

[Baldawgbites]

I bought Nike's from a drug dealer.

...

I don't know what he laced them with... but I've been tripping all day!

It seems you're tripping now.