DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

[Duchess]

I know it goes on, I'm not oblivious to it but I didn't know just how prevalent it is. Last night I heard a 911 call made by a judge's wife, he beat the shit out of her. I saw what Ray Rice did and I read about other instances. A domestic violence hotline has seen a spike of 84% since the Ray Rice video aired and the woman in charge said that last year 77,000 calls went unanswered because they didn't have the resources to handle it. That's a lot of abuse. Do you know anyone who has been abused? Did you know that men can be victims of it too?

[sally]

I don't understand women who allow themselves to be abused. No one can abuse me unless they have a gun. Punch me in the face and I'll grab a knife and disembowel you when I wake up.

[JsMom]

It takes a pussy to hit a woman. Only men who get that ass whooped by another man would hit a woman. I'm like Sally here. I'll shank a bitch! Don't go to sleep muthafucka cuz I'm coming back.

[Carsman]

I know it goes on, I'm not oblivious to it but I didn't know just how prevalent it is. Last night I heard a 911 call made by a judge's wife, he beat the shit out of her. I saw what Ray Rice did and I read about other instances. A domestic violence hotline has seen a spike of 84% since the Ray Rice video aired and the woman in charge said that last year 77,000 calls went unanswered because they didn't have the resources to handle it. That's a lot of abuse. Do you know anyone who has been abused? Did you know that men can be victims of it too?

Yep, I had a guy that worked for me who used to come in to work at least two or three times a month with a black eye, and fat lip, sometimes bruised face and arms. Thought he used to get into a lot of fights in a bar. Come to find out he and his wife used to have violent arguments, with his wife finally ending it by beating the crap out of him each and every time. He weighed in at around 110, at 5' 8", and she weighed in around 240 and was 6'. I met her once, I was nice to her!

[Maggot]

Some women are best meet from across the street.

[aussiefriend]

My motto is, don't even THINK of disagreeing with me, let alone saying it!

And you wanna get physical?

[QueenBee]

Sally, I understand what you are saying, but I do not feel it is always a case of the woman "allowing" the abuse as much as being so knocked back emotionally and psychologically that they feel the abuse is somehow abused or deserved. They feel if they were a better person, more helpful, less "demanding" on husband/significant other they would not be beaten. The pattern of abuse is the man saying "if you weren't so ______I would not have to hit you". They feel they cannot do better.

[Cutz]

Sally, I understand what you are saying, but I do not feel it is always a case of the woman "allowing" the abuse as much as being so knocked back emotionally and psychologically that they feel the abuse is somehow abused or deserved. They feel if they were a better person, more helpful, less "demanding" on husband/significant other they would not be beaten. The pattern of abuse is the man saying "if you weren't so ______I would not have to hit you". They feel they cannot do better.

Yes, but they buy in to the victimization because they're weak willed. Feeling like you wouldn't be beaten if you were a better person comes from low self esteem. Strong willed women like Sal (and most of the women on this board) wouldn't stand for that shit. The women in that situation need to be supported, but they need to take that support and find the strength to demand better. Society can set up resources to help, but the individual still has to find the will to dial the number.

[Cutz]

And really, who is it that's giving women low self esteem? Men, who are always trying to get in their pants and complimenting them... or their mothers who tell them they're not good enough for a man? HUH? IT'S ALL WOMEN'S FAULT!

[QueenBee]

Cutz, I hear you. But I am also speaking from a "been there, done that, WALKED AWAY" frame of mind. I was with a man who seemed a bit weak willed on his own, and seemed to feel better by putting me down. Yes, I did have some self esteem issues at the time, and still do. It is hard to get past someone you care about putting you down and putting you into a bad place.
I got a heads up on the guy...from his brother of all people, and walked away, letting the door hit HIM in the ass on my way out.

If you think you love someone, and that they love you back, it can be hard taking shit from them and not seeing it as being somehow deserved.
There is too much else going on sometimes.

[Cutz]

Well, I think anyone can fall for that "we love each other, it's not worth leaving" mentality, but it's kind of an immature, 18 year olds getting married sort of thing to me. I hear your point tho.

[Duchess]

I don't think women should be depending on others for their worth/self esteem/confidence. With OR without someone I'm pretty fuckin' special.

[aussiefriend]

Self worth and self esteem has to come from within. It doesn't help with a whole lot of negative comments around you that you have to work through, but you can get there with a belief in yourself. There are many stories of many people who have overcome great odds in life to become gold medalists like Oscar P....oh wait.