Ideal Marriage circa 1926 Mock book club discussion

[Duchess]

I got distracted, sorry. I'll have to pick my game up.

Meanwhile, I got another question for the people here. I went on a date today with a woman my age after meeting online at your standard local dating site. Hit it off well, lots in common, talked each others' ears off all afternoon, had a good time. Then a hug and a kiss good night, and...nothing. No spark. No surge. No feeling at all.

So now I'm wondering where to go from here. If this were a hypothetical situation, or even a real one you've experienced, do you nip a potentially rewarding friendship in the bud because no sexual charge? Do you play along for a while hoping to kindle something and in the meantime enjoy company of somebody pleasant?

You know I think you're brilliant so I'm not going to call you dumb. You just described a friendship in the making. Women aren't just for fucking, ya know. You don't have to play along with anything, just let it be, do things together, have a good time, enjoy her company.

[Duchess]

That was good advice I gave you, mister. Pay attention. Many great romances have been born out of what was friendship first.

So there!

[sally]

The other side of that coin: a week or two ago I met a different woman at work who works for a different agency. Younger than me by a sizable amount but not obscene. I think early 30's so a decade give or take. Not a classic stunning beauty, not really anything special to look at vis. body, sex appeal etc. Almost a little plain in classic definition. We have exchanged no flirty talk or anything but a couple instances of strictly work related small talk.

BUT

the first time I saw her she sucked the wind right out of me. Literal lightning bolt of animal attraction. Never felt that before. It was fucking weird but not unpleasant, and mystified me more than anything.

So the question is, what is the path to take, in a hypothetical? Do you trust the obvious surface common interests and build a safe relationship with no passion? Or go with the animal reaction?

So you know nothing about her, she could be married with 6 kids for all you know? I think you'd have to at least find out her status first before going with anything.

I sometimes find men who are not classically good looking very sexy. I don't think it's different with women. Also the thing with a lot of plain looking women is that they clean up pretty good.

[Cutz]

It's entirely possible you could find a meaningful relationship with the "lots in common" girl. Arranged marriages can lead to the most wonderful couple, and they rarely feel an instant spark. But all great relationships require one thing - total commitment. If you don't think you'll ever have a spark with the gal, and you're not going to fully invest yourself, don't try to build a hollow relationship based on friendship. Just be friends with her.

I'd say be friends with the friendly girl (and be honest about it) and ask the "took my breath away" girl out. If breathless girl turns out to be married with 6 kids, or even if you go out and it's a horrible experience where you lose a toe, at least you'll know you gave it a shot. Meanwhile if you're just friends with friendly girl and down the road something great happens, great.

[imsuchawildflower]

That was good advice I gave you, mister. Pay attention. Many great romances have been born out of what was friendship first.

So there!

Excellent advice, really.
Cant be boning ²⁴⁄₇ for the rest of your life...you need to have something there on a companionship and friendship level if it's ever going to last. Never choose to build you house on the proverbial sands...always choose the firm foundation.
Unless you're just looking to bone...then just gag her and Fuck the shit out her. No drama if she can't talk.

[Jimbone]

Unless you're just looking to bone...then just gag her and Fuck the shit out her.

How you doin'?

[Duchess]

WTF!

This isn't Christian Mingle, mister.

[imsuchawildflower]

Unless you're just looking to bone...then just gag her and Fuck the shit out her.

How you doin'?

Lmao!

[imsuchawildflower]

WTF!

This isn't Christian Mingle, mister.

that was more like farmers only.Com lol

[Donovan]

Ok so the no-spark thing ended, I think it was pretty mutual that there was nothing there. My big fear was that I'm on emotional shutdown from the ex, it's a defense mechanism from my fucked up childhood and allows me the freedom to be about as cold-blooded as I need to be in protecting the inner self. It's like a brick fucking wall that slams into place and lets nothing through. And yeah, friendship is pretty key to longevity but there has to be SOME sexual energy there or it is stillborn. If friendship is the soil of the relationship, a sexual surge is the MiracleGro.
Besides, the silly bitch spent half an hour vehemently defending Twilight and the Fifty Shades of Gray books as fantastic works of fiction.
I can forgive a lot of things, but that shit crosses the line.

[Donovan]

And the youngster may or may not ever turn into anything despite that electric beginning. My better sense has already talked me out of doing something stupid like creeping on her like an old letch.

[imsuchawildflower]

Ok so the no-spark thing ended, I think it was pretty mutual that there was nothing there. My big fear was that I'm on emotional shutdown from the ex, it's a defense mechanism from my fucked up childhood and allows me the freedom to be about as cold-blooded as I need to be in protecting the inner self. It's like a brick fucking wall that slams into place and lets nothing through. And yeah, friendship is pretty key to longevity but there has to be SOME sexual energy there or it is stillborn. If friendship is the soil of the relationship, a sexual surge is the MiracleGro.
Besides, the silly bitch spent half an hour vehemently defending Twilight and the Fifty Shades of Gray books as fantastic works of fiction.
I can forgive a lot of things, but that shit crosses the line.

Sometimes the friendship leads to a spark...
Also...
good call after her literature choices. what is this world coming to when that drivel is considered fantastic OR a work of fiction. She needs a frat boy.

[Jimbone]

Besides, the silly bitch spent half an hour vehemently defending Twilight and the Fifty Shades of Gray books as fantastic works of fiction.
I can forgive a lot of things, but that shit crosses the line.

This was a pretty clear indication that she isn't right, in many ways obviously.

[FAHQTOO]

Is anyone ever going to show us something from this stupid book or not?

[Midwest Spy]

Is anyone ever going to show us something from this stupid book or not?

No shit.

[Donovan]

Lol I got distracted and nobody else can read it. Since it isn't posted online that means I have to actually transcribe stuff as I'm reading. I swear I will get to it.

[FAHQTOO]

Lol I got distracted and nobody else can read it. Since it isn't posted online that means I have to actually transcribe stuff as I'm reading. I swear I will get to it.

[Jimbone]

I found it as a PDF! You can have one too:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=DR.+TH.+H.+VAN+DE+V...E+8+Plates

It's the first result... when you click on it it will open the PDF.

[Donovan]

Thanks Jimbone. Now I guess I have no excuses. I was reading some of it earlier tonight, and what follows are the interesting bits that caught my attention in the first pages.

Anybody reading along may feel free to transcribe their own bits or snip and comment. As always, my inclusion of a phrase in no way implies agreement with said phrase, only that it was interesting.

married men are naturally educators and initiators of their wives in sexual matters, and yet they often lack not only the qualifications of a leader and initiator, but also those necessary for equal marital partnership!...

[Maggot]

See.......... this is why the man uses the whip.