Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
(08-24-2015, 05:05 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Looks like you'd have a good shot at Phone Sex Operator of the Year, sal.
Something to fall back on. You'd still to get to work from home and could be earning Pay Pal points while you mop the floors and stuff.
P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.
Damn HotD.
Have you forgotten that I've dumped Fogelberg and am strictly into Bread now?
Posts: 29,189
Threads: 391
Joined: Aug 2011
That's right. I did know that, MS.
It's not because I'm a stalker or a psychic or anything.
You see...........I found your diary underneath a tree...
Posts: 26,248
Threads: 228
Joined: Dec 2008
(08-24-2015, 05:05 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.
I'll do and say a lot of things for $1.99 per minute, but I draw the line at pretending to be a sexed up Mother Abbess.
Posts: 9,837
Threads: 48
Joined: Feb 2011
(08-24-2015, 05:34 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: That's right. I did know that, MS.
It's not because I'm a stalker or a psychic or anything.
You see...........I found your diary underneath a tree...
Listen to the song, HotD.
It's all true.
Posts: 7,826
Threads: 74
Joined: Aug 2013
(08-24-2015, 06:01 PM)sally Wrote: (08-24-2015, 05:05 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.
I'll do and say a lot of things for $1.99 per minute, but I draw the line at pretending to be a sexed up Mother Abbess. I can work with that, PM your digits. 
Posts: 4,698
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2012
Whoa whoa whoa whoa... what is this bullshit?
There is no way you served Pepsi instead of Coke maggot. People would notice that way before anyone would believe ramsey fakes orgasms.
Posts: 86,994
Threads: 2,951
Joined: Jun 2008
Oh man. I can't leave you kids alone for a nano second.
Posts: 26,248
Threads: 228
Joined: Dec 2008
Ramsey was only fooling herself all those years, her drunk ex-husband didn't give a crap if she had an orgasm or not. He just didn't have the heart to tell her she sounds like Barry White choking on peanuts.
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
Devil Money Stealing Aunt 
Posts: 16,456
Threads: 3
Joined: Apr 2012
(08-24-2015, 06:01 PM)sally Wrote: (08-24-2015, 05:05 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: P.s. hang up on that repeat caller with Air Supply and Dan Fogelberg playing in the background; he'll be expecting tit texts and talking about Jesus's forgiveness in no time.
I'll do and say a lot of things for $1.99 per minute, but I draw the line at pretending to be a sexed up Mother Abbess. There goes my Sound of Music fantasy. You could have been in my Von (sex) Trapp. The hills would have been alive...
Posts: 16,884
Threads: 188
Joined: Dec 2009
If you haven't faked it at least a few times, you probably haven't been with more than a few lovers. C'mon, there are always a few bad apples in the bunch (if you're tasting a bunch).
Not that I would know personally....
Posts: 2,079
Threads: 143
Joined: Apr 2012
(08-24-2015, 03:09 PM)ramseycat Wrote: She looked at me like I had two heads.
So she is the lucky bitch who comes on a dime. All you have to do is touch her once and she comes so easily, and she probably has multiple orgasms as well.
Posts: 26,248
Threads: 228
Joined: Dec 2008
This is what you should have been doing to your ex-husband. Oh well, maybe you can try it on FU.
Posts: 3,299
Threads: 132
Joined: Jun 2008
A grapefruit, a fucking grapefruit? Really, wtf ?
Posts: 2,079
Threads: 143
Joined: Apr 2012
omg
please someone here try this.
She says you can use an orange if you are allergic to grapefruit, can you imagine a lemon?! Just kidding! Hope there are no seeds falling out!
Posts: 86,994
Threads: 2,951
Joined: Jun 2008
Da fuck?
I have an adventuresome spirit but I draw the line at grapefruit.
Posts: 4,698
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2012
Awesome at 2:48... the noise made me laugh out loud! Hot mic placement fail.
Posts: 7,826
Threads: 74
Joined: Aug 2013
"Grapefruit burns fat" Win, win ladies.
Posts: 5,214
Threads: 49
Joined: Mar 2012
I had to fake to spare feelings a few times. Some anti-murder-fools meds I was taking fucked with my ability to hit that peak very easily so my stamina went thru the frigging roof. But I couldn't finish and it really began to bother her. She saw it as not being attracted to her. So finally I began to act like I had come even when I could tell it wasn't gonna happen for quite a while, just because after an hour or so fatigue sets in, juices dry up. It can become painful.
Thank god I am oblivious to the opinions of others while caught in the blinding splendor of my own cleverness.
Posts: 4,698
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2012
Problem solved dono. Grapefruits are juicy and apparently get the job done. You might need a whole bag though on those meds.
|
![[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Zy3rKpW.png)
