My transvestite story

[Clang McFly]

Ok Miss Clang, don't pump anything up, or chop anything off, just stay the way you are!

(If after you ever get laid, you just may want to stop dressing en femme)

(Unless as sally has told me in the past, I'm gay. Then I'll be in a seemingly hetero normative relationship.)

OK simple Gay Test, when you see a naked woman do you get a Woody?
If you do, you're not Gay. If you don't, well keep buying your pretty dresses!

I'd fail that test. I rarely get a woody except when I masturbate which is usually while I'm wearing women's clothing or shortly there after. I dunno...I'm a freaky neurotic mess. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual or have low testosterone levels or something. I can't even seem to get a woody watching straight porn or at a strip club.

Well then Miss Clang, carry on with your pretty dresses and makeup!

It's hard to believe you've never been laid. If that's really true, You know if you really wanted to get laid, (by a woman) you could save up your money and pay a call girl!
Just sayin.

I'm waiting and waiting....my friend keeps telling me were going to go to Atlantic City and get some hookers.

[Carsman]

(Unless as sally has told me in the past, I'm gay. Then I'll be in a seemingly hetero normative relationship.)

OK simple Gay Test, when you see a naked woman do you get a Woody?
If you do, you're not Gay. If you don't, well keep buying your pretty dresses!

I'd fail that test. I rarely get a woody except when I masturbate which is usually while I'm wearing women's clothing or shortly there after. I dunno...I'm a freaky neurotic mess. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual or have low testosterone levels or something. I can't even seem to get a woody watching straight porn or at a strip club.

Well then Miss Clang, carry on with your pretty dresses and makeup!

It's hard to believe you've never been laid. If that's really true, You know if you really wanted to get laid, (by a woman) you could save up your money and pay a call girl!
Just sayin.

I'm waiting and waiting....my friend keeps telling me were going to go to Atlantic City and get some hookers.

C'mon A/C! Set a date, and just GO! Do some betting while you're there too.

[Fry Guy]

Those girls won't mind you in make up or dresses either. Pay them enough and you could dress up looking like Maggie Thatcher again, and tbey'd not mind

[Clang McFly]

OK simple Gay Test, when you see a naked woman do you get a Woody?
If you do, you're not Gay. If you don't, well keep buying your pretty dresses!

I'd fail that test. I rarely get a woody except when I masturbate which is usually while I'm wearing women's clothing or shortly there after. I dunno...I'm a freaky neurotic mess. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual or have low testosterone levels or something. I can't even seem to get a woody watching straight porn or at a strip club.

Well then Miss Clang, carry on with your pretty dresses and makeup!

It's hard to believe you've never been laid. If that's really true, You know if you really wanted to get laid, (by a woman) you could save up your money and pay a call girl!
Just sayin.

I'm waiting and waiting....my friend keeps telling me were going to go to Atlantic City and get some hookers.

C'mon A/C! Set a date, and just GO! Do some betting while you're there too.

I don't like going places by myself. I'd rather wait until a bunch of us can go. Most of my friends are married though and right now all we have is a guys night on Saturdays. I need some single friends or for my brother to unfuck his life so we can hang out again like we used to...going to various concerts and other events.

[Clang McFly]

Those girls won't mind you in make up or dresses either. Pay them enough and you could dress up looking like Maggie Thatcher again, and tbey'd not mind

I'll tell you one thing though.....my first time won't be with no $30 ugly ass hooker with shit stained panties like the one my friend told me about from his bachelor party in A/C.

[Carsman]

(Unless as sally has told me in the past, I'm gay. Then I'll be in a seemingly hetero normative relationship.)

OK simple Gay Test, when you see a naked woman do you get a Woody?
If you do, you're not Gay. If you don't, well keep buying your pretty dresses!

I'd fail that test. I rarely get a woody except when I masturbate which is usually while I'm wearing women's clothing or shortly there after. I dunno...I'm a freaky neurotic mess. Sometimes I wonder if I'm asexual or have low testosterone levels or something. I can't even seem to get a woody watching straight porn or at a strip club.

Well then Miss Clang, carry on with your pretty dresses and makeup!

It's hard to believe you've never been laid. If that's really true, You know if you really wanted to get laid, (by a woman) you could save up your money and pay a call girl!
Just sayin.

I'm waiting and waiting....my friend keeps telling me were going to go to Atlantic City and get some hookers.

Those girls won't mind you in make up or dresses either. Pay them enough and you could dress up looking like Maggie Thatcher again, and tbey'd not mind

I'll tell you one thing though.....my first time won't be with no $30 ugly ass hooker with shit stained panties like the one my friend told me about from his bachelor party in A/C.

Yep, that's why I said to save up your money and pay a "Call Girl", not a hooker.

They are clean, pretty, well dressed, and come to your place! (So I'm told. )

[sally]

Cars! You dirty old man.

[sally]

What if Clang gets a call girl and then can't get it up? Will they refund half the money?

[Maggot]

The good ones specialize in tough cases. They're professionals not immigrants, well at least the Russian ones are. But they're not cheap 3-400.00 is not unheard of.

[Clang McFly]

What if Clang gets a call girl and then can't get it up?  Will they refund half the money?

I can buy some Viagra. It will get up whether it wants to or not.

[Carsman]

Cars! You dirty old man.

I shower once a week whether or not I need it! 

[BigMark]

I would suggest a girl with a shallow vagina and deep voice.

[Carsman]

Oh Oh, are you suggesting a converted HE?!

[Fry Guy]

Good point. Clang check out for Adam's apple or possible scarring from Adam apple shaving. Sometimes girls shaving parts of their anatomy is not a good thing.
Unless you want to "take a walk on the wild side".
If you do, I sure as Hell do not want to hear about it

[Duchess]

Cars! You dirty old man.

He's right. Just like not all boobs are created equal, all sex workers aren't either. There's your common whores who will do the deed for a few bucks or in exchange for drugs and then there are gorgeous, educated women who can get top dollar for their services. I watched a documentary once about girls putting themselves through college by selling their ass. They had lovely homes, beautiful clothes, travel, awesome vacations. It was a job, nothing more, and once they accomplished their goals they were out of that lifestyle.

[Clang McFly]

Good point. Clang check out for Adam's apple or possible scarring from Adam apple shaving. Sometimes girls shaving parts of their anatomy is not a good thing.
Unless you want to "take a walk on the wild side".
If you do, I sure as Hell do not want to hear about it

So you do want to hear all about it. Gotcha. I'll be sure to post all the graphic excruciating details.

[Carsman]

Cars! You dirty old man.

He's right. Just like not all boobs are created equal, all sex workers aren't either. There's your common whores who will do the deed for a few bucks or in exchange for drugs and then there are gorgeous, educated women who can get top dollar for their services. I watched a documentary once about girls putting themselves through college by selling their ass. They had lovely homes, beautiful clothes, travel, awesome vacations. It was a job, nothing more, and once they accomplished their goals they were out of that lifestyle.

And some of them even went on to "Start their very own on line Forum"!

[Fry Guy]

Good point. Clang check out for Adam's apple or possible scarring from Adam apple shaving. Sometimes girls shaving parts of their anatomy is not a good thing.
Unless you want to "take a walk on the wild side".
If you do, I sure as Hell do not want to hear about it

So you do want to hear all about it. Gotcha. I'll be sure to post all the graphic excruciating details.

Jesus Christ!

[Clang McFly]

Good point. Clang check out for Adam's apple or possible scarring from Adam apple shaving. Sometimes girls shaving parts of their anatomy is not a good thing.
Unless you want to "take a walk on the wild side".
If you do, I sure as Hell do not want to hear about it

So you do want to hear all about it. Gotcha. I'll be sure to post all the graphic excruciating details.

Jesus Christ!

That's Jesus H. Christ to you mister!

[Carsman]

Cars! You dirty old man.

He's right. Just like not all boobs are created equal, all sex workers aren't either. There's your common whores who will do the deed for a few bucks or in exchange for drugs and then there are gorgeous, educated women who can get top dollar for their services. I watched a documentary once about girls putting themselves through college by selling their ass. They had lovely homes, beautiful clothes, travel, awesome vacations. It was a job, nothing more, and once they accomplished their goals they were out of that lifestyle.

And some of them even went on to "Start their very own on line Forum"!

Miss Clang, see you could start your own Forum!