Sporting experiences.

[Piglet]

This is probably going to far,  im sure you dont have any.

This one sticks out for me.

I played for Rubery Hospital FC, in south Birmingham,  we were a Brummy slapshot side, the film that had Paul Newman in it.

Anyway, we were playing a team from Wolverhampton, they were good, a passing team and started to slice us open.  Strangely our winger was defending and in our penalty area, he brought down a winger who was weaving his way through. 

He went down hard.    Unfortunatley, our keeper, who had recently been released from jail on attempted murder, was rushing out feet first.

On the wingers descent to the turf, our keepers exposed studs hit him in the chest.   It was ugly, he was down for 15 minutes a busted clavicle.   On resumption, i got the ball, and one of their players tried to scythe me down hip high, i passed the ball and managed to evade, unfortunatley, i got the ball back and he tried again.

So i hit him, and the game was abandoned.   I am not violent, but in that instance i lost it, violence communicates.   We had regular riots on the pitch, we had many excitable players, that keeper i mentioned once chased an opponent the length of the pitch after the opponent tried to win a 50 50 ball.  

I fully expect there to be no further entries here, i have one or two more.

I look forward to tales in the female dressing rooms, jolly hockey sticks being wielded, pants left hanging on hooks.    Am i going to far?, i can never tell.   Maybe Chang has one.    

[Clang McFly]

One of my high school classmates whipped me with a wet towel right on the penis in the gym class locker room. So, I got my revenge later by running at him full force and "accidentally" hitting him in the chest with a jai lai stick, knocking the wind out of him.

[Duchess]

Can I show all my pix from Lincoln Financial Field?     

[Piglet]

Well done chang, did you get a rise out of it? Whats a Lincoln financial field?, does it have flowers.? Of course you can, as long as it shows knickers that have been worn, if not do it anyway. Are you rich Duchess, banking, trading, property? I have a financial oppurtunity for you, it requires you placing 500,000 dollars in my account so i can triple it.

I am English.....i am trustworthy. Trust me, i know what im doing.

[Clang McFly]

Well done chang, did you get a rise out of it?    Whats a Lincoln financial field?, does it have flowers.?  Of course you can, as long as it shows knickers that have been worn, if not do it anyway.  Are you rich Duchess, banking, trading, property?  I have a financial oppurtunity for you, it requires you placing 500,000 dollars in my account so i can  triple it.

I am English.....i am trustworthy.  Trust me, i know what im doing.

Yes, I secretly got a rise out of my "accidental" hit of my classmate. No more rise today.

Yes, soo wee trustworthy. You're a regular Musty Piggins.

[Piglet]

After retiring from football in my mid thities, thats soccer to you, we started playing five a side in a school hall, anyway i started swapping tackles with a bloke, i was a robust player, it got a bit nasty.

Anyway we occasionally played on the artificial pitch at Birmingham University, and i was chasing a ball into a corner, and i heard steps behind me, i didnt know it was him, he took my legs away, and i was going to land on my bum, on what seemed to be concrete.

The automatic reaction is to try and save yourself and i did by placing my left hand under my bum, which i then landed on full weight, i fractured my wrist. It hurt for a long time, and i had some humourous comments on my caste.

I hadnt broken anything before that, i thought a fracture would hurt more, it was a dull ache. Another time i was playing football at primary school, took a shot and hit the post, it rebounded along the goal line, hit the other post and came out. Such is life.

When i was at school we had to shower after games, did you chang?, how did that go?

[BigMark]

Not well apparently.

[aussiefriend]

Not well apparently.

What the fuck is going on in this thread? Am I in the Matrix or some shit? Things are so bad in this thread that I can't work out if someone is trying to pull my leg? I do not want to state the obvious because there is just too much there, needless to say, if I had waltzed in here and ineloquently stated as much when I first got here back in the day, everyone would have ganged up on me and pounced. Would have been a bloodbath. 

Now apparently, you don't even have to string a sentence together correctly or utilize the correct grammar that the English language demands. Dare I say, it is grotesquely unreadable. Such a horrific sight to behold.

[Clang McFly]

Not well apparently.

What the fuck is going on in this thread? Am I in the Matrix or some shit? Things are so bad in this thread that I can't work out if someone is trying to pull my leg? I do not want to state the obvious because there is just too much there, needless to say, if I had waltzed in here and ineloquently stated as much when I first got here back in the day, everyone would have ganged up on me and pounced. Would have been a bloodbath. 

Now apparently, you don't even have to string a sentence together correctly or utilize the correct grammar that the English language demands. Dare I say, it is grotesquely unreadable. Such a horrific sight to behold.

Corr blimey mate. The koala is sniffing up the right eucalyptus tree. Tie me kangaroo down, sport and throw another shrimp on the barbie.

[Duchess]

[Piglet]

Aussie, i suspect life in general is beyond your understanding, that attention to detail is as good as it gets. How banal. You are a konk haired punk.

Where is aussie the original, did you break up?, shes left you hasnt she, or youve murdered her. Something is very wrong with you, just on a cursory basis, you breathe, on a more in depth analysis, im sure only an hour a day exists where you are not physically restrained in your institution.

[BigMark]

And I try
Oh my God, do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray
Oh my God, do I pray
I pray every single day
For revolution

[Piglet]

This is a sporting experience but a different one, it will show that when your up against the chosen one......me, you will lose.

As a lad i played dice cricket with Stan down the road, its a good game for under 12s. You have one or two innings like baseball, and eleven men. To cut it short when you go into bat, you throw the dice to see how many chances you get to be not out, say 4, then asign four chances to whoever, or 4 to one batter, then the game starts.

If you throw a five , then your out if you dont have a chance as previously explained.

Anyway, Stan would rack 150 to 200 all out, i would rack up 600 or 700 for only two or three wickets, Stan used to go mental with frustration.

Can you guess how i did it?, yes, i cheated. The dice we used was rounded at the edges which is important, i soon noticed that i could roll the dice, not throw it, and just one row of numbers would show up.

I chose the row of numbers that never had a five, ha ha ha ha ha.

Genius. I win again. If only i joined the army, England would never lose a war, oh, thats not needed we never have.

That is all. By the way Stan became an alcoholic, probably due to dice cricket.

[MirahM]

Exciting. I was on the edge of my seat reading about Stan. Maybe I should look him up

[Clang McFly]

Exciting. I was on the edge of my seat reading about Stan. Maybe I should look him up

If the Eminem song Stan is anything to go by, Piglet and Stan are likely the same person.

[username]

This is a sporting experience but a different one, it will show that when your up against the chosen one......me, you will lose.

As a lad i played dice cricket with Stan down the road, its a good game for under 12s.    You have one or two innings like baseball, and eleven men.  To cut it short when you go into bat, you throw the dice to see how many chances you get to be not out, say 4, then asign four chances to whoever, or 4 to one batter, then the game starts.

If you throw a five , then your out if you dont have a chance as previously explained.

Anyway, Stan would rack 150 to 200 all out, i would rack up 600 or 700 for only two or three wickets, Stan used to go mental with frustration.

Can you guess how i did it?, yes, i cheated.    The dice we used was rounded at the edges which is important, i soon noticed that i could roll the dice, not throw it,  and just one row of numbers would show up.

I chose the row of numbers that never had a five,  ha ha ha ha ha.

Genius.    I win again.    If only i joined the army, England would never lose a war, oh, thats not needed we never have.   

That is all.  By the way Stan became an alcoholic, probably due to dice cricket.

You’re making me crave slow cooked baby backed pork ribs. 

How is this not in the “what’s for dinner” thread, piggy?

[Piglet]

Your attempt at mocking is sad, innefectual.

[Piglet]

Here is another, and i got a lot of satisfaction from it. We were playing Selly Oak hospital in a cup semi final, word got into our dressing room just before kick off that they had an ex Aston Villa apprentice playing for them a six foot four giant from Barbados, a ringer, cheating was prevalent.

At that time in my career i was playing centre half and guess who i was marking.

Anyway, in the first half he scored, he got to a high ball and nodded in, i was three inches below. I changed tactics in the second half, instead of competing in the air, i got in front of him, cutting his supply, and because of that we got on top, he was running the game.

Near the end he was chasing a ball into the corner, i was just behind, he got there first and nicked the ball ahead, i was coming in like a freight train. I could have pulled out, but i didnt, all i was thinking was why not?

I hit him hip high, he jumped six feet into the air and cried out, it took a while for him to get up, the ref only booked me, i should have walked.....got sent off.

I expected him to get revenge, amazingly he did not, he just carried on like nothing had happened, a sign of a pro, Villa are one of Britains top teams. We won the game 4-1, we got four in the second half, we had the ball most of the time.

I got immense satisfaction from that tackle, it must have been what hunters feel.