10-24-2010, 04:25 PM
I saw this "article" on a site, and thought of Dick.
Do You Expose Yourself to Everyone? How to Reclaim Your Emotional Dignity
(edited content, source:Dick Link )
You are an emotional stripper.
If something is going on in your life, some total strangers know every gory detail. You feel agitated until you can verbalize your inner churnings.
But boy oh boy, that unfettered emotional regurgitation can really backfire on you if you are not careful.
Here are some of the types of people that can potentially strip your dignity and take advantage of your vulnerability:
The Emotional Voyeur
This is someone who enjoys hearing juicy gossip or looking into someone’s soul out of fascination or curiosity. They might feign real concern, or even feel some real concern, but at some point you feel a shift from an engaged listener to a peeping Tom. You feel more like a sideshow than a friend.
The Teaser
The teaser is a person who is a fair weather friend. When things a going great, they are right by your side. But if your life becomes difficult or you go to them for help, they quickly become unavailable or uncomfortable. You don’t feel safe to share the full spectrum of your life and emotions with them.
The Stonewaller
You share everything with this person, but they open up very little of themselves to you. They might be great listeners or give useful advice, but they create a dynamic of power or superiority by closing their own life off to you. This person becomes less of an equal friend or partner and more of a counselor or even a Svengali. You might feel manipulated or controlled.
The Fixer
The Fixer might be very well-intentioned, but they don’t give you space to think through an issue and come to your own conclusions. They seem to know the answer for you and want to provide the solution. Sometimes we may want someone to offer a fix for us, but most of the time, we just want to be heard. The Fixer can make us doubt ourselves and our own judgment. We feel confused.
The Bait and Switcher
This is someone who invites and encourages you to share what’s on your mind. Once you’ve presented the issue and laid yourself bare, they find a way to claim the problem as their own — but worse. Instead of listening, they seize the opportunity to present their latest crisis. You leave this conversation still burdened by your own concern, but now irritated and further overloaded by the bait and switch.
The Gossip
The Gossip is a close cousin of the Emotional Voyeur. A Voyeur often can’t wait to share your salacious tidbits with others, even if they’ve promised to be discreet. Somehow they let it slip or say something to another person out of “real concern” for you, but mostly because of the delectable power a secret-bearer carries. It’s just too good to hold in. The Gossip will use any irritation with you as justification for spreading your stuff. When this happens, you feel used and betrayed. Your trust is undermined.
The Wounder
The Wounder is a Gossip on steroids. The Wounder is either deeply wounded themselves or just plain mean, and they have no qualms about using the private information you entrusted with them as a way to hurt you. They will throw it back in your face, share it with others, or dismiss it as drivel. Not much is sacred with a Wounder — they will lash out like an animal when threatened or hurt and go right for the jugular. This is the deepest and most shocking of hurts.
If you are emotionally over-exposed and have been hurt by one of the characters listed above, you can learn strategies for protecting yourself.
One or two bad experiences might have made you wary of sharing too much of yourself, there should only be a handful of people with whom you can stand completely naked and vulnerable.
Do You Expose Yourself to Everyone? How to Reclaim Your Emotional Dignity
(edited content, source:Dick Link )
You are an emotional stripper.
If something is going on in your life, some total strangers know every gory detail. You feel agitated until you can verbalize your inner churnings.
But boy oh boy, that unfettered emotional regurgitation can really backfire on you if you are not careful.
Here are some of the types of people that can potentially strip your dignity and take advantage of your vulnerability:
The Emotional Voyeur
This is someone who enjoys hearing juicy gossip or looking into someone’s soul out of fascination or curiosity. They might feign real concern, or even feel some real concern, but at some point you feel a shift from an engaged listener to a peeping Tom. You feel more like a sideshow than a friend.
The Teaser
The teaser is a person who is a fair weather friend. When things a going great, they are right by your side. But if your life becomes difficult or you go to them for help, they quickly become unavailable or uncomfortable. You don’t feel safe to share the full spectrum of your life and emotions with them.
The Stonewaller
You share everything with this person, but they open up very little of themselves to you. They might be great listeners or give useful advice, but they create a dynamic of power or superiority by closing their own life off to you. This person becomes less of an equal friend or partner and more of a counselor or even a Svengali. You might feel manipulated or controlled.
The Fixer
The Fixer might be very well-intentioned, but they don’t give you space to think through an issue and come to your own conclusions. They seem to know the answer for you and want to provide the solution. Sometimes we may want someone to offer a fix for us, but most of the time, we just want to be heard. The Fixer can make us doubt ourselves and our own judgment. We feel confused.
The Bait and Switcher
This is someone who invites and encourages you to share what’s on your mind. Once you’ve presented the issue and laid yourself bare, they find a way to claim the problem as their own — but worse. Instead of listening, they seize the opportunity to present their latest crisis. You leave this conversation still burdened by your own concern, but now irritated and further overloaded by the bait and switch.
The Gossip
The Gossip is a close cousin of the Emotional Voyeur. A Voyeur often can’t wait to share your salacious tidbits with others, even if they’ve promised to be discreet. Somehow they let it slip or say something to another person out of “real concern” for you, but mostly because of the delectable power a secret-bearer carries. It’s just too good to hold in. The Gossip will use any irritation with you as justification for spreading your stuff. When this happens, you feel used and betrayed. Your trust is undermined.
The Wounder
The Wounder is a Gossip on steroids. The Wounder is either deeply wounded themselves or just plain mean, and they have no qualms about using the private information you entrusted with them as a way to hurt you. They will throw it back in your face, share it with others, or dismiss it as drivel. Not much is sacred with a Wounder — they will lash out like an animal when threatened or hurt and go right for the jugular. This is the deepest and most shocking of hurts.
If you are emotionally over-exposed and have been hurt by one of the characters listed above, you can learn strategies for protecting yourself.
One or two bad experiences might have made you wary of sharing too much of yourself, there should only be a handful of people with whom you can stand completely naked and vulnerable.
