CALLING ALL COOKS

[Duchess]

Black olive and cream cheese goes with anything.

Breaded and deep fried portabella mushrooms stuffed with shrimp and crab are really good!

What do you do with the olives & cheese?

I like the sound of mushrooms & shrimps, explain please.

[Duchess]

Damned dressage crowd!

Wrong. It's horseracing.

What the hell kind of preconceived ideas do you people have about me?

[Loaded]

Damned dressage crowd!

Wrong. It's horseracing.

What the hell kind of preconceived ideas do you people have about me?

All i have to go on is the picture you posted, so........

[BlueTiki]

Wrong. It's horseracing.

Sorry, Duchess. Us Western folk still enjoy the horn between our legs.

If Breeders – go simple and classic – Chilled Bollinger Grande Année with Beluga Caviar (Vintage and grade depends on guests and budget)

If $2 Bettors – Nachos with Velveeta cheese sauce and cheap semi-flat beer

[Lady Cop]

old standbys but always in good taste~~
stuffed mushrooms
shrimp cocktail
brie
a brie wheel baked in puff pastry.
domestic champagne.

your gala is no time to experiment with warthog testicles, fried scorpions or anything exotic.

[Loaded]

old standbys but always in good taste~~
stuffed mushrooms
shrimp cocktail
brie
a brie wheel baked in puff pastry.
domestic champagne.

your gala is no time to experiment with warthog testicles, fried scorpions or anything exotic.

Those shrimp look like legs.

[Duchess]

I really like the look of the brie in the pastry! That looks fantastic! I want Dick to tell me more about the 'shrooms & shrimp and I have a question for Cracker.

These are great ideas. You're all such good lil' bitches. Thanks.

[sally]

These are really good and easy to make. They have no meat in them either which I guess is a plus for you. You don't have to worry about them cooling down either because they still taste good at room temp.

Tomato mozzerella tartlets

Ingredients
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1-1/2 cups seeded chopped tomatoes
³⁄₄ cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh basil
Pepper to taste
24 frozen miniature phyllo tart shells
6 pitted ripe olives, quartered
Grated Parmesan cheese

Directions
In a small skillet, saute garlic in oil for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes; cook until liquid has evaporated. Remove from the heat; stir in the mozzarella cheese, basil and pepper.
Spoon 1 teaspoonful into each tart shell. Top each with an olive piece; sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 450° for 5-8 minutes or until bubbly. Yield: 2 dozen.

[QueenBee]

This one works for me....you make it the day before.

Texas caviar:

1 can black eyed peas

1 can black beans

1 can shoe peg corn

1 jar chopped pimentos

1 jar chopped jalapeno peppers

1 small red onion--chopped

2 stalks celery--chopped

for Marinade:

¹⁄₂ c olive oil ¹⁄₂ c vegetable oil

¹⁄₂ c sugar

¹⁄₂ c apple cider vinegar

Pour all cans & jars into colandar, drain and rinse. Add onions, celery, peppers and pimentos.

Heat marinade to disolve sugar. Pour over mixture and refrigerate overnight. Drain and serve with nacho chips

[Cracker]

Cracker is on duty. Ask away.

[QueenBee]

PARTY POTATOES

8 lbs potatoes
peeled, washed and cubed
Cook until ½ done

Drain and add 1 cup Hellman’s Mayonaise
8 oz velveeta cheese
1 small onion, chopped
sliced pimento olives
mix.

Brown 1 lb bacon
Cut into pieces and add to potatoes

Bake in 350 oven uncovered for one hour.

[Cracker]

This one works for me....you make it the day before.

Texas caviar:

1 can black eyed peas

1 can black beans

1 can shoe peg corn

1 jar chopped pimentos

1 jar chopped jalapeno peppers

1 small red onion--chopped

2 stalks celery--chopped

for Marinade:

¹⁄₂ c olive oil ¹⁄₂ c vegetable oil

¹⁄₂ c sugar

¹⁄₂ c apple cider vinegar

Pour all cans & jars into colandar, drain and rinse. Add onions, celery, peppers and pimentos.

Heat marinade to disolve sugar. Pour over mixture and refrigerate overnight. Drain and serve with nacho chips

We call this Redneck Caviar and use Italian dressing to marinate. I serve it with Tostitos Scoops. This is freaking awesome.

Have you ever had sauerkraut salad? It has the same dressing you listed only it is drained and rinsed kraut along with the onions, peppers, and pimentos. Loves it.

[Duchess]

I don't think my friends would eat my lovely dinner if I fed them eight pounds of potatoes before the main course.

[sally]

Jalapenos halved and seeded, stuffed with cream cheese, wrapped in bacon and broiled are also good. Not everyone can handle the jalapenos though.

[Lady Cop]

sorry if i missed it, what will the entree be?

[Cracker]

Angels on horseback are probably my faves. I usually make Devils on horseback (scallops wrapped in ¹⁄₂ slice of bacon, secured with a toothpick, cooked either in a skillet or in the broiler). Sometimes I roll the bacon in a little brown sugar first. I serve with quartered lemons to add zing. I also precook the bacon for about 2 minutes on a paper towel in the microwave to make sure it will cook all the way. It is still limber then, but has started the cooking process. (make sure to soak the toothpicks in water or they will burn like a mofo) If you do this with dates, get the big ones and slice them open halfway (longwise), make sure there is no pit and stuff with blue cheese then wrap with ¹⁄₄ slice of bacon and put in the broiler. Put foil on your pan or you will never get the bitch clean.

I like the baked Brie served with sliced granny smith apples. Sometimes I just buy really good Gouda and serve with thin sliced green apples.

If you do the shrimp cocktail, make your own cocktail sauce. Ketchup (Heinz only, the other kinds are icky), prepared horseradish, lemon juice. That's all. It's about a thousand times better than bottled sauces.

[Duchess]

sorry if i missed it, what will the entree be?

I've ordered a porkette from the butcher. I intend for that to be for sandwiches, I'll have bakery rolls for that, I'm also getting meatballs/gravy from that same butcher. Everything will be set out buffet style, salads, chips/dip, Christmas type desserts, a lot of fat ass food.

[Duchess]

I like how those angels on horseback sound, Cracker!

[Cracker]

If you can find the red pepper jelly, you should try that. I know it sounds fucking disgusting, but it is so, so good. You just put a block of cream cheese on a pretty plate and pour the red pepper jelly over it. Serve with Triscuits. I don't know why, but in the South it HAS to be Triscuits (regular flavor). Some people put sliced green olives (with pimentos) and drained, crushed pineapple in the cream cheese first.

[Cracker]

And sausage balls are what everybody in the world (except Duchess) has at Christmas (and Jews, because they are made with pork, OK bad Jews probably have them).


•2 cups Bisquick
•1 pound sausage
•10 oz. pack of shredded cheese (or just shred your own from a block of cheddar)
Directions:

Put everything in the bowl and mix. This is easiest to do with your hands though it feels pretty gross at this stage.

Roll the mixture into balls, a little smaller than golf balls.

Place the sausage balls on a cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degress F for about 20 minutes. The Bisquick balls should be lightly browned wtih the meat cooked through.

If you have any left over (which is rare), then store them in an air tight container in the refrigerator. They can be reheated in the oven or the microwave.