Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
Another board had this question and I thought it was interesting.
Is it rude to ask someone how someone else died? For example I ran into the mom of my old high school boyfriend last week. The BF's older brother died last August. I didn't know that. So I asked what happened. How did he die? The mom was not offended at all. Maybe because I was always close with his family.
So do you think it's offensive?
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 1,740
Threads: 23
Joined: Jan 2011
Not at all. I always ask.
Posts: 86,762
Threads: 2,946
Joined: Jun 2008
If it's a surprise I'd probably say, 
OMG! What happened?
I don't know really, I suppose it would depend on the depth of the relationship. I'm very private so I might refrain from asking what I think is a personal question.
Posts: 37,639
Threads: 1,590
Joined: Jun 2008
A guy came in last week with a hook for an arm and I said "jeez! how the fuck did THAT happen?" The secretary got all fucked up because of it. So no........ask away. Just be prepared for the answer.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
Posts: 16,810
Threads: 188
Joined: Dec 2009
If I barely knew someone, I might not ask but other than that I think I'd say "I'm sorry, what happened"?
I'm trying to think of situations where people might not want to talk about the circumstances of death. For awhile, AIDs had a stigma associated with it (do people still die from AIDs?) and I guess some people might feel uncomfortable talking about a suicide or drug overdose. *shrugs* Like I said, I'd probably ask. Or trust my instincts. Sometimes you can sense whether someone wants to talk about things like that, or not.
Posts: 37,639
Threads: 1,590
Joined: Jun 2008
Do people still die from AIDS?..........C'mon.
Are you drunk again?
Did you move to Ohio?
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
Posts: 16,810
Threads: 188
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 86,762
Threads: 2,946
Joined: Jun 2008
(04-07-2011, 05:30 PM)username Wrote: my cul-de-sac, lol.
Do you mind having neighbors? Did you WANT to live among people in that regard? I ask because I sometimes see these really awesome homes that are built within feet of their neighbors and I always think who the hell would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to live next to someone. I don't get that at all.
Posts: 26,196
Threads: 228
Joined: Dec 2008
I live on a cul-de-sac too. I like the few neighbors I do have and there is enough space between our homes to still have plenty of privacy. I don't think I'd like living out in the middle of nowhere with no one around for miles.
Posts: 86,762
Threads: 2,946
Joined: Jun 2008
(04-07-2011, 05:48 PM)sally Wrote: I don't think I'd like living out in the middle of nowhere with no one around for miles.
That's what my friends tell me when I ask how can they stand living in town/city.
Posts: 16,810
Threads: 188
Joined: Dec 2009
(04-07-2011, 05:35 PM)Duchess Wrote: (04-07-2011, 05:30 PM)username Wrote: my cul-de-sac, lol.
Do you mind having neighbors? Did you WANT to live among people in that regard? I ask because I sometimes see these really awesome homes that are built within feet of their neighbors and I always think who the hell would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to live next to someone. I don't get that at all.
I'd love to have a little more land and definitely more house but with the kids, it would be horribly inconvenient to NOT live in a "neighborhood". The kids walk and bike to their friends' houses (and vice versa)--it would suck if I had to drive them to and from all the time.
I also like that I live just about 5 minutes away from a grocery store. My friend lives more on the outskirts and it takes her at least 15 minutes to get to a grocery store (and longer still to get to a freeway which is the only sane way to get from one town to the next around here). That would bug me.
Posts: 16,302
Threads: 311
Joined: Nov 2008
I live on a court too. It's more like a figure 8. I like it for the kids cuz they can ride their bikes and stuff and we don't have to worry about traffic. But I don't like having the neighbors so close. That is annoying.
Devil Money Stealing Aunt
Posts: 3,782
Threads: 427
Joined: Nov 2008
I probably would be in the OMG what happened group if it were someone close or if the person were young. Gotta love the obits when the dead person is about 150 years old and they say John Smith 105 dies "suddenly" or "unexpectedly". For crissake..they were OLD.
On the subtopic here....if I had scads of money to spend on a nice new place, it would be where the nearest neighbor were on the otherside of a lake or something. This being said as the kid next door to me is learning to play the tuba..or some obnoxiously loud annoying instrument.
![[Image: Zy3rKpW.png]](https://i.imgur.com/Zy3rKpW.png)
Okay, I deserved that. I rarely hear of deaths in the United States (a quick google said that about 18,000 people died of the disease in the U.S. in 2008). My narrow little mind wasn't looking further than my cul-de-sac, lol.
