Will you choose Assisted Living or your own home w/nursing care?

[Maggot]

Thats it.............I'm taking Sally out of my sig line and sticking in someone else that likes vegetables .

[aussiefriend]

It doesn't cost that much Sally. I think you would be surprised at how much it would cost for someone to come in for an hour or so, depending on how much assistance is needed. It just would be a part of your cost of living expenses. Your children, if they are not trained, are not going to be able to care for you as well as someone who does it for a living. Moreover, they may not want to. Some people just don't have a gift to care for people in that way.

At the end of the day, the most important thing, for longevity is quality of life.

[Midwest Spy]

My 88 year old grandmother has been in a facility for just over 2 years now on Mississippi's gulf coast. My dad visits her constantly and she really is in the best that that area has to offer.

But, after this most recent visit, he came back saying how he simply wished it would end for her.

All the falls, the staff that's there but doesn't really give a shit, but more
Importantly, the true sorrow he can detect in his mother in being there.

[aussiefriend]

My 88 year old grandmother has been in a facility for just over 2 years now on Mississippi's gulf coast. My dad visits her constantly and she really is in the best that that area has to offer.

But, after this most recent visit, he came back saying how he simply wished it would end for her.

All the falls, the staff that's there but doesn't really give a shit, but more
Importantly, the true sorrow he can detect in his mother in being there.

Good points raised here. How do you know what kind of care she is receiving when your backs are turned? When you are not looking, what's going on? What sort of monitoring is going on with lesser skilled staff? What sort of screening is done? Are there security measures to ensure that they are not vulnerable to elder abuse?

MWS has just said this is the 'best' that area has to offer. What about facilities that are not so good?

[pspence]

I'm well off, but I wouldn't say rich. If the kids want my money then they better be prepared to take shifts.

love it

[Midwest Spy]

My 88 year old grandmother has been in a facility for just over 2 years now on Mississippi's gulf coast. My dad visits her constantly and she really is in the best that that area has to offer.

But, after this most recent visit, he came back saying how he simply wished it would end for her.

All the falls, the staff that's there but doesn't really give a shit, but more
Importantly, the true sorrow he can detect in his mother in being there.

Good points raised here. How do you know what kind of care she is receiving when your backs are turned? When you are not looking, what's going on? What sort of monitoring is going on with lesser skilled staff? What sort of screening is done? Are there security measures to ensure that they are not vulnerable to elder abuse?

MWS has just said this is the 'best' that area has to offer. What about facilities that are not so good?

Aussie, my aunt lives in Biloxi near her facility, and sees her almost daily. She's been moved 2 or 3 times to my knowledge, and money has never been a factor (due to grandma's sizeable nestegg, which apparently is in danger of disappearing).

My other grandmother ended up in a terrible place here in MN. Stinky place, and most of the residents were completely out of it (mentally), including my g'ma.

If I get to the point where I'm pissing and shitting myself and DON'T KNOW IT, I'd want to end it.

[aussiefriend]

That's what you say now.

[sally]

It doesn't cost that much Sally. I think you would be surprised at how much it would cost for someone to come in for an hour or so, depending on how much assistance is needed. It just would be a part of your cost of living expenses. Your children, if they are not trained, are not going to be able to care for you as well as someone who does it for a living. Moreover, they may not want to. Some people just don't have a gift to care for people in that way.

At the end of the day, the most important thing, for longevity is quality of life.

It costs about 120,000 per year if you have alzheimers and hire a nurse to come in 24/7. I know because thats what I did for my grandma. It was their money that they saved for all their lives and her wish was to stay in her own home as long as possible.

Before my grandpa passed away he mentioned to me that grandma was getting a little forgetful. He ended up being admitted to the hospital and the next morning I picked grandma up to take her to visit him and she didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. She didn't even know he was missing. That's when I knew she was a little more than just forgetful

I didn't know what the hell to do with her so I would pack her food everyday and bring her to the hospital to sit with grandpa for 8 hrs untill I got home from work. It's not like they did anything different at the house. It seemed like a good idea untill I got a call from the hospital saying I can't leave this lady here anymore.

Anyway it was a huge expense taking care of her and I could have saved that money and did it myself if I didn't have my own family or if I had siblings to help out with her care.

[aussiefriend]

End stage alzheimers/dementia needs ²⁴⁄₇ professional care. I don't know if you would even have a choice with that. Certainly here, in this country there is an ACAT (aged and community assessment team) that come out and assess your living conditions etc. If you are in neglect or not able to care for yourself, the government agency steps in and you are put into a facility.

As much as your family might love you, they are not trained or may themselves even be physically able to care for your hygiene needs at end stage alzheimers. The longer you are at home the better, however, you cannot escape the inevitable. If your family can bring a nurse in for a couple of hours a day then that is not $120 000. For full time care, I would say that would be necessary, but not for basic needs. That high cost is totally end stage stuff.