Baby Oil Wrestling

[Maggot]

I have chased an oiled up pig before, its no fun. You catch it and "pop" out the top it comes and runs away. You catch it again and "pop" out the bottom it goes. It aint worth 100.00 and its damn near impossible.

[Jimbone]

We're all getting up there in age and lets just face it, no one wants to think about middle aged + people wrestling in baby oil. Big saggy tits and gray haired balls flopping all over the place is not a pretty sight, not to mention the broken hips.

Killjoy.

[HairOfTheDog]

I really thought this thread was going to be more popular... shame.

Maybe it’s the whole naked thing, Jim. MS has tossed out a few different variations of the same sultry scenario in the past. But, my mind goes to a humorous showdown of the Mock Men vs. the Mock Women.

@pspence is better at painting these mental pictures than I, but I'll give it a shot.

Mock: Naked Wrestling - Battle of the Sexes

@Clang McFly vs. @username: Clang is chasing user around the ring, desperately waving a pair of “underpants” and begging her to put them on while user laughs and taunts the one man on the planet who’d be making such a request of her. Finally, she lets him almost catch her, strikes a very explicit pose, and “bam” – knocks him flat out with a flurry of quick jabs (he hits the ground with one arm still in the air, waving the underpants).

@Maggot vs. drunk @aussiefriend: aussie is spryly jostling around the ring whilst giving her view on life, love, war, art and friendship. Every time she gets on a good roll, ever-grinning Maggot pulls a squeaky toy out of his secret hiding place (?) and makes her laugh til she cries. Finally, after a few rounds, he lets her come in for the punch, takes it like a man, then tickles her and pins her. Match over; one for the guys….

@sally vs. @Midwest Spy: they walk into the ring naked. Sally gives MS a quick once-over and MS keeps staring... Eventually, sally says, “Jesus Christ, what the fuck are you waiting for?”, at which point MS’s knees buckle and he crumples to the ground. Another victory for the women (though MS rightfully considers himself a winner).

@Crash vs. @FAHQTOO: While the crowd waits for this 4^th showdown of the night, Crash and F2 are backstage doing their own thing. Finally the refs drags them into the ring at which point they simply bow, laugh, and saunter off. A tie is officially declared.

@Duchess vs. @TheKid: This one could go on for a while and is billed as the grand finale (though many expect that TheKid will be a no-show).

@LadyCop and @Queenbee are the female coaches. @Jimbone and @Sixfooter are the male coaches. Sharp, tough and strategic guides trying to herd cats…

@JsMom, @ramseycat and @pspence are the caring attending staff – tending to those who get injured (if and when they damn feel like it).

@Cracker is the emcee – calling all the action and keeping the participants and the crowd going...

@Mohammed and @Carsman are the impartial referees (well, maybe slightly partial towards the women, hopefully...)

@KrystalShores and I are selling conscessions (and sneaking beers and peanuts…)

@OnBendedKnee is using his expertise to oversee security for the event; rumor has it there may be some shady characters trying to slip in and that some Mock Wrestlers may be contemplating taking "dives"...

@ESAD is the bookmaker; working behind the scenes to reel in the most mock bang for the buck.

@Zerospheres is capturing all of the images (later to be expertly altered for maximum amusement), while @Donovan and @Ilyanna colorfully capture the events in writing.

Other esteemed Mockers, MIA Mockers, crime-forum-only posters, and newcomers are wagering, analyzing, cheering, booing, and mostly just shaking their heads (will they enter the ring one day soon?)...

[Maggot]

That took some work but was worth it.

[Duchess]

That was great, Hot D!

I'd fuck him up, while he was down I'd stuff a sammich in his mouth and foot on his chest I would fist pump the air.

[Carsman]

I nominate Hot D for prez, she put out a better platform then what's running.

[JsMom]

^^ Amen to that.

She knew better then to put me in the ring. ::

[ramseycat]

That WAS awsome HotD. ahahaaa

[FAHQTOO]

That was great HotD.
I won't tell anyone that along with the beer and peanuts, you slipped me and Crash some chronic...probably why we couldn't be bothered to give a shit...

[Jimbone]

Nice work HotD!

[sally]

Why am I stuck being naked with MS .

[Maggot]

We know you will kick his ass and tie his hair up like Pipi Longstockings?

[username]

Why am I stuck being naked with MS .

Yeah, well I'm stuck with the guy who will probably be sporting a nicer bikini than my own so quit ur bitching.

[HairOfTheDog]

Why am I stuck being naked with MS .

We know you will kick his ass and tie his hair up like Pipi Longstockings?

Yep, the potential for perky Pipi pigtailing played into picking the participants for the sally vs. MS showdown, but that plan didn't pan out.

Still, I think it was a very fair match-up. While everyone there was unclothed, MS got to be in the ring with naked sally and sally won the match without having to touch any gray-haired balls or anything.

[Midwest Spy]

Why am I stuck being naked with MS .

I've been hitting the gym hard lately. You may like what you see?

I also understand that you don't mind some hair-pulling and gentle ass-slapping?

[HairOfTheDog]

Why am I stuck being naked with MS .

Yeah, well I'm stuck with the guy who will probably be sporting a nicer bikini than my own so quit ur bitching.

You were naked too, with naked Clang.

Hey, MS set the stage for the naked lubed Mock wrestling, I just picked the showdowns (such that the women avoided uninvited physical contact). Well, except for aussiefriend - she got a little maggot tickle to cheer her up, even though it cost her the match.

[Maggot]

Yeah well I've been setting fence posts and cultivating gardens and lugging a bunch of rocks all over so dont be surprized if I hand you a shovel.

[HairOfTheDog]

Yeah well I've been setting fence posts and cultivating gardens and lugging a bunch of rocks all over so dont be surprized if I hand you a shovel.

It was a slow work day and a lazy night so far, so hand it over. I can work the shovel for ya...

[ramseycat]

Did any of you actually use baby oil on the baby? I don't think I ever have. I have used it to lay out in the sun. I use it to shave my legs. I use it to moisturize. And of course the occasional wresting match. But never for the baby. Hmm.

[HairOfTheDog]

Did any of you actually use baby oil on the baby? I don't think I ever have. I have used it to lay out in the sun. I use it to shave my legs. I use it to moisturize. And of course the occasional wresting match. But never for the baby. Hmm.

Actually, I've never used baby oil on a baby either (lots of baby powder when my nieces and nephews were little, but never the oil).

I use baby oil to take off my eye make-up and sometimes in the shower.

Never wrestled in baby oil either, except in a mock scenario.