Fuck Muhammad!!!

[Mohammed]

It's like being stuck in between that classic conversation of Hu's on first base and what's the other name?

Let's go back to the beginning and to make it blonde proof, I shall also include the thinking process of each one concerned.

Me saying: "You know, the US Embassy here has a problem because they got 70.000 Americans right here in Yemen."
Me thinking: *Well, should be clear to everybody that those are actual Yemeni folks who have been given a US Passport and Citizenship, and can even keep up a dual citizenship, meaning they can have a US as well as a Yemeni Passport at the same time. Just like Germany for instance. Hey stop it, you are clearly thinking too much."

HotD saying :"Hang on there buster, when the fuck did that happen that 70.000 Americans moved from here to Yemen and set up a Saloon and Starbucks in a town over there?! What bull!"
HotD thinking: "I look freakin awesome in this new yoga pants, just look at my butt there!"

Me saying: "But most gorgeous, I never said any Americans came over here to set up town. I said you have 70.000 American Citizens here, which creates quite a problem for the US Embassy unlike any of the other Embassies."
Me thinking: "Where the fuck did she get that idea from? Must be the Bloody Mary's she's drowning. Hmmm .... I bet she's wearing Yoga Pants. Yummy!"

HotD saying: "It's Immigrants! You said I M M I G R A N T S! That is people who go from here to there. Plus! It can't be 70.000! That's way to much!!"
HotD thinking: "Pfffft, 70.000! They don't even build boats that can carry that many people. But seriously, my ass looks great in this Yoga Pants, I wish I could wear them outside the house."

Me saying: "What the heck is wrong with you?! It is American Citizens. C I T I Z E N S!! Those could be anything really. Bears, badgers, who the fuck cares, as long as they hold a US Passport, which they got issued by the US. Like all your Mexicans, Drug Lords, and Chinese Railway builders, who are being issued one. So they come back here and live here because they like it that way. Seriously, where the hell do you get those ideas of yours from?!?!"
Me thinking: "I never wanted her more!!!"

HotD saying: "Pffft, anybody could be your neighbour, besides, I bet she is not in that position anymore anyway as I just saw on Fox News they closed the Embassy over there. You can't bullshit me buster!"
HotD thinking: "Check my cheeks baby, yeah, check those cheeks."

User saying: "Ahem, sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but those US Passport holders living in foreign lands, did or did they not live here, because I think they would have to because otherwise they wouldn't have those passports in the first place. I think. My, this is all so confusing."
User thinking: "...................... what?"

Me saying: "Good Lord Almighty, what have I done?!"
Me thinking: "*%^$&#!!!!!"

User saying: "Ha! So you are agreeing with HotD then, they are all Americans!"
User thinking: "Hi hi hi hi hi hi!"

Me saying: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"
Me thinking: "Somebody fucking shoot me!!!!"

The End

[Duchess]

Hahaha!

[HairOfTheDog]

Mo, you seriously need to cut way back on the qat-chewing, man. Either that, or demand that Cynical Ninja's shadows vacate your temporal lobe at once! Your delusions are colorful and amusing, but it's clear your grasp on reality is slip sliding away.

A more accurate synopsis of our exchange...

HOTD: "hmmm, where did you get 70,000 Americans living in Yemen, Mo? -- I've not seen any published count and that strikes me as a surprisingly high estimate."

MO: "Why yes, I too was surprised. BUT, my neighbor the embassy worker tossed about that number 4 years ago during an informal meal-time conversation and I heard it with my own two all-knowing ears.

Looky here; ponder my water-color portrait of Yemeni immigration history and my personal customized definition of "immigrant". You see? I have provided you proof, beyond my shadows' doubt. And, so, you utterly adorable ignorant American woman, take this bone which I have thrown you and lick it, lick it real good! Enlightenment awaits you."

HOTD: "Yeah, so I've considered all of your postulations and though I continue to acknowledge that 70,000 might be right, I would still be surprised if the number of Americans living in Yemen is really that high."

MO: "Wha.....?!?!? OH. MY. ALLAH. Still a non-believer, eh? Well, then, your refusal to accept the word of the Mock prophet and Elisabeth as gospel must be due to the fact that you are (gasp).......wholly AMERICAN.

Now, I, of course, have unquestionable insight into the lives and minds of you A-wholes. So, so, so............you cute cuddly little cupcake you, throw on your yoga pants, grab yer gun, switch off Hannity and run your sweet ready-to-spread cheeks along -- for surely there is a theater-massacring madman, or an evil black person, or an avenging Muslim in your midst whom you should be fearing and focusing upon right about now."

I still think you're peachy. And, you have convinced me of one thing here, Mohammad -- I have faith that you are a devout stehpinkler, never shall you be a sitzpinkler. Am I right?

[Duchess]

I want to see your butt in yoga pants now.

[Mohammed]

Don't we all!

Sitzpinkler, Stehpinkler, depends where I am really, but what mostly matters is that you don't sprinkle while you pinkel, so make sure you ain't got no wrinkle in your dinkel!

I just got the most fabulous news that I'll be out of here tomorrow morning and back with my girls. Fuck yeah!

[HairOfTheDog]

Sitzpinkler, Stehpinkler, depends where I am really, but what mostly matters is that you don't sprinkle while you pinkel, so make sure you ain't got no wrinkle in your dinkel!

I hear ya. Pro-choice is definitely where it's at.


indeed. Great news for you and the girls, Mo.

[Duchess]

I just got the most fabulous news that I'll be out of here tomorrow morning and back with my girls. Fuck yeah!

Good news!

How do you get in & out of town? Tank?

[Mohammed]

Nope, by Helicopter



I even have speakers installed on the side of it and play Wagners Ride of the Valqyries. Now all I need is a sexy beach, surf shorts and napalm!

It's still dark outside, take off in 2 hours and the girls don't know yet.

[Duchess]

You are too cool, Mo. Mock's very own James Bond.

[Mohammed]

Nothing better than the face of a 6 year old when you suddenly stand behind her!

James Bond I wish. Just for the Aston Martins!! Got enough chicks, plenty to handle and pussy galore, since we started burning our own brandy Martini's ain't a problem either, the Olives are exceptionally excellent around here, but an Aston Martin!!

Right, time to get hammered and cuddled. Yeah baby!

[HairOfTheDog]

Yesterday, IS claimed that it would kill Japanese journalist Kenji Goto and Jordanian pilot Lt. Muath al-Kaseasbeh in 24 hours if Jordan didn't release Sajida al-Rishawi, the woman who was sentenced to death in Jordan for her involvement in a 2005 al-Qaida attack on hotels in Amman that killed 60 people.

Media is reporting that Jordan is willing to make the exchange. If true, that's disappointing to me. Jordan's formal policy is not to negotiate with terrorists and this is the first time IS is known to have pushed for a prisoner exchange. The pilot's family is lobbying very publicly and very hard on the Jordanian government to make the deal and have also asked Turkey to intervene.

I feel terribly for Mr. Goto's family and the pilot's family, but I really hope the exchange doesn't happen.

[Midwest Spy]

Yesterday, IS claimed that it would kill Japanese journalist Kenji Goto and Jordanian pilot Lt. Muath al-Kaseasbeh in 24 hours if Jordan didn't release Sajida al-Rishawi, the woman who was sentenced to death in Jordan for her involvement in a 2005 al-Qaida attack on hotels in Amman that killed 60 people.

Media is reporting that Jordan is willing to make the exchange. If true, that's disappointing to me. Jordan's formal policy is not to negotiate with terrorists and this is the first time IS is known to have pushed for a prisoner exchange. The pilot's family is lobbying very publicly and very hard on the Jordanian government to make the deal and have also asked Turkey to intervene.

I feel terribly for Mr. Goto's family and the pilot's family, but I really hope the exchange doesn't happen.

I don't know.

In this case, I'm okay with exchanging the pilot for the woman.

[HairOfTheDog]

Why, MS -- because she's a woman?

She was involved in the mass murder of 60 people.

I can't see how the principle and rationale behind negotiating in this case (thereby further empowering and legitimatizing extremists/terrorists) is any different than paying ransom or caving in to other terrorist threats.

[Midwest Spy]

I understand your point.

With military personnel I feel a little differently.

I can't really explain it, but I know that prisoner swaps have gone on for centuries.

[HairOfTheDog]

Thanks, MS. Difference of opinion.

I understand exchanging POWs at the end of a war or conflict -- that's common practice and appropriate, in my opinion. But, that's not what's being considered here.

I think it would be a very bad idea to swap a convicted mass murderer (female or male) for a member of any military.

[username]

You are too cool, Mo. Mock's very own James Bond.

He looks like Princess Leia with a 5 o'clock shadow in that pic.

[HairOfTheDog]

I believe that username is calling you a sitzpinkler, Mo. The nerve!!

But, she's right -- there is a rather uncanny resemblance between you and Leia.





Though the princess had much nicer buns, if you ask me.

[Mohammed]

It will be even more uncanny shortly as I am instructed by my daughter to grow my hair for some undisclosed reason since we've been in Bali.

But my buns are exceptional I would like you to know. I am doing squats regularly!

[aussiefriend]

Would Mo be angry at us if we called him Princess? I mean, our Mo, not the original guy? I mean, these days you are afraid to sneeze incase it is taken the wrong way or is some sort of medievil blasphemy that someone hasn't told you about.

[Duchess]

I think it would be a very bad idea to swap a convicted mass murderer (female or male) for a member of any military.

I was listening to some talking heads last night and like you they think this exchange is a very bad idea and in trying to convince Jordon not to do it we really don't have a leg to stand on given our prisoner exchange. They spoke in detail about the female prisoner and went on to discuss her crimes. She is evil personified and they all insisted she will kill again.