(10-29-2012, 06:40 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: It appears that in all the 'correct' limericks, lines 1, 2 & 5 rhyme, and lines 3 & 4 rhyme, but are different from the other 3?

I thought I did that in my most recent effort?

I ain't a poet and for sure know it.

MS, these are the guides for writing a limerick (which I had my elementary students do every year - some were hilarious).

You're right, Lines 1, 2, & 5 do rhyme as well as 3 and 4 rhyme.

Lines 1, 2, and 5 should have 8 syllables each while lines 3 and 4 should have 5 syllables each.

(I loved this lesson so much that I compiled a booklet of them with each kid illustrating his/her own limerick.)

(10-29-2012, 09:35 PM)F.U. Dont ask again Wrote: HOTD, If I remember righ OP didn't want to play the game and it was short lived. Man I almost miss the old OversizedPoophole the british but bandit, as I called him. Or at least miss the insults we once slung at each other.
This old thread also brings back memories of the days when I did MOCK news at 5 on sundays. That was fun while it lasted.

I just found those old 5 O'clock news threads. Pretty funny stuff, Mr. Pumpkin Ass....

Guess who this one is about - he can even illustrate it like my kids did.

There once was a boob-loving guy,
He begged to see boobs, never shy.
So obsessed was he,
Even asked Hot D.
Who was too classy to comply.

HotD took some pictures in Frisco...

She knew some guys who played in Crisco...

Her vines were divine...

Her pictures sublime...

But then HotD was revealed as a big ho'.

(10-29-2012, 10:53 PM)Teacher Wrote: Guess who this one is about - he can even illustrate it like my kids did.

There once was a boob-loving guy,
He begged to see boobs, never shy.
So obsessed was he,
Even asked Hot D.

Who was too classy to comply.

Hee hee. Teacher's got MS's number.

(10-29-2012, 11:18 PM)username Wrote: HotD took some pictures in Frisco...

She knew some guys who played in Crisco...

Her vines were divine...

Her pictures sublime...

But then HotD was revealed as a big ho'.

Hey! Even Duchess's "HERE'S YOUR SIGN" thread called me out as a ho who will ultimately die of venereal disease.


I've done nothing but Mock off all day, gonna pay for it tomorrow. One last limerick.


FAHQTOO is a foxy little Mocker

A hard-hitting, no-bullshit, straight-talker

She's also funny and kind

And with a lightening-quick mind

Knocks the Spy Man straight off of his rocker...

There is a guy named Clang
He likes to chung his wang
He must confess,
He looks good in a dress
And has balls that droopily hang

(10-29-2012, 11:38 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote:

(10-29-2012, 10:53 PM)Teacher Wrote: Guess who this one is about - he can even illustrate it like my kids did.

There once was a boob-loving guy,
He begged to see boobs, never shy.
So obsessed was he,
Even asked Hot D.

Who was too classy to comply.

Hee hee. Teacher's got MS's number.

(10-29-2012, 11:18 PM)username Wrote: HotD took some pictures in Frisco...

She knew some guys who played in Crisco...

Her vines were divine...

Her pictures sublime...

But then HotD was revealed as a big ho'.

Hey! Even Duchess's "HERE'S YOUR SIGN" thread called me out as a ho who will ultimately die of venereal disease.


I've done nothing but Mock off all day, gonna pay for it tomorrow. One last limerick.


FAHQTOO is a foxy little Mocker

A hard-hitting, no-bullshit, straight-talker

She's also funny and kind

And with a lightening-quick mind

Knocks the Spy Man straight off of his rocker...

YAY!!!!! I was going to ask you to do one for me.

I love it!!

Okay, username. The gloves are coming off, you "ho" slinger.

Username is a milfy Mock ho

From ESAD. To Dono. Next up, Mo?

Though she’d blow a giraffe

She always good for a laugh

I kinda like her, but don’t you dare tell HER so!…

(10-30-2012, 05:34 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Okay, username. The gloves are coming off, you "ho" slinger.

Username is a milfy Mock ho

From ESAD. To Dono. Next up, Mo?

Though she’d blow a giraffe

She always good for a laugh

I kinda like her, but don’t you dare tell HER so!…

Aww, you picked some cuties for me.


We're onnnn if I ever get off this damn phone.

(10-29-2012, 10:25 PM)Teacher Wrote:

(10-29-2012, 06:40 PM)Midwest Spy Wrote: It appears that in all the 'correct' limericks, lines 1, 2 & 5 rhyme, and lines 3 & 4 rhyme, but are different from the other 3?

I thought I did that in my most recent effort?

I ain't a poet and for sure know it.

MS, these are the guides for writing a limerick (which I had my elementary students do every year - some were hilarious).

You're right, Lines 1, 2, & 5 do rhyme as well as 3 and 4 rhyme.

Lines 1, 2, and 5 should have 8 syllables each while lines 3 and 4 should have 5 syllables each.

(I loved this lesson so much that I compiled a booklet of them with each kid illustrating his/her own limerick.)

Thanks teacher. I just needed some remedial Poetry.

You da bomb.

I'm gonna make you so proud of me!

There once was a guy named Jim B

He was smitten as one can be

His object of lust

A twat full of dust

had issues that gave her hot pee.

That was just mean but it was dirty! I'll try and do better later.

(10-30-2012, 07:59 PM)username Wrote: There once was a guy named Jim B

He was smitten as one can be

His object of lust

A twat full of dust

had issues that gave her hot pee.

That was just mean but it was dirty! I'll try and do better later.

Oh yeah. Well, I'm gonna dive into the gutter too (and then go wash my mind out with soap).


Username is a panty-less bitch

That sore vagina, good Lord it must itch

So, she must let it air

After all, fair is fair

If it could talk, bet that snatch would sure snitch...

Not saying I haven't done it elsewhere too but what happened to the syllable count? I count ten in your last line alone. Teacher gives you an F.

(10-30-2012, 08:25 PM)username Wrote: Not saying I haven't done it elsewhere too but what happened to the syllable count? I count ten in your last line alone. Teacher gives you an F.

I'm not confined by construct. Free-form limericking is all the rage.

(that's all I got)

I once took some acid and tripped
But the trip that I tripped kinda flipped
I danced on a fence
and fell on a wench
how did my pants get unzipped?

Acid is no joke.

I know to trip is just to fall.

I went out with my friend for a good beer
He had a story I was delighted to hear
A blonde did his taxes
and granted him access
but he wound up with her digits in arrears.

There once was a man named Gene
who invented a fucking machine
both concave and convex
it fit each sex
but O what a fucker to clean.