(04-25-2015, 06:44 PM)Jimbone Wrote:

(04-25-2015, 06:21 PM)Duchess Wrote:

...only when you're arrested for boinking the loveseat that was discarded alongside the road.

True. What you need to do is take that loveseat home... light some candles... put on some music... avoid the police altogether.

Clang knows what I'm talking about.

A Washington woman was arrested after allegedly striking a five-year-old boy with her truck before hiding from officers by crawling into a hole and covering herself with dirt.

The scent of Marsha Yumi Perry, 36, was tracked through a field by a Washougal police dog on Friday, who stopped within five feet of the hole she was hiding in, according to police.

After Officer Kyle Day, who could not see her, warned he was about to unleash the dog, 'the ground moved, and she sat up,' Washougal Sgt. Geoff Reijonen told Oregon Live.

Police said the boy suffered a cut to his face as well as scrapes to his knees and elbows, and he was taken to PeaceHealth Southwest Medical Center in Vancouver.

Her ears are huge.

Say Whaaaaaat???



^ Linda Blank, 48, was stopped by detectives in Douglas, Georgia.

Shockingly enough, Linda was found to be in possession of crack cocaine. She was busted and tried to swallow the crack during her arrest, but officers stopped her and were able to preserve the evidence.

She looks like one funny junkie bitch.

SAY WHAT!!!

California Hoser

It was warm here last night.

So, Robert Lopez was just chugging bottled beers, getting his buzz on, watering his lawn buck naked, and basically minding his own damned business. But, no, his meddling neighbors just had to call the Fresno police to report his ass.

The cops arrived and told him to put some clothes on. Foolishly, Robert declined and instead threw a beer bottle, threatened to get a gun, grabbed a small knife... No one was hurt, and the naked hoser was arrested on the scene.


^ Arrest photo ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robe..._ref=crime )

Rumor has it that BigRob called his cousin BigMark to come post his bail, but Biggie don't play that.

Lopez is facing felony charges of assault with a deadly weapon on a peace officer, resisting arrest, and a misdemeanor for indecent exposure.

I can see the joy in watching the entire thing from across the street naked chugging beer.

I believe everything this guy says. he has Trump hair.

A Jonesboro man accused of video voyeurism told police he intended to film himself urinating for a pornography website and had no plans of recording a woman as she showered during a visit to his house.

Geoffrey David Fortier, 23, allowed the woman to take a shower at the house June 7 where his fiancee also lived, but only after allowing him to use the bathroom first, according to an affidavit filed in Craighead County District Court.

When the woman came out of the shower, she found that an iPad was leaning against a wall, positioned in a way that captured her undressing and leaving the bathroom, she told authorities.



link

I cannot believe my luck!! Another one.

Joshua Hare was found naked – and with no other place to hide his drugs, tucking them in his foreskin seemed the only option. Of course it did, why wouldn’t it?

Police were called after a member of the public spotted the 24-year-old making a nuisance of himself in a carpark outside Homebase at around 8.30am.

He put up a little bit of a fight with officers and was arrested and taken to hospital on June 17, the court heard.

During the trial Keith Ballinger, prosecuting, described how the wrap of drugs slowly ’emerged’ from Hare’s genitals.

Sorry. Just try not to picture it.




link

(04-24-2015, 09:54 PM)HairOfTheDog Wrote: Sappy Sex Story



Kenneth Crowder, 41, was arrested Friday after witnesses in Melbourne, Florida reported a naked man running through their neighborhood, and having sex with a tree.

When an officer arrived, Crowder identified himself as "God". He then tried to attack the officer and stab him with his badge.

Crowder was tased and punched by the cop at which time he claimed to be Thor.

It is believed that Crowder was high on flakka, a synthetic stimulant similar to bath salts. Users sometimes believe they have super-human strength.

Crowder was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and other charges. The officer and the tree are both reportedly fine.

Ahahahahaaaa that poor asshole!!! I had sex with that tree too and got it pregnant. Now he is stuck with the nursery support payments because he was the last one, lol!!




That tree is a whore.

Any of you gonna pay for a piece of this? Her ass is for sale if you're interested.

(12-10-2016, 07:40 AM)Duchess Wrote:

Any of you gonna pay for a piece of this? Her ass is for sale if you're interested.

SCARY, to say the least!!

I saw her compared to the cast of The Walking Dead.

Jesus....thats just plain scary

Well she may have been pretty at one time before shooting her eye out with a BB gun while high on meth.

That's one eyed Wilma, she all dat and a scooby snack!

It was funny early this morning but when I just saw how I laughed, I cringed. It's pitiful that she's selling her body, probably to buy the drugs that have fucked up her face. She doesn't value herself and that's sad to me.

(12-10-2016, 03:12 PM)Duchess Wrote:

It was funny early this morning but when I just saw how I laughed, I cringed. It's pitiful that she's selling her body, probably to buy the drugs that have fucked up her face. She doesn't value herself and that's sad to me.

I was going to make a blind joke, but after reading this I turned a blind eye to all of it.

This winner, Matthew Stager - 45, was convicted of taking indecent liberties with a 15-year-old and was released from prison to a half-way house in St. Petersburg, Virginia.

He failed to show up to the half-way house and is now wanted by U.S. Marshals.



Gee, I'm sure he'll be hard to spot for those on the lookout.

Story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...large.html

They got his ass already. I would question what fucktard cut this ass while to get himself to the halfway house on his own?